i want to know how to make my two year old son love me so much i wish to know what are the tactics of making him attached to me more than his mum by the way i aint jealous its also my right to know how to manipulate his mind and think of me also after all i am his father i think i got a right just like his mum or?
before he used to love me more but nowadays even if i dont talk to him he aint interested also if i pass him he doesnt recognize me am really desperate really please desperate father
2006-09-29 07:36:17 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think that you are miss-understanding what your son's needs are. Right now he needs his mom, as all babies do. He also needs you but, you need to find something that HE is interested in that you can participate along with his mother. Then as you make this activity a routine event you can have your wife slowly and discreetly sneak away still participating from a foot, then 2 feet, then 3 feet, and so fourth. Moving further and further daily till you can start the activity, with him on your own; with mom in another room. Read to him and play with him. Your time is more valuable to the child than any toy or candy. Also you can also start making yourself more available in his daily activities like diaper changes, potty training, meals, play time, trips to the park...
Remember not to smother him or his mother just be interested and helpful. Studies have shown that children are more emotionally balanced when BOTH parents take an active role in all daily activities (taking turns or doing more on your day off would be really good). The Oedipus complex is very real and will only get worse with age there will be a point that he will not want anything from you and he will not even let you touch HIS MOM. It is natural, do not be offended, and do not de rude or mean to him. After all the first woman he will know to LOVE will be his mother. The opposite is also true for daughters. I hope this helps good luck!
2006-09-29 08:42:44 · answer #1 · answered by larechiga26 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children go through many phases. If you are trying too hard to make him love you...do you not think he will pick up on that. Kids are not stupid. He will also pick up on the fact that you are competing with mom. That is immature and selfish. How about just be the best father you can be and stop worrying about petty stuff. Being a good father does involve thinking of the kids feelings also. It involves making sure that he has a good relationship with you AND mom. I have a step son who is six and I would never say anything about his mother around him. She may not be my favorite person, but I would NEVER want him to think bad about her. She is his mother, and he loves her. I want it to stay that way. Stop being so selfish and quit trying so hard to manipulate him.
2006-09-29 07:52:05 · answer #2 · answered by #3ontheway! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son needs both the love of his mother and his father with no strings attached. You can not "make" anyone love you nor can you control to what degree a person loves you. Your son is a person. At age 2, it is perfectly normal and acceptable for him to be more attached to his mother. As he gets older, it will be perfectly normal for him to become more attached to you. It is not your right to manipulate his mind. Just continue to interact with him in all ways. Talk to him, read him books, take him for walks, give him his bath, take him with you when you go to the store, let him help you fix things. It is unhealthy to require something from a 2 year old that he can not give you. It sets him up for failure and he will feel your disappointment, especially as he gets older. Speak to your wife about this, she may not be aware of how desperate you are. Take over some of the care she gives your son. My children always loved it when daddy did bath time because he let them play in the water more than I did. Develop your own bonding activities with your son. Go for a walk, just the 2 of you while mom makes dinner. Take over reading the bedtime stories. Your son does not love one of you more than the other, but he will go through stages where his needs are met more by one of you over the other. This is not a sign of his depth of love for either his mom or his dad. Take your focus off of how he makes you feel and focus on being the best husband and dad you can be.
2006-09-29 08:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key is spending more alone time with him. Take him to the park, give him his path, read to him before bed. These are the things mothers do with there children as a routine. That's why they tend to be more found of their mothers. When my husband is home my son pays no attention to him but when he leaves for work he wants his daddy. He knows the difference. He's not looking for daddy when he's at home because he knows he's there. This doesn't mean he doesn't love you and it's normal for you to feel this way. Try spending more alone time with him this will improve your relationship and show him how much dad loves him too.
2006-09-29 07:45:29 · answer #4 · answered by Curious J. 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its not something personal that the child has against you. And you can just forget about fathering and parenting an emotionally secure child if you think its your right and duty to control his mind and emotions.
Its natural for a two year old to be more independant. Toddlers and evey age group from there on less and less dependant and clingy to their parents. Its natural and needed for his healthy development.
He's not playing favorites. He see's his mother more often, or for some reason or another prefers her to all people. Children always prefer one parent to the other.
If you cant be subjective and be more concerned about the interaction you child needs, and less concerned about what you want out of him, you should not be trying to parent him.
Its your right as his father to provide him with the interaction and support he needs as he grows, not to have a battle of ego over who is more important and the favorite.
You cannot raise a baby into a man, if you act and reason like a child yourself. You have to be the adult and realize its about your child and his needs, not you and yours.
2006-09-29 07:41:29 · answer #5 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
my son is barely 18 months previous... so its fairly close. yet hes fairly hyper too. Devon - my son has voluntary listening to. If i call for him he wont come to me, or if hes doing something incorrect and that i say no he keeps doing it. Your son is sorting out to work out how a strategies he can push you. you are going to be stern with him, and enable him be attentive to whos the boss... Im particular that's a point hes dealing with yet dont enable him think of its ok to bounce on the fixtures and throw toys. My son- whilst he's taking part in won't enable me carry him the two- and if i take a toy removed from him he throws a in superb condition screaming and then he pounds his head on the floor and complicated too! I hate showing him my reaction and telling him no or taking something removed from him becasue I dont prefer him to wreck himself. The Dr informed me to do what i could do and enable him get offended. Its ok to punish your toddlers or tutor them the regulations whilst they're this youthful- If he's misbehaving and not listening tutor him there are effects. positioned him in his mattress room for 2 minutes. age=minutes. some could disagree with this and Im sorry, each discern has there own thank you to instruct there toddlers. wish this helps.
2016-10-01 12:19:52 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make ANYONE feel something for you they don't. As far as your son, of course he is closer to his mother right now, she is his MOTHER his "security", he is only two years old, you are expecting the emotions of a teen, sounds to me as if the father needs to grow up and get some parenting skills.
2006-09-30 23:44:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your child probably senses the neediness in you. Children of this age are only just coming to grips with their own feelings let alone an adults.
An adult out of control, which it sounds like you are, is a very insecure situation for a child. Love is supposed to be unconditional on both parts.
He probably sways towards the mother because she doesn't make these emotional demands on him, just lets him be himself, and at one with his own feelings without asking for something back, which you are.
i think you need to find out who you are to discover why you have to rely on another persons validation to make you whole.
2006-09-29 07:48:46 · answer #8 · answered by flumoxed 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have no rightto manipulate the mind of anyone and you have no right to with a child. If you do he will grow up to hate you. Your child will love you if you love and understand them, be kind and giving. You have to understand having children is not a game it is a life and they have the right to love whoever, it sounds to me like your kid has his head screwed on unlike his faher!!!!
2006-09-29 07:45:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dude, seriously. Children go through phases. Mommy this mommy that. And then want nothing to do with Daddy. Then a few weeks later it's Daddy, Daddy Daddy....and they don't want anything to do with Mommy. Kids do this. It's an on and off phase of theirs and they will do it the rest of their lives. Get used to it.
2006-09-29 07:44:48 · answer #10 · answered by jevic 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋