What's the public reaction to a 54 yr old dating a 21 yr old?

Question

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I'm considering leaving my wife for a college stundent my youngest daughter is pledging with at thier college.


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Answer 1

My first reaction would be that she is just with you so you can be her 'sugar daddy'... I am not saying that some relationship with age gaps do not work out but I would have to say that it would be a little later in life... Hell she is your daughters age.... and 21... oh yeah like she is gonna be faithful, she is just coming out of her shell and about ready to start an adventure... boy do I remember my college years...

Answer 2

So... your secretary is 21 years old? Or the other question regarding the panties is from someone else? You are so ambitious you will get everything want. You might feel great going out with a sexy young woman who loves what your money can buy. (Remember, it's your money and the excitment it's not you) But, right now you are empowered, and rich, filthy rich. Just remember, you are not inmortal, and when you get sick and old the people who really loved you and care for you, might not be there, since you already hurt so many. And believe me, the clock is ticking.

My dad passed away when he was 56, really strong, at the peak of his life, just like you. Unlike you, he was surrounded by friends, wife and daughters who loved him and cared for him until his last breath. At his funeral, hundreds of employees, business men, janitors, old ladies, secretaries of state, professors, etc, were there to show their respect to a great man. Not for his money. If it was you, who would you think will be there with you. Probably just lawyers tearing at your last will. Do you really want that to be your legacy, was that all you are really worth... money and the sex and things that money can buy? You can't buy respect with money. You have to have values and live by them.

Maybe you have heard this before, but I really think your soul is pretty empty of the real stuff. It is all about you right now. Open your heart, and you will find a life much more rich that what money can buy, and love with your partner that is beyond ephimeral physical beauty.

Answer 3

honestly do you love anyone including yourself? how could you hurt your wife and daughter so deeply? i'm sure they'd go through a horrable depression. if your wife loves you you're gonna distruy her heart and your daughter will not respect you for not only leaving her mother and breaking up her family but for going for someone that's friends with her. I mean if you marriage is going to end that's another thing entirely but to go after your daughters friend is on an entire different level. If you are strongly attracted and excited around her then you should try to stay away from her if she comes to the house. Your hornyness will cause pain for everyone and if some how this might be a deterient for you, if you end up having an affair with your daughters friend( assuming she'd even go for it) your wife can and will use that against you when you file for divorce because she'll be able to get lots of money from you from going against your vows. think to yourself, do you want to hurt everyone and cause great pain if you do follow throw and decide to be with her and she accepts? its so no worth it. I know you said concidering but I feel that you're either doing it out of wanting some change of excitement and not having the routine life and sex with your life, or that there's a deeper problem within your marriage or you're unhappy with yourself or something else going on with your life and you want an escape and or maybe you might be attracted to her for some of her qualities you've witnessed in the time she's visited with your daughter and you've got the hots for her enough that you're hoping you've got a shot. With all of this said I think you've got a lot to contemplate so you may make the right decision for you. But please think of your family and at this point your wife is your family too.

Answer 4

First of all, why would you care about the public's opinion? You need to rely on yourself on this one. Is giving up everything you have worth getting involved with a 21 year old? Most 21 year olds are looking for a good time and a party hardy kinda guy, are you going to be able to keep up? And what happens to you when she wants to move on to explore other things in life? Things that you have already done? Is the loss of your world worth awhile with someone new???

Answer 5

Public would think your a rich old bastard because the only thing a 21 year old girl would see in someone your age is money then when she is done using you she will find someone younger and you will be alone just like you deserve and your wife will move on to find a man that wouldn't consider leaving her for a freakin kid plus your kids will hate you

Answer 6

I cannot imagine a 21-year-old girl who would ever look twice at a man your age (unless, of course, she's got some problem). Normal, attractive young women generally think they can do quite well dating guys within their own age range and don't need to take up with some "old man". So this young girl has some kind of emotional flaw going on, but maybe that's ok with you. Maybe you don't mind exploiting any emotional problems she may have.

I think that normal, well adjusted, middle-aged (bordering on elderly I might add) people look at younger people their children's age and see someone who is like their children. I know it may be different for women than men, but I look at a kid my daughter or son's age and see someone like my child. There just would seem to be some incestuous and/or pedophilia type of thing involved if I were to date someone like them! I don't even find them attractive for me. I can see they're good-looking and would call them that, but my preferences in potential partners has grown with me. (Again, I'm not a man.)

Still, I know men who would not be interested in dating a borderline-child. They wouldn't have anything in common with them, and they may even have their own daughter and imagine whether they'd like her with an old guy.

There's an imbalance that goes on between people of vastly different ages, and it often means someone is exploited or used or not valued in the way that a human should be.

I had some teenagers sitting at my dining room table once, talking. One person they knew had a father who had "taken up" with a girl not too much older than this young man. I heard my own kids say how they just knew that no matter what ever happened neither of their parents would "do anything weird". I cannot tell you how moved I was to hear that simple statement of sureness that my kids had when it came to their confidence that they'd never have to deal with some embarrassing mess one of their parents might bring about. Hearing that made me know that I had done my job right when it came to this because to know your children have faith in your "solidness" is kind of nice when they're no longer five years old.

In the situation you proposed here, an added complication is that you'd be horning in on your daughter's private world at school on top of everything else. Young people need their own world separate from their family life.

You asked for opinion. I gave it. I didn't spare the judgmentalism because to do that in order to be more polite and understanding to you would not give you an accurate picture of "public opinion".

People leave their marriages all the time. If you were really considering doing what your question suggests your wife would be better off with out anyway. As someone who lost the most wonderful and solid father, who was always taking care of other people, at 21 years old I have to say I'd still rather be me than be your daughter.

Answer 7

I'm a 54 year old male also.
Don't be an idiot.
Do not let this fantasy infatuation be your excuse.
If you want to divorce your wife, go ahead, after you've had at least six months to get over the divorce and she is still interested in you then marry the girl.
If she flies, she was never yours.
If she stays, she's a keeper!

Answer 8

Be sure you are making the right choice.. leaving your wife is one thing.. but going a girl your daughter goes to college with.. that is not right.. you have to think of how you are gonna make her feel..
And i don't know if you got lots of money or what...but make sure that is not your new girl friend wants...
I'm in a relationship with a guy 14 years older to me.. And you have to worry about what people say.. they ARE everywhere..!!

Answer 9

why would u leave the love of your life for someone else in the 1st place? thats not right, u made vows when wedding her....u cant stay young forever and maybe this is just a phase your going thru, think your life over and what your about to throw away...but if u really wanna kno what the public oppinion is, well....imagine dating your grandaughter, picture yourself at 30 years of age having sex to a newborn at that time....feels right?

Answer 10

you are a sorry excuse for a man and if i was your wife, i'd take you for all you have. a 51 year old dating a 21 year old is cool because they are of legal age....but anyone leaving thier wife/husband for another is not cool.