unhappily single?

Question

i'm ok when i wake up, go to school/work and think about what i'd like to accomplish. or when i go out with my friend, go to the movies, read a book & so on...but when i get home, in the afternoon and in the middle of the night (if i can't fall asleep) i feel really depressed. i so miss having someone in my life and it just doesn't happen. so how do i deal with being single and feel satisfied about being alone. (please don't write about going out and dating different people 'cause you can't force yourself into falling in love.) you can fool your mind but not your heart.

thanks.

Answer 1

Actually, none of the previous answers really offer you any comfort so, if you don't mind, let me offer some advice from someone who had been single 43 years. Everything you are feeling is normal, we all so want to be loved because most of us have alot of love to give. It makes sense because we are created in God's image and his greatest attribute is love. Afterall, he recognized Adams' neede for companionship and therefore created Eve. (Genesis 2:18). However, we live in a sick society and a system rapidly coming to an end. Jesus himself stated it is a fine thing to continue single, "if you can make room for it" (matthew 19:10,11). But, the reality is, you are probably still feeeling lonely. Well, there are a few things that can help. First, keep yourself occupied. One thing I told myself is, I would not settle for just anyone because Im lonesome. As a songwriter, I spent most of my time writing songs about a paradise Earth and a few about love and such. in the meantime, I kept my eyes open until I "finally" found a quality marriage mate. So my friend, all is not lost, you probably just have high standards and are trying to find someone to live up to your criteria. There is nothing wrong with that. Take the matter in prayer and focus on spiritual things and, just like Jehovah God says in Matthew 5:30 "God thus clothes the vegetation of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much rather clothe YOU, YOU with little faith? 31 So never be anxious and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or, ‘What are we to drink?’ or, ‘What are we to put on?’ 32 For all these are the things the nations are eagerly pursuing. For YOUR heavenly Father knows YOU need all these things. Hope that helps

Answer 2

I'm 42, never married and happy as a lark. I've also raised 3 sons while dealing with work/school/crippling illness. I understand how you feel because I have certainly been there. I really have no advice other than surrounding yourself with people during your lowest points.

It might help to volunteer at a shelter, hospital, nursing home or the like. Helping others can do wonders for the soul. Best of luck to you.

Edit: Keep busy.After reading over what I had typed, I realized that had been what worked for me, so that is the advice I offer. Things have a way of working out for the best. You just need to give it some time.

Answer 3

You have to like yourself and feel comfortable with yourself! That is how you deal being single and alone. I am not saying that every night you will be fine if you are secure with yourself. You will have your lonely times. If you think about it, you really arent alone...you have friends to go out with dont you? Family? Yes, I know that is not the same as being in a realtionship with someone. But you have people out there that you feel close to. Finally, If you dont like being alone when you are home at night, and you dont want a partner right now, get a cat or a dog.

Answer 4

I found that becoming involved in things that were "bigger" than my little self-absorbed world really helped a lot. I got involved working with the youth in my church, helping at a homeless shelter, mentoring at-risk kids, etc. It really put things into perspective for me. It made me realize how much more there is to life than romantic love. I still occasionally get a little down about being single, but really not very often anymore....maybe twice a year. (And I still haven't given up on finding someone...I'm just a lot happier in the meantime)

Answer 5

You're still in school and you say you don't like being single? How old are you! There is alot in life to do before you meet and choose a life partner. Concentrate on school and learning something. Also, it sounds like you don't have a relationship at all with God. He should be first...then you won't have that empty feeling. Please don't squander these formative years of your life. If and when you do get married, it's going to be for a long, long time.

Answer 6

theres more to life than worrying about a male he'll come in time go out and travel and see the world meet new people just get to know you don't be so down on yourself for being alone i'm the same but i'm being optimistic on life because i need to help myself be alright with being alone before i can be in any relationship get a journal and just write out your emotions and feelings talk out your feelings and if you need to cry get to know yourself and just be confident don't worry about being single guys are all over the place but you want to meet the right one so don't rush it let time run it's course enjoy life

Answer 7

I, too, am unhappily single after losing my husband on Aug 2. I try to keep going and doing good for others that are hurting. I find comfort being with others that are lonely. I realize it is within myself whether I am happy or sad, lonely or full of life. It is completely within me to make the best of my life.
Pr 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he(kjv)

Answer 8

Well, I am only 17, so I don't know much about life or love. But I made the choice early on that love causes to much and devestation to get involved. So I don't plan on getting married, and since I made that choice early on, I don't have to deal with dating and breaking up, and dating and breaking up. My personal opinion is that, in the long run, no matter what, love will only hurt you, so why not avoid it alltogether??

Answer 9

A dog or a cat would be a big lift to you. Scores of lonely people have found that they feel much better with a beloved pet.

Answer 10

When the time is right, it will happen. Too many rush into things that don't work out.
Don't be like them.

God made you perfect just the way that you are.

Someone is going to recognize that and love you just the way that you are.

Love and blessings
don