Who should pay for the first date?

Question

Traditional gender roles state that a man should pay, yet in modern times women have become more independant. The argument is that if he doesn't pay he is cheap and not a gentleman, but isn't this a double standard if the woman isn't considered cheap as well? I think on the first date it should be dutch, with all other dates based on whether they rotate who pays or if one is poor the other pays all the time or they just keep going dutch.

I am not saying I would never pay but I think that paying for the whole tab should be a reward, like paying for treating friends and family. The woman should be as honored to see a man as it is for a man to see the woman. Since gender roles assume the man must approach and ask, using the etiquette rule "the asker pays" is not fair. Maybe women should pay because she isn't likely to approach me in the first place!

Ok. Argue away. P.S. Useful link below.

http://www.glennsacks.com/should_men_still.htm

Answer 1

I stand by "the asker pays". Yes, guys do still ask out girls more than the other way around, but i can gurantee you will not make a good impression if you ask her out on the date and then expect her to pay for it. You will definitely MAKE a lasting impression, but it wont be a good one. A guy should not ask a girl out if he does not have money to cover whatever he plans. If you dont have money, then come up with something less expensive to do. How about going to a park or a museum? Sometimes the most momorable dates are the ones that cost less. Dinner and a Movie is cliche, and costs a lot.

BTW - girls DO ask guys out sometimes. When I get asked out on a first date, I will usually offer to pay atleast my half when the check comes. Usually the guy will not let me pay, but it gives him a little bit of a break and the opporunity to share the costs. If it ask a guy out - I pay for dinner. And if he feels like he needs to pay at least his half, i wont argue with that much. But, at least he has the option.

Also - I think that once you are dating more steadily you should both share expenses. If one of you makes more money than the other and doesnt mind paying more often that is okay too.

Answer 2

Well i have to admit, i'm extremely old fashioned and love to see the man pay....however it's a new day and age and a lot of the women are paying. How about a compromise, go dutch.

Answer 3

Whoever asks the other on the date has to pay. So if I ask you too dinner I am suppose to pay even though I am a female. How can I ask you to pay when I invited you ? Doesn't make sense at all

Answer 4

It depends on whos doing the asking if the female ask, I think that she should pay unless he offers, otherwise I think the guy should pay and if it starts to get serious and the two continue to date then you should take turns paying you pay on one date and he pays on another. But if he insists on always paying then don't worry about it and enjoy.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

The guy SHOULD pay for the first date BUT the girl can pay for herself it depends on the girl and the guy but the girl should make sure she has extra money JUST IN CASE!!!!

Answer 7

either go dutch if it's not a serious date. Or whoever asked the other person out should pay.

Answer 8

The one who should pay is the one who ask for the date .unless u plan to go dutch .

Answer 9

you may not realize it, but how you handle this sends a message to her and it is up to you to decide how you want to present yourself:

i think it sends a message to the girl exactly where you think the relationship is going. if you want to be friends, and equals, i say that you should go dutch.

if you are looking for a relationship, and you think she is potential wife material, i would suggest you pay.

that is just my opinion.

Answer 10

its true that a real man always pays... but women shouldnt always take advantage of that... ((some like to pig out))... pay half/ half... that resolves anything ... :)
or if that fails to work.. you can always say that if the guy asks the girl, he pays.. and vice versa... but sometimes guys have this whole masceline ((?)) thing going for them so they wont allow it.. lol...