My boyfriend tries to befriend his exes, they tell me he's trying to hook up,do i trust him? I'm confused.

Question

This has happened about 4 times. This is the first relationship I want to keep. I usually have no problem moving on but I want to marry this man. I think I'm being confused because I care so much but I dont want to get played. I supported him thru fire training. I was there when he had no job and no future. I put a year into this relationship and I dont want to throw it away on some chics who want to come between us. He says we're engaged but I have trouble believing he tells these women that he's engaged. HELP!

Answer 1

I believe if a man is not telling other women that he's taken and is in a serious relationship he's not ready to move forward in his life. He's supposed to be engaged which should be a clear sign to women that he's NOT available. Unfortunately we live in a time where we don't even respect someone who's married and see that a married man or woman IS off limits and that you are disrespecting that person, their relationship and to his spouse or significant other. Your boyfriend sounds to me like he's got a problem telling the women he used to date that he's engaged to be married and that him having contact with them is disrespecting his relationship and to you as his significant other. Sometimes men give mixed signals which is not good either because he's not being clear about what he's saying when he's doing one thing and doing the total opposite. A real man would have checked females trying to ride up in his relationship letting them know that he's not interested and that should be the cue for the woman to move on. It's not about throwing the relationship away, but how would he like it if you were befriending your ex boyfriends he wouldnt like it and demand you stop being friends with them, but at the same time he can't even do the same with his. An ex is an EX for a reason and if people can't draw the line with them how is it fair that they can drag their soon to be spouses and spouses through the mud with this. If he can't tell you why he's being friends with them and give you a logical answer I don't like saying this, but you need to reconsider whether staying with him is a good idea. Your guy has no idea that he's got a good woman in his life and that you don't tolerate the disrespect of other women coming into your relationship. If you don't nip this in the bud now he'll be having them around when you're married and that's crossing the line at that point. One time is too many it shouldnt have happened at all.

Answer 2

Unfortunately in life there are people who are going to despise you for no apparent reason! lol. From what I hear you are very bright, and from what I see you are a pretty girl. Don't let that b*tch get to you. Just ignore her rude comments and looks and make your boyfriend adore you more (which wouldn't be that hard)! Don't do ANY favors for her, don't kiss her *** anymore, she isn't worth any of your time. Just when you are over their house or something if she says hi say hi and if she asks how schools going say: it's doing great (no further detail! she may feel that you are bragging too much idk tho) just give her short answers and talk to your boyfriend the most. Prove that you are better than her. If she gets even more bitchy you may want to talk to your boyfriend and tell him how much you love him and how he means the world to you and how you do not want rude remarks getting in the way of your love for him. You know what I think, maybe she is too afraid that YOU are going to be WAY more accomplished than her son, I know thats kinda mean but she is probably old fashioned and believes that the man should have a better job than the woman. Maybe she feels that the other woman would make her son look more of a success than you would (I mean you are going to become a doctor and she is going to become a physical therapist, hello!)

Answer 3

I know it sucks, but if he is being to friendly with the other chicks then don't trust him. I will be worse for you in the end. I used to think I was going to marry my first love. People would tell me he is cheating on me, but I didn't want to believe it. I really loved him. But 7 years later, lets just say I caught him cheating on me and that was the end of us. You might not want to throw away 1 year, but can you imagine throwing away 7 years, or even a marriage. It's not worth it. And he obviously don't respect you enough. Move on, it might be hard, but it will b worth it later. Good luck.

Answer 4

I am kind of in the same situation and i feel like it's a trust issue. If you had trust in you boyfriend then you wouldn't be asking this question. So you don't trust him and you shouldn't be in a relationship without trust. He should be able to say something once and that's it because of the trust. Females are always going to try to interfere with other peoples relationships. Only the strong survive.

Answer 5

You tell us about all his bad doings and then say you dont want to lose him on some chics who want to come between you? which is it? I think you are being naive and blinded by your love for this shady man. Do you really think these 4 WOMAN are all conspiring to mess up your relationship? Get a grip...your man does NOT sound trustworthy.

Answer 6

omg!! tries to befriend all his exs, whoa he really needs to let them go and get on wife their own life's. Its okay if he says hi and how are you etc. He does not need to befriend them and yes you have put a lot of time into this relationship, have you tried to talk to him , i would be worried to and he needs to know who you feel. Maybe you need to tell these Chic's, that you are engaged and see what happens, and sweetie if its doesn't work out, move on, as it sounds like he really is to good for you. cheers good luck and god bless

Answer 7

I am afraid that your boyfriend sounds like a control freak. If I were you I would say stuff all the help I've given him and get out while you can. You'll probably feel hurt to begin with but you sound as if you deserve so much more than this creep. Good luck.

Answer 8

well it is quite odd that 4 ppl are telling you exactly the same thing about this guy, but still if you are struggling to trust him, think about it could you spend the rest of your life married to this guy having panic attacks whenever he goes out and you keep seeing (imagening) him sleeping his way around town dont torture yourself about this your best bet is that you could talk to him dont shout but you must get him in a relaxed mood and maybe start it off by " hey honey i ran into four of your exes today" but dont raise you voice, but on the other hand maybe these 4 girls are mates and they all want him to their selves so they cooked this up together again just talk to him because unless you are okay spending the rest of your life miserable and depressed you need to think about what you wanna do, but also remeber you gott look after number one sweetie you gotta make sure your in a right place to marry, good luck hun!

Answer 9

Hi, well if all the girls are telling you the same story then you can make your own mind up about him. Yes most boyfriends stay friends with there ex's but thats it a hiya when he sees them they dont have direct contact with him. Unless all girls are mates of each others then they could be trying to brake you to up. But if the other girls dont know each other and they are telling you the same story then. Its up to you. IBut its obvious you dont trust him. He could be taking you for a mug because he knows you will do anything for him and he can use you.

Answer 10

Be glad you found out before marrying this jerk! Trust me, he's NOT telling these women that he's engaged. He likes the attention and whatever else he's getting from the situation. Do yourself a favor and cut your losses! There is someone out there who will appreciate you and be honest with you. This one won't do either.