my bf and i have a 8 month baby girl together and hes also 32yrs.when he watches this nasty stuff i feel i'm not good enough for him anymore.the names of it are pre teen,and other names i can't even type because yahoo will tell me to change it. i wouldn't get any answers.thats how bad it is.what do i do?is this hurting our relationship?am i the crazy one?what's really going on?shouldn't he be a man and not a pig.why does he do this to me?i do anything and everything for him and i'm sick of it.
2006-09-29 09:16:30 · 16 answers · asked by justdaynjay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There are two issues here. The first is that he doesn't appear to respect you and your feelings on this issue. I don't think he needs to give up looking at porn all the time but he should respect your feelings and not be doing it around you and the kid or even taking time away from spending it with you and the kid just for the sake of looking at porn. The second is your feelings about porn. The truth is that men looking at porn is no reflection on the women they are with and love. They look at porn because they are curious and because men are visually stimulated. You could be the hottest looking girl and the best there is in bed but that wouldn't change anything. So don't let this reflect on you and make you feel less of yourself.
2006-09-29 09:20:47 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well You should except that this is something he enjoys watching. Secondly. I suggest you talk to him about how it makes you feel and explain your anger also Try and funnel where your anger is coming from is it BC the p0rn is "pre-teens" or simply because he enjoys watching other women naked involving sexual things or Are you just umcomfortable with Pornography ? Try to pinpoint it first then discuss it with him Maybe he will stop watching Or lessen the time he spends. If you just get angry and not say anything He may just ignore it and say "hormones" most men's favorite line. The best thing to do Is discuss this with him, Maybe Pull him away from the tv with ur own "playtime" maybe you are giving him less "playtime" since you had the baby?? Think about these things.
Hope I helped.
2006-09-29 09:25:57 · answer #2 · answered by stackininc 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You shouldn't have to put up with this if it makes you uncomfortable. You need to tell him how you feel about it and stand by your feelings no matter what kind of lame excuse he has. Tell him you don't feel he is respecting you or your child and it has to stop. You are not crazy to feel this way and this could very easily become a big problem in your relationship so take care of it now. Good Luck.
2006-09-29 09:24:47 · answer #3 · answered by S&M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
how often does he look at it? i know some men are more obsessed with it than others. he may have been used to it at a younger age or maybe was used to having to masturbate a lot. Maybe spicing up the sex life will get him away from it more often, but i know thats hard if you guys have a small baby. it might just be a rough spot. but if he watches it too much and its to the point that you all have no sexual life, he needs to seek professional help for the addiction.
2006-09-29 09:21:05 · answer #4 · answered by coochie1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The porno he is watching is called PRE-TEEN???? Honey, you had better watch out for your little girl and for the safety of the children around you.
Watching porn is no big deal to me (ADULT porn), but you are describing a pedophile either now or in the making!
Are there CHILDREN in these tapes??
I SERIOUSLY would report him to the police. I don't care if he was my husband.
Children are HORRIBLY Abused in these tapes, it is not legal and he's getting them from SOME where!!
2006-09-29 09:26:01 · answer #5 · answered by LittleBitOfSugar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sick enough to leave him over it?
(correct answer is, Yes)
Some guys are fascinated or addicted to porn and it controls their lives. But that's not your fault. (Men like to see women with little ot nothing on. that's just us. Sorry.)
However, surfing porn sites in front of you is a blatant lack of respect for you and your relationship.
You can not tolerate it or accept it.
No matter what you look like, he will still look at porn. Any decent guy will at least control himself and show some respect for you.
His actions might mean that he wants out of the relationship.
No matter what you do, you can not make him stop. He has to make himself stop and it looks like he doesn't want to.
Sorry to say, but it might be over. You are too hurt to let this go. And you have every right to be hurt, and pissed off too!
Bottom-line it for him: Get that crap out of the house or get the hell out !!!
Good Luck and God bless.
2006-09-29 09:36:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't stop getting upset. Yes, this probably is hurting your relationship. You are not crazy. Yes, he should be a man. If it's a shared computer, create a password that you keep to yourself, and block that stuff. If he asks you why, show him the baby.
2006-09-29 09:21:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it makes you feel like your not good enough. (My man and I went through this, and he hasn't looked at it in 3 years) Ask him to please stop, that it's hurting your self-esteem and how your willing to present yourself. Let him know that your willing to spice up your sex life, since you've probably been putting it off due to the baby. Suggest having him take dirty pictures of you, (on a digital camera so he can print them off instantly at wal-mart) make a home made porno, anything. You need to spice up your sex life, he's obviously not satisfied. Be the sex kitten you were when you first started hooking up. Good luck
2006-09-29 09:22:33 · answer #8 · answered by MaNdYb 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That bites! Have you tried to talk to him about this? If so and he wont change, most likely he wont. Yes its hurting your relationship because he deonst seem to care about you. Id suggest some councelling and if that doesnt work , then Id suggest leave. Are you living together? If he wont take better care of you and your child, then again, use the door. Tough decision, good luck!
2006-09-29 09:23:07 · answer #9 · answered by kevin T 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You shouldn't stop being upset. A guy should never look at porn while in a relationship.
2006-09-29 09:20:28 · answer #10 · answered by Josh 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋