An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
When they arrived to the doctor's office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.
Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"
He replied, "To the kitchen."
She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
He replied, "Sure."
She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"
He said, "No, I can remember that."
She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that."
He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."
With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily:
"I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"
2006-09-29 12:13:20 · 24 answers · asked by chapped lips 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Very funny!♥
2006-09-29 12:16:31 · answer #1 · answered by iluvsoftball 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A traveler was driving through Arkansas when he lost his way and got off the main highway. As he drove by, he saw rows and rows of pigsties and pigpens and pigs running in fields and pigs wallowing in mud. Suddenly, his eye caught something really strange. He did a double take, muttered to himself and then looked a third time. He wondered if he had seen correctly - it looked like a pig with a wooden leg!
He found the lane to the farm and drove up into the farmyard, where he was met by the farmer. "Excuse me," the traveler said. "I was just driving by and looking at all your pigs, and I noticed something that I just had to stop and ask about. Tell me, did I see right? Is there really a pig out there with a wooden leg?"
The farmer smiled. "Oh, that would be old Caesar you saw. He's the finest pig a man could ever hope to have - and smart! Well, let me tell you a little about that pig. You see that barge down there on the river? That's a mining dredge, taking out platinum ore. Old Caesar sniffed out the vein and showed us how to set it up. Now that dredge brings me in about $120,000 every year.
"There's another thing, too, a little more personal. One night a couple of years ago I got to drinking and I guess I had more than I should have. I passed out drunk, fell down and knocked over a lamp. That started a fire in the house and old Caesar smelled the smoke. He came in the back door, got the wife and kid out, roused me up and got me out.
"There is no question about it - that night old Caesar saved all our lives and you know that is not the sort of thing a man is going to forget too easily."
"Why," the traveler said, "this is all amazing! I have never heard of a pig like this before! This is fantastic! But tell me, how did he get that wooden leg? Was he in a wreck or something?"
The farmer laughed and said, "Well, naturally, when you have a pig that smart, you don't want to eat him all at one time!"
2006-09-29 12:22:07 · answer #2 · answered by Robert 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
75 year old Morris marries a 29 year old lady,
she thinks separate bedrooms might be best.
she doesn't want him to overexert himself,
but she waits for his knock, knock on the door...
her groom is ready for action,
and they unite in conjugal union,
then they part and she prepares to fall asleep.
after a little while... knock, knock again,
he is ready for more action!
all goes well, he bids her good night
she is ready for sleep now when...
knock, knock... he is ready again,
they do it the 3rd time!
she says..."i am really impressed that a man your age
has enough juice to go at it 3 times!
you're a great lover Morris!"
Morris looks confused and looks at her,
"i was here before???"
2006-09-30 22:37:42 · answer #3 · answered by dwh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cute.
2006-09-29 12:21:28 · answer #4 · answered by Brooklynn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really liked that! Thank you for making me laugh. I needed that.
2006-09-29 12:35:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha.
2006-09-29 12:16:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank You I, needed a laugh.
2006-09-30 12:33:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard better.
Hook EM
2006-09-29 13:01:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't criticize, I can never remember any jokes to tell.
2006-09-29 12:17:28 · answer #9 · answered by Sue Chef 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's cute
2006-09-29 12:35:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋