what to do about my mother in law?

Question

my son has asthma, so we dont allow anyone to smoke in our house! She told us that if she cant smoke in our house then she isnt coeming over! I said fine! I mean everyone else doesnt have a problem with the rule, after all it's my sons health. She is being rude about the whole thing saying whats the big deal, and smoke isnt goin to kill him! That remark pi$$ed me off even more! Is there anythin I can do about it or just let her stay away?
What would u all do? I am trying to keep my son healthy why doesnt she understand?

this is not my id I used amys so that my mother in law could possibly see what i asked about....lol..
I told u all this incase u checked into amys stuff...lol....yeah she's got probs and I didnt want u all to think I was her, cause I am def. not into that stuff...

just so ya'll know my hubby the one that told her cause he knew how I felt! So he's on my side with this...lol...woo hoo

Answer 1

Ok, first of all you were sooo right in your decision. She cant smoke in your house. First of all, athsma is not the only excuse to not let someone smoke in your house. That is irrelivant. Even if no one had athsma, dont let no one smoke in your house anyway!. Gross! It makes your funiture stink, it make everyone around have to sit and choke on that stuff. This is her problem, not yours. If she wants to see your family she can stop smoking for 5 minutes and then go inside.

Answer 2

It does sound as if your mother-in-law is being very unreasonable. I'm a smoker but I always respect people wishes when it comes to this area. I understand that smoking is a very bad habit, but it's also very hard to quit. I would give her time to calm down and think about the issue, then if you want to invite her back into your home possibly designate an area outside for her to smoke, such as a place in the garage and give her some literature on the effects of smoking and asthma, it may be that she is just that ignorant on the topic. Good luck and I wish you and your son the best.

Answer 3

My family member smokes and has smoked for years even though she now has serious health problems and it doesn't help her. One thing for sure though, she is respectful of other people. When she goes to someone's home she does not light up and I think your mother-in-law is being totally unacceptable saying that she will not come over because you outlaw smoking in your home. Whether or not your child has asthma in my opinion smoking should be not be done in the home anyway. Second hand smoke kills just as viciously, I would definitely bring to her attention that though you and your family care for her deeply it is your choice beyond anything else. Bottom line, after she simmers down if she still doesn't come over then just let it be and keep her in your prayers. There is no need to back down when it is your own home sweetie...it is your health and your family's health that you are taking into consideration, that is what is most important. Prayers =)

Answer 4

Stick to your guns. If she doesn't want to follow your rules while in your house, let her stay away. She will end up missing her grandson and coming around. When she does, make sure you re-enforce the fact that she has to smoke outside.
I had the same rule in my house. Try driving somewhere with a smoker, having to stop every ten minutes so she could puff her face off, made for a llllllooooonnnnnnggggg trip.
Good luck

Answer 5

First of all its YOUR house. If you don't smoke in your house NO ONE else should. I just quit smoking recently, but when I did smoke I didn't smoke in my own home, always on the patio out back. No one visiting had a problem with this rule. But you should also tell her, your son WILL NOT be around ANY smoke so that means not ever going to her house. So she can choose between her cancer sticks or her grandchild. Seems simple enough to me. Do not back down, your son's health is too important. And if you want to tell her I said so (like it matters) YES CIGARETTE SMOKE CAN KILL HIM YOU STUPID B*ITCH

Answer 6

Let her stay away! If she can't not smoke for the well being of her own grandson, then she doesn't deserve to see him. And does she not watch tv or read anything, second hand smoke CAN kill!!!!!!!!

What a B*tch! I don't even know you or have children of my own and I am outraged! I wouldn't even give her the time of day. And even if your son did not have asthma, what gives her the right to smoke in someone else's home!!!!!! Just b/c you smoke doesn't mean everyone else has to be exposed to it!!!!!

Good Luck hun!

Answer 7

your mother in law is being very very petty. if she was concerned in the least bit about her grand son she would not ? it at all. you are being protective in a very good way. just keep the rule as is NO SMOKING IN THE HOUSE. my daughter is having her first child in a few months. i smoke and i already know their will be no smoking in her house.. but, too me big deal. ill go out side or in the garage. i want too spend time with the new baby and be their for my daughter .. so stick too your rules. she is no different from any one else.

Answer 8

First off your house your rules!!!! And my god its for her grandchild's health cant she just step out side and smoke? And I'm sure she understands but mother-in-laws tend to go against what the daughter in-law has to say... Go to my Q&A and read my question about my mother-inlaw I recived a great amout of answeres that were helpful so maybe they can help you too!!!! good luck with her and keep your feet down on this one it's for your own childs well being.......

Answer 9

tell her next time you are going to take her to the doctor she can come and see how bad things can get have the doctor tell her.the what does your husband say about it if he says the same thing he needs to tell his mom no more if he is on the side of his mom tell him to grow up and be a man and ask him if he wants to see his son die i am sure he will be say no then tell him no more i know the kids need there grandparents in there life but if she cant follows the rules then you are not wanted in this house i know it is not fun for you but you are a mom and looking out for your son at least you will be able to see your son grow up

Answer 10

Monster-in-laws are pretty fickle creatures. It sounds to me like she is trying to throw her weight around and get you to cave in to allowing her to smoke in your house. However, do not let her. Your child's health should always come first. If she is too ignorant to understand that, then to hell with her. Let her stay away. She'll eventually get the picture that you aren't going to budge on your decision. Also, I would be pretty angry too if she made the same remark to me. Lucky for her, she is your mother-in-law and not mine.