If she ever reaches an orgasm among other psychological complications she'll have to face. Earlier I asked about the above situation. Her father/my husband & supports this procedure it & according to the Doc who specialized in treating such incidents her mother probably either did it or witnessed it happily b/c they think this makes a girl more marriageable in their anti-female society. I clearly said that her entire clitoris & labia had been removed. I’ve noticed that most of the individuals here that advise me NOT to attempt to get custody of her (based on this barbaric abuse) or who say “it’s best to just let her stay with her own culture” R MALE. What if I were an American male married to a woman from a matriarchal society that advocated cutting off the penis so that no feeling could be attained AND removing the testicles. If I were an American man trying 2 decide what to do about this, wld American men advise me the same way? I think not. What do you think?
2006-09-29 09:14:02 · 18 answers · asked by Kaitlyn 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
~Re: your comment to me in another question.
I don't get paid to be a simpleton. I do it for free. It's a hobby and I'm damn good at it, don't you agree. But, I am not married to a foreigner from whom I am separated and whose children I am caring for and whom I cannot understand if he chooses to speak to others, including the children, in my presence in his native tongue. As to the interactions between the kids, you fail to mention the culture from whence he came. It's an odds on favorite that it is a culture in which women are subservient and treated as little more than chattle. Perhaps the kids understand this and that explains the girls response/reaction to her brother's comments. If I'm correct, get used to it. You will be expected to act likewise, particularly in his homeland. Were I you, I would think twice about going to his home, especially if you have children with him. But, what do I know. I am, after all, the simpleton here.
As to this question, the "mutilation" you describe is a common practice in many Middle Eastern and African and Asian societies. However, the procedure involves the clitoris only, not the labia. If the girl has undergone the surgery, she will suffer no psychological trauma from experiencing orgasm as she will not be able to achieve orgasm. As to your "what ifs", they are moot. You will have to deal with the facts (and laws and customs as they exist). You chose to marry into the culture, or at least marry a man from it. You dealt yourself the hand, play it. If you were not aware of the customs, maybe you should have learned a little about your husband and his customs before you married him. As a simpleton, I know I would have.
As to the custody issue, you have a snowball's chance in hell of winning in his country and not much better here. Step-parents have extremely limited custody (or visitation) rights and the burden of proof is incredibly difficult to sustain. The "barbaric abuse" you describe, being a common and accepted norm in the culture where it was done (with the blessing of and at the request of the parents) will not begin to get your foot in the door. But again, that's just the opinion of an (amateur) simpleton. You obviously know better. After all, you're the one in this position. PTL
2006-09-30 14:02:46 · answer #1 · answered by Oscar Himpflewitz 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"What if I were an American male married to a woman from a matriarchal society that advocated cutting off the penis so that no feeling could be attained AND removing the testicles"
We already do the first half of this. It's called circumcision. Roughly 70% of the nerve endings in a males penis are in the foreskin. This is why I example female genital mutilation when I see these mothers asking about circumcision. If you wouldn't do this horrible thing to your girl, why would you do it to your boy? Female genital mutilation "supposedly" does the same things male genital mutilation does, oh it's cleaner, better, more attractive, less infections, etc. etc. etc.
America is no different than other cultures as long as circumcision (RIC) is being practiced without clear and definite medical reason.
Makes me sick, either way. Genital mutilation is genital mutilation no matter how you try to slice it or disguise it.
2006-09-29 09:26:28 · answer #2 · answered by sovereign_carrie 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Whatever they did to that girl was wrong. And that's what separates America from other countries like that. That little girl never had the choice and now she will need a strong role model and support. I know she might not know it at 10 yrs old, but when she has to start taking showers with the other girls(assuming she's in America)she will definitely know that she is different. If it is accepted in her culture, then I do not think she would be so affected by it if she was to grow up in that culture...and I read there are people telling you to not try and get custody but let me tell you, but would those people let anyone cut off their genetals??? And how would they feel if it was their son or daughter that had their genitals cut off. I don't think people are putting themselves in your shoes. Or even thinking about what type of life that little girl will live.
2006-09-29 09:25:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
you know there are some barbaric cultures out there in the world. Do men care what happens to women in other cultures? I don't think all of them do.
I am glad you have put up a fight for this little girl. I would love to see our country put more pressure on other countries that mutilate and abuse women.
There are no easy answers here. This little girl will grow up wondering why her culture and society chose to do this to her and why it is not done and other cultures.
I don't personally wouldn't care what anyone would think. You have to make the best decision for the child and yourself. I would have done the same thing.
Good Luck and Take Care
2006-09-29 09:28:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
An attempt to gain custody of this child should be immediately pursued. Once custody has been obtained seek the advice of a plastic surgeon as to possible restorative surgery and consult with a psychologist to deal with the emotional trauma this child has suffered. But . . . the father/your husband must be made to understand that this is child abuse and though the child is female she is not a second class citizen and should not be treated as such. Ask him should his culture demand that he be castrated would he arbitrarily let this be done.
2006-09-29 09:28:23 · answer #5 · answered by mzmscheeveeuhs 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think exactly what this child needs is a good, stable, loving home that will treat her like a normal person, because even though this tragic thing has happened to her, she is still a normal person, just has had different experiences then most other people she will know. If you can give her that then I not only recommend but ask that you adopt this little girl and give it to her. She deserves it.
2006-09-29 09:30:03 · answer #6 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is an actress who had this procedure done on her as a child. She moved to America as an adult, and has had reconstructive surgery to repair some of the damage. Perhaps you could look into this? If nothing else, she could be a role model and tremendous encouragement to your step-daughter as she matures and begins puberty. I can't find her name right now, but perhaps someone else remembers?
2006-09-29 09:27:53 · answer #7 · answered by mamaDee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This just breaks my heart. I can't answer this because I don't know how long you have been with her, or how close your relationship is. I would have moved heaven and earth to remain with my Dad because he was nuturing, and we were close. I divorced, and my younger daughter, who was close to my x, who was not her father, was devastated. How old is she? Is she old enough to make a choice in this matter? I would never have given up my kids, but I never dreamed what losing a polestar in a kid's life could do to a child 12 yrs. old. To me, it all depends on who the bond is with, and then ofcourse, what the law says about it. Others can't tell you what to do. Could you handle this responsibility? It's very difficult, especially with this kind of background. I'd fear for her. But it would all fall on you. How committed are you? Do what you believe is right, and best for you both. Good luck. I, in no way compare this to boys, because in my opinion, I think with boys it prevents disease. I would never be with a man who wasn't circumcized again, ever.
2006-09-29 09:26:40 · answer #8 · answered by noface 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
IN ADVANCE pardon my language, but THAT MOTHERF*CKER has to SLEEP sometime honey. wait till then, roll him in the sheets, and BUTCHER his SICK AS5!
then you find a nice church, and talk to the pastor/priest. given your circumstances, i'd say if not FREE room and board then you could do 'chores ' about the premises, and they'd have no prob with feeding and sheltering you and your children. BUT there is absolutely no excuse you can make that is adequate for staying where you are.
2006-09-29 12:37:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately its there beliefs. right or wrong its what they been doing for years and years to come. i think theres going to be lots of problems with her here. just be prepared its not going to be easy in anyway what so ever. so you need to make that committment noing things might not work out for the best.its going to be a long tought road. i hope this little girl comes threw all this with flying colors.just for the recird i wouldnt mind if we cut off there penises
2006-09-29 09:27:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋