I need help. I feel so stipid. Since I called my ex to make sure we were friends my heart has cracked. he isn't living so close to here, which maybe good. Everyone and here, and everyone I know tells me not to go back to him. Besides, I think he has someone else now. I dated him for 2 yrs and fell in love. The last time I was with him we talked a little about what we would do when he came home. Since he's be gone he cheated, and i was first pis-sed. I talk to his sister just a little earlier (whose one of my best friends) and he called their on the home phone and I heard is voice. I felt ore pathetic. If I'm not studying or in class, he's all I can think about. what should I do?! Please help!!!!!!
2006-09-29 15:15:01 · 8 answers · asked by Artsy 1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How can he cheat if he's your ex
2006-09-29 15:17:20 · answer #1 · answered by lyndles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, don't feel stupid. Many people have been in the exact same scenario or a pretty close to identical one, and I'm sure in the future, even more people will.
Often couples break up, go back out, break up, etc, etc, out of habit. But if you broke up in the first place, there had to be a reason. Everyone has flaws, and no relationship is perfect--- you have to work hard to make it even close. And if you aren't with this guy now, one or both of you were unwilling to fix whatever was wrong, or maybe, it just didn't feel right anymore.
If he cheated on you once, I'd have to say that it means it's just as likely it'll happen again. Not definite, but likely. And if he cheated on you for someone else, how much can he care for you?
You just got out of this relationship. He's going to be on your mind a lot still for awhile. You're healing right now. You need to take a deep breath and realize he's not your life. There is a life that you control that he's not always going to be in. You can have fun without him, and in time, you will. Just do your best and take it one day at a time.
If you find yourself getting back in with this guy, which you shouldn't, but old habits die hard, then... all I can suggest is that if you are going to, make sure from the beginning that the two of you talk everything out, talk to each other about any problems you had before, and try resolving them. If you find you still can't, then maybe it's not worth your time.
2006-09-29 22:23:23 · answer #2 · answered by Boxers 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are clueless about what to do because you haven't been getting the answers that you want to hear. If you want to get his attention then you need to do the thing that you are going to hate the most: ignore him. Pretend that he doesn't exist. You cannot let his sister know that it is an act. She is entirely too close to the situation and if she were to give you away you'd never have a reaction. See how he reacts when you "meet a new guy". DON'T say things like "I don't like you" or "I met someone else and couldn't care less". No.
What you do is tell the sister you met someone. Tell her how much you like him, give a fake name, whatever. Play it up. She'll pass this along to her brother in passing. Don't ask the sister about your ex, don't inquire how he's doing, CHANGE the SUBJECT when she mentions him, etc. That part is the hardest. This is the only true way to find out how he feels. If he really wants to be with you, or wants you back at all, he will have something to say about it. If he doesn't, then you will recieve no reaction at all. This is going to take more than a day or so to work. You may have to play this up for a month. After a month if you get no reaction...then you've already gotten used to not talking about him anyway.
Either way you win.
2006-09-29 22:22:14 · answer #3 · answered by A.R. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are now an apprentice in patience... You are learning to be patient. Situations change. Sit and wait.... It might be you who will not be ready to resume after a while... just think about it... your emotions would have faded by then or he might be gone . Life teaches a lot . Learn what a stretch of time means
2006-09-29 22:21:01 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Dragon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he cheated & seems to have moved on, you have GOT to move on too! Being stuck on someone like that is very unhealthy for you- you deserve better than that, don't you think?
2006-09-29 22:18:07 · answer #5 · answered by from HJ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should feel stupid..sorry.....why would you allow a guy to preoccupy your whole self when he has no thoughts of you? Learn to love yourself and guys will gravitate toward you. You then can decide if they are worthy of YOU. GOOD LUCK
2006-09-29 22:21:17 · answer #6 · answered by pazd7 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweety you are totally head over heals about him...it's hard to let go it seems...you have to learn to survive on your own..THINK if he was able to live with out you then you CAN do it and trust your instincts...IF he can Have another love in his life Then YOU CAN have a better someone than him!!
2006-09-29 22:22:01 · answer #7 · answered by sweet cherry78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
3 words.... get over it
2006-09-29 22:17:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋