Should I keep her?

Question

I have a problem. I have 2 cats, litter mates. Boy and girl. I love them both but the boy and I are very close. The girl and I have a distant relationship. She is sweet occassionally but I can not pick her up or even have her next to me with getting scratched. I can not clip her nails without getting shredded. She is afraid of everything. I have her because when I was waiting for the boy to get old enough to take from his mom, my friend could not find a home for his sister. He begged me and repeatedly pleaded that I take the girl too. I refused for most of the nine weeks I was waiting but at the last minute I gave in as she had no immediate home and I thought it would be ok. But now it is 1.5 years later and I have tried to give her a loving affectionate home. But the older she gets the weirder she gets and I feel ridiculously guilty and as if I am a bad person but what can I do?

Should I keep a cat that I can not even get close too without getting scratched most of the time?

Answer 1

She sounds like a classic female. Really, it's not unusual at all for female cats to be more aloof than males. Our male is WAY more affectionate and needy than our female. She isn't aggressive, though....and it sounds as if your female is. This could be because of many things. She may be able to sense that you didn't really want her to begin with. Animals know when they're not wanted...especially cats. Judging by the way you're speaking here, you've probably always paid more attention to and loved on the male more than you have the female. It would be the same way if you treated two children this way; the one you doted on would be oh-so-loving, while the one you didn't want would grow resentful, untrusting, and moody. I know that you TRIED to provide a loving home for her, but it doesn't sound like your heart was totally in it when it came to her...and she's always known it.

Since you don't want her anyway, try finding a good home for her. There's no use in continuing to put both of you through this. She CAN be trained to overcome the scratching and aggressivness, but would probably be better off being trained in that are by someone who actually wants her.

Answer 2

If her and the other cat get along good than I think that you should keep her because your boy cat will probably be very upset to lose his sister. This can be quite tramatic for cats. Maybe you should try and do extra nice things for her like feed her tuna out of your hand and give her lots of treats. If you bring her to a humane society she has a chance of being euthanized..you would be very suprised to know that even young cats get euthanized. If you choose to get rid of her make sure that you find her a GOOD home on your own dont take her to a shelter.

Answer 3

You're not a bad pet owner. Animals have distinct personalities. She obviously has some issues. My cat had some issues like that, but over time he got much better. There were times I thought I'd have to get rid of him, but now his is a sweetie pie. Try playing with this kitty to help gain trust. Don't force your affection on her, she has to want it. As for clipping the claws, I straddle my cat between my legs (in a kneeling position) to hold him in place to clip his claws. If he's bitey, I give him a toy to bite on while I clip his claws) Over time, my cat has come to accept claw-clipping time without a fight. Trust and affection takes time with some cats - you have to have patience. If you give up the cat it may go to a bad home, or be put to sleep. There must be some redeaming qualities? Have patience, you will be rewarded!

Answer 4

Hey,
I had a cat who was the same way. I got her when she was about 4 weeks old. Some of my friends (I was 10) had rescued her from her mother who had killed the rest of the liter (more than likely right in front of her). So we took her and she grew up to be a very independent cat. She had long white fur which was bad because she wouldn't even let anyone brush her.

We couldn't touch her, brush her, or anything. When she was about years old though she started allowing my live in grandmother to touch her and would even hop in her lap from time to time. All I'm saying is she's not on of those "people" cats.

She likes to be left alone. With my cat we just let her be her. It's frustrating but cats are like that sometimes. I think over time she will get closer to you, but stop trying to clip her claws (I tried it once with my very affectionate cat and she ran from me and I couldn't find her all day). Let her be herself and accept her and love her even more.

Answer 5

Find her a good home. She may be one of those cats that, even though she is with her brother, wants to be an only cat. She could have also sensed that you really didn't want her there. Don't just take her to the pound, find a good home for her. If it's been over a year, she isn't going to lighten up.

Answer 6

well, alot of people are giving away so many animals for no reason and theyre not being adopted & theyre just being put to sleep, so if u are at least willing to take care of her as far as food, shelter then u dont need the cat to like u, but chances r if u dont want her try to find a good home if u cant find a home & u give it to a shelter it most likely wont live.... adult cats have a harder time getting adopted than kittens

Answer 7

I have three cats. Two are sisters from the same litter and the third is two years younger and not related. I call the youngest the wicked step sister. I have had this cat for 9 years now and she hates me. She is hidden and sleeping during my awake hours and comes out at night to feed and socialize with the cat community. She seems to like scrambled eggs as she comes to me and yelps when I am cooking them. She also comes out when treats and cat nip are being distributed. She keeps her distance, but shows herself. I have not been able to clip her nails in 9 years, yet they are fine. ( I have had an opportunity to check them) When I do get a hold of her, she loves to be pet and have attention payed to her, but she is just frightened and apprehensive. At play time, she chases the laser light, but she just doesn't care for me.
My concern is that she gets along with her housemates, who out number me, and she does. If you get rid of this cat, I am sure her brother will go through a depression and be lonely. I would suggest you keep her if she is getting along with her sibling and not causing any problems to the pet population. Getting rid of her may do more harm than good in that aspect.
I know how you feel in not having her accept you, but as long as she isn't purposely coming to you in the night and ripping your face off, then leave her be, for her brother's sake.

Answer 8

Sometimes it takes a while for a cat to warm up to you! I have 2 cats...they are littermates as well. One is super affectionate while the other is a bit of a scardy cat and a little paranoid. Theyre 2 years old and I am FINALLY able to walk up to the timid one without her freaking out!!

Answer 9

If you can find a good home for her, you should give her away. However, if you can't, you should keep her because you don't want her put to sleep at the animal shelter. After all, whether you like her or not, she is still the sister of your beloved cat.

Answer 10

Take her to the humane society or to a no kill shelter. They could probably find a loving home for her.