I've heard of picky eaters, but this is ridiculous!?

Question

My 2 1/2 year old son, about a month ago, has become incredibly picky at dinner time. He'll eat breakfast and lunch with no problem, but he REFUSES to eat what I make for dinner. I'm a good cook, if I do say so, and I know the food is good and he likes it (he's eaten everything I make before). We tried cutting out his afternoon snack, but he became miserable and cranky and still refused to eat dinner. I know he's hungry because he asks for a PB&J every night. I'm tired of giving him that--he needs to eat what we have. I tried letting him go to bed hungry one night, but gave in after an hour of screaming that he was hungry, and throwing his dinner (same thing I offered him earlier in the evening) on the floor. Also, he will not TOUCH vegetables. I really can't tell you the last time he ate any vegetables--he won't even try a tiny bite of something to see if he likes it. He will eat any/all fruits, but no vegetables. What can I do? Do kids outgrow this?

Answer 1

I would like to say that most kids do out grow this. I would NOT give him what he wants but tell him that dinner is dinner. I know it is hard for a parent to do that, but if he is hungry then he will eat it. My b/f has a child who will not eat anything unless its what she wants. I hate it. I'm the cook in the family and I make 2 dinners every night. Its very overwhelming and aggravating only to see 1/2 of it in the trash anyways. You will only make for bigger problems if you give in now. Hes trying to play you and see how far you will go till you give into what he wants. Good luck and stay strong!!

Answer 2

Don't show it is such a big deal for you, he reacts to that. No kids eat veg, I can assure you I ate no veg as a kid, I loved fruit, and now I am almost a vegetarian - I enjoy all vegetables anyway. Also, the fact that you are a good cook doesn't mean he likes the specific things. I am a good cook also, but I doubt kids would like my food. Try making things he likes most for dinner, at least for the time being. If you say he used to eat those things, then it is psychological. Don't pressure him, make it look casual, or like play. Ask him to "help" you cook, and then I suppose he'll enjoy trying what he "made". And yes, he'll outgrow it. have you seen any grown up refuse dinner?

By the way, he doesn't refuse to eat as I understand, he just wants to eat that PB&J! What is that?

Answer 3

There are certain things only the child can control: When to go to the bathroom, when to sleep, when to speak, and when to eat. These are things that cannot be forced. If you insist, he will resist.

Remember that children cannot be expected to eat only three large meals a day. They need to eat 5 or 6 small meals (4 crackers, and 4 pieces of cheese. A small bowl and macaroni and cheese and a small salad. Half and apple and a few carrots.) Their stomachs are about the size of their fists.

Try taking him to the market and offer him choice within your limits. "Should we have pasta or chicken for dinner? Should we have carrots or potatoes?" Have him help get the items and put them in the cart.

He can also help prepare the meals: Wash the potatoes, cut up carrots, make a sandwich, make a salad.

Have him start a fruit and vegetable garden. He can plant carrots, potatoes, corn, tomatoes, cucumbers, beans...He can tend to this garden and you can have him "Go pick some tomatoes for the salad."

I have taught preschool for 12 years and the children choose what to make for snack, prepare the snack, and tend to a garden. Their parents are always very surprised to see the food their child eats at school. Children who are given a choice and help prepare a meal are more inclined to eat. Good luck!

Answer 4

Most children go through a stage where they choose a single food, refusing to consume anything else. We call it "The Food of the Month/Day/Week". It is frustrating, irritating, and can downright make you mad!

The first step is to offer a variety of foods at breakfast and lunch, all nutritious and filling, so that you can be sure your son is getting enough nutrients. It is important that he get the vitamins and minerals he needs.

Next, the "Positive Discipline" series of books might help you out. There are certain things that you can NOT force another person to do.....Eat, Sleep, and Toilet. You cannot force anyone, regardless of age, to do any of these things without medicating them. That doesn't mean it's pointless to try and you should give up. It just means you have to understand that your son is going to be the one to make this decision. You can try to change his mind, but ultimately, it's his choice.

A few helpful hints are as follows.....

1-Try serving food in a fun way. Make faces on the plate. Dye eggs different colors. Try to make it amusing.
2-Don't make a big deal about it. The more you get upset or angry, the more control your child sees himself having. Act calmly, as if it really doesn't matter to you whether he eats or not.
3-If this is truly important to you, for him to eat what he was given, then don't give in. A child who is hungry will eventually eat. You might explain to him, calmly, that tonight's dinner is meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and peas. That is all there is to eat. Either eat it, or don't.

I give my son his dinner, each night, at the table with the rest of our family. I cut it into bite size pieces, and give him his own cup and silverware, even though he doesn't know how to use a spoon yet. I simply say "Here's dinner, it's so yummy, you eat whatever parts you want". He normally cleans his plate.

Also, remember that your child doesn't need to eat much. A toddler size portion is about 1/4 of an adults. 1/4 piece of toast, 1/4 cup of cereal or pasta, 2tbsp of a vegetable. It doesn't seem like a lot, but remember that his stomach is only about the size of his fist!

Toddlers need the following amounts of nutrients, daily, to help you be sure he's eating enough....

1220 calories
16 g protein
45 g fat
325-1000 mg Sodium
40 mg Vitamin C
400 ug Re Vitamin A
800 mg Calcium
10 mg Iron
10 mg Zinc
50 ug Folate

An example of what a toddler might eat in one day is as follows...

2-3 cups milk
4 tbsp fruits and veggies
1 adult serving of grain
1 ounce meat

So....a cup of milk, 3 times a day, 3 small grapes, 4 bites of applesauce, 15 peas, 1 baby carrot, half a piece of toast, 10 cheerios, 5 bites pasta, and a slice of ham.

If your son is eating at least that much, I wouldn't really worry over it.

Answer 5

He is doing this because he KNOWS that you will give in and he will get what he wants. Kids are relentless and have no problem being stubborn / irritating...etc even at their own expense...because of the fact that you will give in. I would give him a little of what is for dinner and then tell him this is what we are eating and when you finish this, then Mommy will fix you a pb&j and a snack (see smoothie below)...and only give him 1/2 a sandwich...unless he is a big eater...vegetables are hard...try giving him frozen vegetables...or carrots / celery w/ peanut butter...there are a million different ways to give him vegies...try fozen vegies with frozen fruit and make him smoothies...great way to give brocolli...my kids never knew the difference...use some type of citrus or strawberries / pineapple is good and it will overpower the taste of the fruit...he will never know the difference and if you make it thick enough...it will almost be like sorbet...or sherbert if you will....and totally fat free!

Answer 6

I surely hope so. My 4 year old daughter refuses to eat hot dinner. She always has. I've tried encouragement, eating charts, sitting for over an hour while she just looks at it, even went through a phase of making her put it in her mouth, she just spat it out. My son who's a year older eats brilliantly, and always has. I worry she'll end up being drip fed or something. But she's healthy and although she's small, she's not skinny. I blame my mother in law who weaned her, and wouldn't give her the foods I gave her. (I weaned my son) I'm always trying different foods with my daughter, she lives on bananas, cereal and yogurt. I have found the older she gets I can bargain with her however, and getting her to eat chicken, so she can have an ice cream (her favourite) So my advice is patience and try raw veg. I give my daughter, carrot sticks and cucumber sticks. Raw vegetables have just as much goodness.

Answer 7

My 4 year old is notoriously picky also. He doesn't eat veggies, and not even many fruits. Right now, it's a power struggle with you. What he eats is the one thing he can truly control, so he's gonna do so. Give him some vitamins, keep offering all the healthy variety of foods, but make sure something that he likes is part of the menu, even if it is PB & J. He'll be okay, you just have to take the fun of it away (which is your reaction to his pickiness). He's pushing your buttons, and he knows it, lol. We mommies worry so much about our babies being healthy and eating a good variety of foods, but truth is we really don't have the control of what they'll eat...only they do, so let him have the control, don't react, and it might just get better sooner than later.

Answer 8

I have a 2 1/2 yr old grandson and he too became picky and refused to eat what was given to him, many times we have to guess what he will eat. One thing we have learned is he loves chicken fingers or nuggets and fries (no tater tots, he won't eat them) and that is usually what he has because he will eat it and he does get a good breakfast and lunch. As for trying different things, on occasion I will hold his nose until he opens his mouth and I will pop a piece of fruit or a veggie piece in his mouth, if he likes it he will put more of it in his mouth and if he doesn't, he will not touch any more of it. Sometimes all you can do is experiment, you know, trial and error.

Good Luck

Answer 9

He'll out grow it. My little sister went through a phase where all she wanted was fried okra. Nothing else, no meat, no dairy, no fruit, just fried okra. It was odd.

I went through a phase where I hated any meat except chicken or fish(I was actually 13-17, lol, but I did grow out of it).

Kids go through these stages, and if you're using low sugar peanut butter and jelly it shouldn't hurt him too bad. Just make sure he gets a glass of milk with it too(which I know that you already know, I'm just rambling).

Have you tried giving him apple slices with pb&j mixed together as a dip? Maybe veggies with ranch to dip them in?

It's been a few years since I've really had to deal with a toddler, so I can't remember a lot, and my son is only 6months, so he's not all that picky.

Answer 10

I'm no expert, but he needs to eat what he is given. Of course a 2 year old is going to say he wants PB&J. That's why 2 year olds don't buy groceries: they aren't adults and don't have the appropriate decision making skills. It's up to you. Don't be afraid of a little crying and screaming. Of course it's obnoxious, but kids learn very quickly to use noise as a weapon to get what they want.