2006-09-29 07:51:59 · 21 answers · asked by girly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if he truly loved you he would not of felt the need to cheat on you....if he loved you and he wanted to go somewhere else he would of told you...hes a loser that has no respect for you or your relationship....leave him you can do so much better
2006-09-29 07:55:14 · answer #1 · answered by kristyn m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank you for asking such an interesting question. It is quite sad to find oneself in such a position. In part, by telling you he loves you, he's asking to rebuild this relationship. He's asking for your trust oncemore...which is precisely what he has lost by betraying you. And, it is trust which, for now, will probably be the most difficult thing for you to give him even in the smallest measure.
In your heart of hearts, do you want this relationship to continue? If you don't, then there is no turning back, no undoing the wrong done, and nothing he says or does will mend what he has broken.
However, despite all the hurt you may be feeling right now, if you want this relationship to survive this crisis and perhaps to even recover and grow stronger; then you will have to extend your trust oncemore to him at some point. You have every right to be cautious. He has broken trust with you. It will take time to heal such a violation. The only way, however, that this situation has any hope is if you extend him just a small measure of trust for now, and then gradually more and more, until all is well. If you can't do this, then this relationship is over for all practical purposes. It will be a long time before you forgive, and you may never really forget what he has done. But if he is honest with you from now on, if he never violates your trust again, then at some point in the future, you will have to get over it. It all takes time and a willingness to try.
As to your question, while there are many men who have never cheated on their loved ones, the simple fact is it is possible for a man to cheat and to still love the person on whom he is cheating. Given the nature of the male sex drive, sex is a powerful force that can frequently drive a man to do stupid things. And, sex is something that is quite possible for many men without any implications regarding love. He could really love you and still find himself doing stupid, stupid things. Is it weakness? Absolutely. But it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Perhaps now that he has seen just how hurt you are, he'll remember this and resist temptation far better in the future.
If he appears sincerely sorry and is desperate to make things right with you, you might consider giving him one more chance. However, if he fails again, then you will know he can't be trusted to change his ways and will have every reason to dump him.
Good luck!
2006-09-29 16:23:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're the one that he has cheated on, then don't believe his words. Yes, men move on from past experiences and--yes--men learn, but what was done is done. He may feel that he loves you, but he is not in love with you. Analyze the situation by placing yourself in his position: when you are in love with someone, they are your ultimate. There is no one else you'd rather be with ,right? exactly my point. I say he's not that into you, and you deserve someone who will devote time to you just as you're devoting time right now asking people about his feelings for you. Aim higher. There's always something better out there, girl.
2006-09-29 15:03:16 · answer #3 · answered by Sophia's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can have many answers. In mine I'd have to say no. If he really loved you..he wouldn't have ever thought of cheating or hurting you. He's either too stubborn to break it off with you or he's not getting what he needs emotionally, physically ect. Like the typical guy..probably won't tell you that. In a way..also yes. If he's upset because you aren't giving him something ect. and has tried to tell you..then it'd be kind of hard to want to be with someone like that.
Guys won't wait forever..just like us girls. Even though breaking it off might be the better answer.
2006-09-29 14:59:45 · answer #4 · answered by Rozlyn P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say yes- people do make mistakes that they regret. There is a possibility that yes a man can love you and cheat on you. It isn't a GOOD demonstration of love though.
It is selfish, and disrespectful to you. For me depending on the circumstances UNforgivable. I would be white hot mad too!
2006-09-29 15:00:03 · answer #5 · answered by rottymom02 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may say that he loves you, but if he truly did, then he wouldn't have cheated in the first place. However, if you love yourself, you won't put up with that kind of crap and kick him to the curb. If you give in, he'll think that he can do it time and time again and get away with it by using the "I love you" excuse. Good Luck!
2006-09-29 14:55:32 · answer #6 · answered by blackwidow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are funny beast... Sometimes they cheat not because they don't love their pardner, but because of being successful in the chase.... it inflates their ego... gives them self-confidence, or so they think... It runs within the male species to hump anyone they can... He probably still loves you.. Start being hard to get, make him earn it, then he will feel an accompolishment.
2006-09-29 14:57:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can believe that he has love for you...yes! BUT...you can also believe that he cannot control his desire/need/drive to be with more than one woman. He may love you greatly...you may be the ideal person for him- but, his love for you is not able to prevent him from straying- so, you have to ask yourself if that's good enough for you or not.
Good luck!
2006-09-29 15:06:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can believe him-cheating doesn't mean he doesn't love you it just means he doesn't respect you. Can you live with that? Love and Respect are two different things.
2006-09-29 14:55:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure you can. Men aren't that deep. He can love you to bits and sleep with your best friend at the same time. In his mind, one has nothing to do with the other.
Question is, do you love him more than you love yourself to allow such a situation to repeat itself?
2006-09-29 14:55:29 · answer #10 · answered by Muffin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋