I didn't go to my brother's bday party, am I awful?

Question

I hung out with him the day after his actual bday and took him to dinner. He'd asked me and my bf to come to his party at a bar tonight. I told him yes, but later said no because I have lots of school work. Am I awful? He's turned me down several times when I wanted to hang out. And on my bday I asked if him and my mom wanted to go out for dinner and they both about had a whine fit because they didn't want to.

Answer 1

Naw, you should not feel bad. I wouldnt. He knows you love him, thats what matters most.

Answer 2

I don't think that you're being awful at all. The one thing that worries me a little bit about your account of the situation is that you offer up excuses, & have so much anger towards your mom and brother about their behavior.

If you couldn't go - or just didn't want to go - that's fine. And it sounds like you did your duty by taking him to dinner. That's the end of it. If your mom and brother aren't treating you well, that's a separate issue. If you make a connection between what happened on your birthday and what you've done for him on his, then that's kind of petty.

Try to stay above the fray, and act out of your own generous motives, not out of a desire to settle a score.

Answer 3

No you are not awful. The rule is do unto others. You had school work and that is much more important than going to a stinky bar. Besides, you spent the day with him and took him to dinner. He had is "moment". At ease woman!

Answer 4

Just stay involved with your family. You never know how quickly you could lose someone and it is worth the effort to spend time with each other.Sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture. You didn't ignore your brother, you just acknowledged his birthday on a different day.Don't ever let petty issues divide you. I have some family members who won't let go of the past and have allowed themselves to be alienated from some family. An avoidable situation.

Answer 5

That sounds pretty sad. I guess it's what you guys will continue doing to each other...until one of you passes away...then regrets will come...but by then it's too late. Apologize and promise to do better. Be a good example.... I lost my brother at a very young age (he was only 23)... and believe me- I tried my best to be a good sister- still there was one thing- a wished I granted him... I regret it big time. There's a saying it goes: "Treat your loved ones as if it's their last day on this earth. "

Answer 6

Don't stress about it. I missed my brother's wedding--that was kind of a mistake! But it sounds like you did other stuff to celebrate. I think it's funny how people often expect more courtesy than they give out themselves. Just the fact that you're worried about it says a lot about you--don't worry too much.

Answer 7

Absolutely not! as long as you really DID have homework, and did what you could to spend time with him, you aren't awful at all. Just let him know that you are sorry you didn't make it and keep being a good sister :-)

Answer 8

So you're just going to treat him the same way he and your mother treated you? You're not going to bother being the better person and go to the party...It doesn't make you "awful" but makes you no better than them.

Answer 9

It's nice to hear that your education is so important to you. NO, you shouldn't feel awful for not attending. You showed him you love him by making it up to him the next day. No reason to feel any guilt!! You made up for it. Feel good!!

Answer 10

No, as long as your spent some time with him. After all, school work needs to be a priority as well.

Answer 11

Did you not go because you wanted to get back at him or because you truly had other plans? Be honest because you only have one family and you should treasure the relationships.