I'm not a mean person by any means- at least not to people that i vaguely know. its like when i get to know somebody well enough and feel comfortable around them, i become a *****. Almost every time. I have a good heart and feel for people- but always seem to ignore the consequences of being mean until i finally have to face them afterwards. If i didn't care about this, i wouldn't be on this website asking for answers so if you have any ideas.........please feel free. I just want to learn how to enjoy life more and smile and laugh more often. life is not any fun if you're upset.
2006-09-29 10:33:10 · 13 answers · asked by justmeandsoccer88 2 in Health ➔ Other - Health
Sounds like you are trying to sabotage a good thing. I think counseling would help.
2006-09-29 10:35:24 · answer #1 · answered by jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably need to discuss this with a counselor, especially if you have noticed this about yourself repeatedly. But I do applaud you for recognizing it, admitting it, and being willing to do something about it.
My amateur guess is that you are deep down seeking acceptance of some sort and as you begin to feel that from people, you have a strong urge to reveal the "real you." This is fine and normal as people grow in a relationship. But hopefully you can learn to reveal the "real you" in ways that are not rude and mean-spirited toward others. Just continually put yourself in the other person's shoes and ask yourself, "Would I like to be treated this way?" If the answer is no, don't do it. This isn't to say that you shouldn't be honest with people, but when you are honest with people you need to do so in a way that levels criticism gently rather than harshly.
2006-09-29 10:44:24 · answer #2 · answered by lmnop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think nearly everyone has this problem from time-to-time. It is caused by what the Bible calls our sin nature. This can only be
overcome (God's definition/solution) by getting a new nature from
the Lord God himself, in the person of Jesus Christ. Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament, said that he struggled with this problem, and did so throughout his life. No one can totally escape it-comes with being an (Adam born) human.
To wit:
Romans 7:19 (KJV)
For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
The solution is detailed elsewhere:
John 3:1-18 and Romans 10:9-13 in a King James Bible.
2006-09-29 10:41:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you heard the line from a song "you hurt the ones you love?" If you love someone, then you 1) feel a certain amount of trust around them that they will still love you no matter what you do; or 2) You are subconciously testing them to see if they love you even when you are mean to them.
Children will often lash out at their parents (and be perfect angels with others) because they know deep down that their parents/family will love them no matter what. With maturity, that lessens. Try to stop and think about your words before you say them. Also, if you do say something hurtful, don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry." good luck!
2006-09-29 10:40:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can't say why "you" do this, but I can tell you why "I" did. I chased off a few really nice, decent guys doing the same thing, then kicked myself in the !@#$ for being that way. Then one day I started thinking about "why?" I realized it was because I had been really hurt by someone long ago, and didn't want to be hurt again. So even though I met and really liked these "nice" guys, my rude little defense mechanism would pop up, and I ended up running them off with my insults. I had to practice "not" being that way, because I finally met "the one" and there was no way I was going to run "him" off! That was almost 20 years ago....Good luck.
2006-09-29 10:50:41 · answer #5 · answered by Republican!!! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take some time to yourself. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Or do some thing nice for him. I'm a horribly mean person, and I made my husband breakfast in bed this morning. He got scared. I'm evil so often, that it makes him paranoid when I do anything nice. Buy him a nice gift or something to say you're sorry. I hope you have an understanding man.
It also could just be your hormone levels. There's also something called Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder(PMDD). If you can't act decent towards him, talk to your doctor.
2006-09-29 10:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by tumadre 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing went I went through menopause. I became angry for no reason when prior to all of this I was very happy. This is a stage, in a woman's life, we all go through and no one has exact answers for us. Doctors have told me "I can't tell you what to expect because it is different for every woman". If you really love the guy - then sit down and talk with him about this. Some men understand and others are as confused about it as most women are.
2006-09-29 10:39:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears too me your afraid of getting hurt so you drive the ones you like and respect away by your actions. Actually this is a form of paranoia, in my opinion.
Depending on your age you may want to seek professional help. If your a student talk to a counselor otherwise see a Doctor.
My apologies if I appear rude however there are so many form of depression that may affect your attitude.
2006-09-29 10:47:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people ask for advice when they already know the answer and they wish they didn't. Stop being mean and selfish, remind yourself of how you treated him before you were so close, why did you treat him good then? Intimacy is not an excuse to forget good manners. I hope the best for you.
2006-09-29 10:37:50 · answer #9 · answered by juniper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't get the question-it sounds more like a rant to me. not being mean but it seems to me that you already know the reason why but want someone else to get you to admit it.
why you so mad at the world? you tell us-we can't read your mind.
2006-09-29 10:42:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋