When will an African American male stop playing the field and own up to their children?

Question

My sons father is 28, and constantly parties, he lies and he cheats, even though we aren't together, he still maintains we have a future andhe wants to be a good father. He has no time for his son and tried to blame it on work. Our son is 11mths old, and he really doesn't know his father. He dabbles as a corner pharmisist. He even has alcohol and drug addictions, which he hid from me. Now that I am aware, I try to get him help. But he refuses. The group he associates with have nothing in the ay of morals or values. I am the b****. He will move mountains for them, and do nothing for his son, or me. I am trying to move on, but he keeps his presence know. I care, but I am not willing to go through the added drama. When will his child become important? He uses him as a chick magnet, the two times he had him alone. I am afraid to allow him alone with my son. He says I should hold it down, and be patient. This is literally making me sick. Why is this such an alluring game for him?

Answer 1

Sounds like there are a variety of things going on with him. He simply is not willing to give up this way of life, but willing to let you be pretty much the sole parent without any emotional support for either you or your son. What makes you believe this will change? Wouldn't you rather move on (and he doesn't need to know where you are) and create a life of respect for you and your son? Just stop and think of the example your son will have if he grows up with lies, cheating, & addictions? Do you want your son to think this is what a man is supposed to be? You will just have to decide that you have had enough & want to become healthy for you and your son. You are like a security blanket to him, but wouldn't you rather be loved & cherished the way a woman is supposed to? I don't think this is a game, I think it is his way of life. Otherwise, he wouldn't be satisfied with the way his life is going and would be working on changing it and not expecting you to keep quiet & live with it.

Answer 2

oh girl just cut his *** off and move on I've been there and that's the best thing to do . My ex is doing 7 yrs now for selling and thank god we didn't have any kids together and as far as my sons father he's 38 and he's still playing the field . What you need is a good man with a job , **** the dope boys thay ain't **** and something always happens . A man with a real job is stable and isn't living that lifestyle. Sounds like you wanna live the ghetto life looking on the corner . get a real man .

Answer 3

Race is no issue here, there is white trash that does the same things. What is the issue here is that he is NOT a man but a BOY. Tell him it is time to grow up, or pay up. Copy your states child support table and show him how much he will pay each month. Also, If he is using your son for a "chick magnet", tell him that the next time you hear, see, or even think he is, You will see him in support court.

Answer 4

Get a backbone and stand up for yourself and your son! Your baby needs you to protect him, you are the only one who can and he relies on you for that.
This man is a L-O-S-E-R-!! He sells drugs, takes drugs and hangs out with druggies. What in Gods name do you see in him that you could even entertain the idea that he could be a good father???

Answer 5

i'm not experienced in gay relationships and doubtless this could be extra desirable if asked in that section. men tend to be extra aggressive whilst they bypass after a women human beings; so i assume a similar applies to m:m factors of interest. only chalk it up a factor. What might you do in case you hit a dry spell.

Answer 6

When his child is old enough to peddle crack for him.