These little darlin's are driving me crazy. What to do??

Question

My husband's grandchildren (aged 5 and 6) are overactive to the point of destruction. Each time they visit, they are in constant aggitated motion, shrieking and hooting, and racing from room to room, picking up any damned thing that strikes their fancy, spilling, tearing, breaking and generally tossing each room they enter into disarray.

The parents speak to them, but the kids are not *required* to behave like humans, and the kids know it.

Of course, any advice is welcome, but what I'd really like to know is, am I wrong to dread their visits? Is there something wrong with me to think this is unacceptable? Everyone else seems to think it's ok.

Thanks for any comments.

Answer 1

I do not agree that you will have to bear with it while they visit. How would those kids feel if you went to their house and tore up their room and broke their toys and such. I am a mother of an 8 year old and a 11 month old and would NEVER allow my children to behave in such a manner at someone else's home or in public. That is what the backyard is for. I would suggest that they have a special toy box (cardboard box is great) that has toys, games, colors, videos etc in it and they cannot take any of the contents home - it is only for play at your home. Make sure that it is something that they will be interested in, but it never leaves your home. That way when they come to visit is the only time that they can play with it. you might even look into dress up stuff as well. Another tip is to have a treasure hunt for the new location of the toy box each time they visit. Leave little clues out in the open for them and maks sure that they understand that they must come to you before they move anything or that person is out and it is up to the other to find the treasured toy box alone and to get a set amount of minutes of playtime that the other child cannot participate in. Should the children disobey the rules, they cannot even look for the treasure box for 5 minutes or 10 minutes (How long will they be there? (O; ) Be sure that you set up the rules of your household and you let the children know what the rules are and the consequences of not following the rules are. Your home is full of things that are only at your home. It is a treasure trove unlike anything they have at home. Give them their own treasure trove at your home. I really think that will help. Be firm about the rules though.

Answer 2

is this your house or their's?
Anyone would dread such visitor so don't feel bad!
you may want to draw the line. This is your house so here are the rules... and here are the penalty for not following the rules...
the kids might actually appreciate some boundaries. you may need your husband to back you up. but you do not need the parents! parents should help but if they don't, take charge and run your house as you see fit. and if it means that the kids end up on time out most of the visit, tough luck and they might think again next time. the kids might also appreciate someone to play more quietly with them.
Good luck (and if it does not work, leave the house to your husband and go for a coffee somewhere!!!)

Answer 3

Speaking to them is one thing, but making them mind is something else. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, I would also dread their visits.
When they visit, you didn't say for how long. I personally would invest in a VCR and/or DVD player, you would be surprised at the quiet you would get while they are watching a child's movie such as Winnie the Pooh, Ghost Dad, Shaggy Dog to name a few, my grand children love watching Barney, they are 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 as long as the video is on, they are like angels. Also you may want to invest in some age appropriate toys, you can go to Goodwill or Salvation Army stores and get some nice toys for very little cost and their play value is incredible.

Good Luck

Answer 4

By all means no it is not OK for them to behave this way. All my cousins and my sister love to bring there kids over or constantly ask for me to babysit. So when the same began I told the parent if they do not do anything then I will. As long as they are in home they follow my rules no exceptions. believe me these kids know what they can and can't touch. I do the time out method I make sure to have things they can play with. I know my home is neat and nothing out of place so I needed to come up with something to keep them busy. I bought this little shed and asked them to bring outside toys and they have that. I also made sure they are books and coloring stuff. They are kept in areas that do not bother when they come over. Just a thought...

Answer 5

watch Super Nanny or Nanny 911 once on T.V. and you will see why they are behaving as they do and what you can do about it. You have the right to not allow certain behaviors in your home.
I have grandchildren who act differently in my home than theirs. One grandchild never picks up at home here I require it.
This is grandmas home and my grandbabies must follow grandmas rules like it or not!!!
At first the children were taken back a little and so were the parents but after a little time everything worked out fine and I,ve got controll and I,ve got sanity.
My things are my things and NEVER are they to be touched unless I tell you otherwise and my grandbabies had to learn that lesson.
I do not spank but use "No" and time out, and it works great!

Answer 6

There is NO way in hell I would allow that in my home. My son would never be allowed to behave like that anywhere and if he DID I would have no problem with whoever the owner of the house was telling them the rules of the house. You need to speak to your husband and tell him what you are feeling and if he wont say anything then the next time the rugrats tear around like beasts grab them by the arm and MAKE them stop. Tell them the house rules and that if they dont listen then can go sit quietly with their parents. You may also want to speak to the parents if that doesnt work.


P.S. I'd rather have them think I was a meany then have them think they could act like that in my house.

Answer 7

Since it is yours and your husbands house you need to lay down the law when they get there.

Get a few activities they can do when they get to your house. Make a table/shelf area with these things available to them. Putting a small TV near by would be good too.

When they come explain to them certain parts of the house are off limits. That the area you made for them they are free to play in. If they can't listen you will have to ask the parents to discipline them or have then sit until they leave.

Talk with your husband and see what he thinks. He may not understand until something that he values gets broken.

Answer 8

ok, the parents should be disiplining them, not just tlking to them. at the ages 5 and 6 they should not be acting like 3 and 4 year olds. they should be old enough to know to respect other peoples property. im think it is perfectly ok to dread their visits. set down some ground rules. it is your house and the parents should know enough not to let their children destoy their grandparents house. tell them that if they will not control their children then dont come over anymore or their visits are spent in the sitting room in the corner while the grown ups talk. you can make anything rule up, just dont be too harsh because your the grandparent it is the parents job to disipline their children. srry i took so long.

Answer 9

There is NOTHING wrong with it. I would feel EXACTLY the same way. The kids need to learn how to act. The parents need to be spoken to VERY strongly (probably better if your husband does this, as you sound like you're not directly related to the kids). If they can't discipline them, you're going to have to, since it's your house and it's not fair that someone would let them treat it like that. First try sending them outside. If they have to be inside try offering crayons, books, or something quiet and calm to see if maybe offered a distraction they will spare your house. If that doesn't work try a stern talking to, and if that doesn't work try putting them in time-out or something. Make sure the parents and your husband know that you intend to do this- and perhaps they will be more inclined to keep their kids in line. It is NOT acceptable for people to allow their kids to destroy other people's houses.

Answer 10

The kids shouldn't be acting like that, it's ok for you to dread them coming over because they are tearing up your house. I'd be a bit upset about that too. You should talk to your husband about it so that he can talk to the parents, i would be embarrased to take my kids somewhere and they acted like that. It's very unacceptable. Maybe try limiting what rooms they can go in. When they come over, lock the doors to the rooms they are not allowed in.