We have been friends for years and he is my best friend's brother. Why did he suddenly put the moves on me and why did I fall for it? We had the greatest weekend but after a dodgy text message from him we are not speaking. I'm waiting for the results of a pregnancy test, but he doesnt know. I am heartbroken. No-one knows we got together. What can I do?
2006-09-29 15:34:19 · 20 answers · asked by DeeDee 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Trish, his ex fiancee got pregnant but she doesnt know if its his or not. He said after sexy weekend that he didnt want to know if I was pregnant. So I appear to have fallen for a lying tosser yet again
2006-09-29 15:39:37 · update #1
Billu, I think I would have baby but not tell him. It would be difficult as his sister is my best friend. I should not hve allowed anything to happened but I am paying for now. I would have to consider moving away. They are a large and criminal family and my family have never approved of her as a friend so they would go ballistic if they knew I had slept with her brother!
2006-09-29 16:11:08 · update #2
Babe on Rox - yeah I was totally stoopid letting my guard down and having unprotected sex 'cos it was a good friend and all. and nilechynlasor depressed and upset as I am I would not consider killing myself. I was weak; not suicidal!!
2006-09-29 18:18:35 · update #3
I'm sorry you have found yourself in this situation.
I think you fell for it because you believed what he was saying. The thing is, men (and women) will test you in life. Certain men like to test women, to see how far they will go and whether they will fall for the words. It's best to take men like this with a pinch of salt, as the saying goes.
However strongly attracted you are to the man at the time, you need to think long term. If he really means the words he is saying, it doesn't all have to happen yesterday. By that I mean, the two of you can start to establish a new relationship beyond any friendship that was there.
It's an old fashioned concept in this day and age, but honestly, dating someone over a period of time without sex will give you a better insight into his character. This is designed to protect you as the woman (it also protects him). The reason being that our levels of oxytocin (the bonding chemical) are initially much higher than men's and sex releases this for women, making us more likely to become emotionally attached once we have sex with someone. Men do not release such high levels initially. It literally takes them longer to bond to the woman. That bond is created by them getting to know you as a person within a dating scenario first without sleeping with them straight away.
It's basic biology, which our modern society has sought to change. Unfortunately, we can't beat it.
I truly hope that you are not pregnant from this encounter and I wish you all the best for your future. I hope you can put this hurtful episode down to experience and learn from it so that you are protected from this kind of event ever happening again.
Please use a condom in future, unless you really are in love with someone, both of you have proved that you can trust each other and both of you want children with each other.
Have a good life. I mean that.
2006-09-29 19:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you were vulnerable and he spotted that. You fell for his charm and he got what he wanted. All you can hope to do is learn from the experience. Think very carefully about what to do if you are pregnant. Do you want this man to be a feature in your life because he is your child's father? There are lots of childless couples out there who would only be too happy to adopt your baby and give it a wonderful loving home if you choose to have the baby, if you are pregnant. There is the obvious question though, in this age of ever increasing STD's, why were you having unprotected sex? This is something you really need to put on the DO NOT DO list.
2006-09-29 18:12:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can pray to God that you are not pregnant and then move on with your life.
Men will say anything for a bit of 'fun' with a girl. It doesnt matter that you have known him for a long time. Some men are just after one thing and will do ANYTHING to get it.
I guess the reason you fell for it was because just like all the other girls out there we all would love to believe that some man wanted us sooooo much and sometimes lust clouds our vision.
Learn from this experience.
2006-09-29 15:38:18 · answer #3 · answered by wickedly_funny66 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cause he is a dog, Sorry about what happened to you and I am pretty sure ur not the only one. But yeah if ur pregnant,"child support baby". But do not try to stay with him cause obviously he is not worth it and ur better off without him, I am pretty sure you will find someone who will appreciate you for who u are. Take care baby and I hope everything works out for you.
2006-09-29 15:40:20 · answer #4 · answered by shy girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He did it because he knew you was an easy target but just wait for the results and if you are pregnant, take care of your, with or without him but if you aren't be glad and next time give them something to think and dream about before giving it up. Good luck:)
2006-09-29 15:37:20 · answer #5 · answered by loveable 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry, but I would proberbly iether leave town, you will go somewhere better, or kill yourself. what are you doing......get a termination. start life again, yours I mean. it depends on age, but if your fourty, have the child, anywhere under that age, run, abort, and go and live, and travel, and be happy. and get rid of all the crap you are surrounding yourself with. Cheer up, the end of the world is nigh (joke) xxx hope it works out. o.k.
2006-09-29 18:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whatever you do doont try to lie.it always comes back arround. admit to your mistakes its the best way to get over them.and if you dont get pregnant, next time your tempted...remember this feeling, you dont want to ruin your life. be thankful if you didnt get pregnant,god is giving you a 2nd chance.but if you are jus consider it a little gift in disguise.dont worry things can b worse.good luck girl.your not alone.
2006-09-29 15:38:53 · answer #7 · answered by misslikestotalk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a real loser wait and see what the results are,if you are expecting and you plan to keep the child you must tell your parents and the boy notice i didn't say young man
2006-09-29 15:39:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait for the results on the test. If it's so, let him know. Under no circomstances at this time IF you are PG, don't make threats. If he gives you the heaVE HOE............kick his *** to the curb and go after child support.
2006-09-29 15:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its sum thing that alot of women go through.dont worry think positive.. if he leave u cuz the baby his then take care of him or her n give the best love to yh chilld( if yah have 1)
2006-09-29 15:42:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋