why does my boyfriend always have to get so drunk?

Question

When he goes out without me I dread him coming home because he's usually really drunk. He irritates me when he's like that because it's like trying to talk to an idiot, he can't talk properly and asks the same question over and over. When I get annoyed with him he thinks that i don't like him going out without me, or that I'm jealous or something, which I'm really not, I just hate how stupid he is when he comes home wasted. What can I do?

oh yes answerer 1, I'm definitely going to award you best answer for that.

Answer 1

Time to face facts, he may have a drinking problem!

Answer 2

It sounds like he's a binge drinker. Depending on his age, this may not be that unusual and may be a sign of immaturity. As he matures, he may realize that he seems foolish to everyone else and shape up. I, myself, have tendencies toward binge drinking. When I start drinking, I drink to get drunk. I am aware that this is not considered responsible, social drinking. For me, as I matured, I began to make more appropriate choices. For instance, if I am in a situation in which it would be embarrassing to get drunk, I probably won't drink at all or I will limit myself to one or two and then switch to pop. I also plan for a designated driver, don't drink when I know I have to get up the next day, etc. I basically drink probably three or four times a year and only in situations in which the group I'm with is determined to get trashed too. That way we're all being equally stupid and aren't too annoying to each other. By the way, contrary to popular belief, not all alcoholics are constantly falling-down drunk. I've known some alcoholics who were seldom that drunk (slurring, stumbling, etc.)--they just drank all day long.

Answer 3

I was with a man that every night or most nights for several years came home like that. Except that besides being stupid, be was abusive, wanted sex and just plain treated me like crap. I left, and even though I still love him. Living together wasn't an option anymore. People who drink to feel better or people who drink because they think it's fun are usually depressed and/or are alcoholics. Tell him you love him and ask him to get help for this problem and that you will stand behind him. Don't drink yourself as a way to help him stop drinking. He will ONLY quit if he wants to and if he doesn't want to, you have to make the decision if it (the drinking) is going to be something you can let go of and you will have to try and not make a big deal of it, or if you cannot let it go, you will have to leave. Ultimatley the drinking is up to him, staying is up to you. Good luck.

Answer 4

I know your problem. I was,(am?), an alcoholic although I haven't been drunk for over two years. Once you've admitted to yourself your problem then it never goes away.
I've lost jobs, driving licenses, freedom, marriage and kids through it and I started off as you describe your boyfriend - probably says "just had a few beers"!!
You cannot stop him drinking by demanding him to, it will only make him go the other way, (beleive me). The video is a good
idea. It has to be on his on volition to want to stop or at least slow down.
Good luck to you, I know what a pain I was. Take it easy cos the alkies like a good argument for an excuse to go to the pub!
Take care.

Answer 5

I feel sorry for you darling.I was like this for years and it was really selfish It's only now that i'm sober do i realise how awful it must have been for my g/f at the time.Try talking calmly to him when you are both sober.People just dont understand how destructive alcohol is because it's so widely accepted still.I still try to go to pubs(sober) but I have to leave once the crowd I'm with starts to get really pissed cos it's like being with out of control children. Try reversing the roles to let him know what it feels like, not in a childish,tit for tat way but just so you can try and draw some empathy from him.Anyway I wish you luck but don't put up with any sh1t from him!

Answer 6

It sound like your boyfriend is a heavy drinker and could use a nice 12 step program, but he is the only one that can go for help. He is showing alot of the sign of a potential alcoholic. It never get any better just worse

Answer 7

because he is an immature idiot that doesn't know that there are other ways to have fun without getting drunk. Maybe you should video tape how stupid he looks when he comes home drunk and show it to him. If that don't work, leave him because it could progress into violent attacks towards you.

Answer 8

You have many options.
1. Dump him
2. You come home blinding drunk and see how he likes it
3. Take advantage; shop on the net with his credit card while he sleeps it off
4. Go out with him and swap some of the drink for low alchol versions or the doubles for singles, etc
5. erm . . . thats it brain has stopped working

Answer 9

drop him like a hot potato or a bad habit if that can be done. he isnt grown up enough to hold his beer because he is not old enough for harder drink. if you stay with him your life will be filled with abusing talk and maybe abusive physically.he hasny matured enough to drink with respect to you or others. most young men think drinking smoking and swearing is manly but that is an understatement. if hes one of those tough guys with a atitude tell him to get in touch with a marine recriuter and enlist. he wont make the grade because of his moral issues and out look on life.the military will take him but its would be up to him to make the commitment.i used to think i was tough guy too.i joined during vietnam and it got my life back on track.i was severely injured during vietnam and as an older and much wiser man i am loyal to GOD my family my country and other peoples feelings.dont let this guy ruin your life please.

Answer 10

my boyfriend does exactly the same and it drives me mad too, i dont go round his house on days that he goes out without me. he understands that i find him anoying and embarrassing but he likes to 'have a good time' when i dont go out with him. it doesnt make any sense to me because he doesnt remember what he did when he was drunk so to me its a waste of money.

the best thing you can do is video tape him when he is drunk and show it to him when he is sober, he will then see what you see and maybe it will kick him up the bum to cut down on his drinking slightly so he doesnt get so drunk.

goodluck x

Answer 11

If he's coming home like that consistently, then he has the problem. Find another guy or things will only get worse later. Or let him do the driving when you go out.