I like
A termite walks into a bar and asks Is the bar tender here.
... get it bartender? Ha ha
ok, how about this one. A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?"
....get it? long face a horse Ha ha ha
2006-09-29 16:42:15 · 17 answers · asked by Parrot Bay 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Quin = Looks under her bed. Looks under her keyboard. Looks under her mouse, her monitor, and her desktop lamp. Looks at your joke and looks confused.
She asks, "Where The Hell Is The Funny, Man?!"
2006-09-29 16:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by Quin 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. After sitting for a few minutes,
he hears a voice say, "nice tie." He looks around but doesn't see anybody
near him and so he forgets about it.
Some time passes and he hears the same voice say, "nice shirt." This time
he looks everywhere; behind him, up and down the bar, under the chair,
behind the bar, everywhere he can think to look, but he doesn't see anyone.
A few minutes later he hears, "nice haircut." He can't stand it any more, so
he calls the bartender over and tells him he has been hearing this voice but
can't figure out who is speaking.
The bartender says, "Oh that...that's the nuts...................."
".....they're complimentary."
2006-09-29 17:07:47 · answer #2 · answered by sunshine 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
A mathematician walks into a bar and sees a middle-aged man with long hair dressed in a 17th Century costume at the bar. Strangely enough, after a second look, he thinks he actually recognizes him, so the mathematician walks over to him.
"Hey," he says to the man, "you're Blaise Pascal, aren't you?"
"Oui, monsieur, I am..."
He shakes Pascal's hand very warmly and asks him if the wants a beer.
Pascal thinks a moment, says "I think not..."
...and promptly disappears in a puff of smoke...!
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(Yeah, yeah, I know - it DOESN'T make sense if you DON'T remember Pascal's famous statement, "I Think, therefore I am.")
2006-09-29 18:17:03 · answer #3 · answered by blktiger@pacbell.net 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There's a black man siting at a bar when a **** came in and sat next to him and got a drink. After a drink or two the **** got his nerve up and asked the black man if he wanted a bl0wjob. The black man started beating him up and threw him out the door. When he returned to his seat the bar tender asked what the **** had said to piss him off. The black man said I don't know but it was something about a job.
2006-09-29 17:57:07 · answer #4 · answered by Sean 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Here's one:
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and asks, "Is this a joke?"
2006-09-29 16:45:53 · answer #5 · answered by hermione_bjc_06 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Ted Kennedy walks into a bar and and everyone says hey ted whats up and he says my IQ if i were ten feet tall
2006-09-29 16:49:53 · answer #6 · answered by The Lonely Fatman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A gentleman walks into the bar slams his fist down and says I am so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cows balls.
The gay guy over in the corner says moo moo buckaroo...
2006-09-29 16:45:27 · answer #7 · answered by Smurfette 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow!"
2006-09-29 16:51:53 · answer #8 · answered by just wants to know 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Do you know that you have got a steering wheel sticking out of you fly?"
The man replies "I know ..... It's driving me nuts!!!"
2006-09-29 16:50:01 · answer #9 · answered by nyker 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A rabbi, a priest, and a buxom blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender asks, "Is this a joke?"
Looks like Hermione_ beat me to it.
2006-09-29 16:46:01 · answer #10 · answered by Teacher Man 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋