My brother, who I love and want to be happy is marrying this girl who he has only known for a few months... which is fine, but he is 22 and she is 33 with two kids by seperate dads and been married twice and never married one of the kid's dads... I love him a want him to be happy, but she has already lied about being pregnant and is already telling her youngest child that he is her father. Well the inconsiderate part is mine and my husband's 5 year wedding anniversary is the weekend before their wedding and I asked them not to schedule it on that date because we wanted to go out of town and we never got a honeymoon. Were not going now cause we cant call in to work two weekends in a row. Now they also scheduled her shower that same weekend, that sunday afternoon, should we cut our weekend short and I go, or put my foot down. This is something that goes on alot, he is the golden older son but he is the screwup sometimes, but I am the one with it together but am still always second
2006-09-29 06:58:23 · 9 answers · asked by wtrmlnqueen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If I were you I would prioritize like this #1 Make sure I atteded my brothers wedding followed by #2 My anniversary celebration. Her bridal shower would be the last priority.
2006-09-29 07:21:10 · answer #1 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I am understanding your statement; this is my answer (opinion :) ) If you and your husband have already planned a weekend out of town and can't make it back to the shower that Sunday then I would just tell my brother that I wouldn't be able to be there. I personally, couldn't hurt my brother's feelings, but your brother might not think nothing of it. Then you could join in all the festivities of the wedding weekend. Sometimes you got to swallow your pride and do what is "right" even it means waiting to do what you want you want. It all depends on the relationship between you and your brother. It sounds like you might have some resentment built up due to the fact that you have a good thing going and no one takes the time to realize it. Just remember the bigger person takes the high road and in the end you will be blessed double. Good Luck.
2006-09-29 14:06:45 · answer #2 · answered by GreeneyedCowgirl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go to your brother and talk to him. Forget scheduling differences, he's headed for disaster.
You may want to do this as an intervention with your mom and dad, his best friend and anyone else who has legitimate concerns. Just three or four chosen people whose opinion he will respect.. Do get together and write down what you each will say. Take the notes with you and read from them, every person, one at a time.
Start by asking him to please hear you all out and to just listen until each person has had their say. Tell him you have every intention of honoring whatever decision he makes, but that you would like for him to hear you all out.
Bgin by telling him what it is that you love about him. Calmly and factually tell him why you are concerned and suggest another option for him at this time. ONLY suggest that he put the marraige on hold. Do not even consider forcing him to make a decision to leave her. Be sure that is clear in the conversation. Just trust that that part will come. If he starts to object when he sees where this is going remind him that he promised to just hear you out, nothing more. You can make a lifetime difference for your brother. Then see about a honeymoon for you.
2006-09-29 14:38:46 · answer #3 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Golden child, huh? Sounds like your real problem is with resenting your brother. "I am the one with it together, but I am always still second." Sounds like you are still vying with your brother for attention.
You and your husband work weekends. You can't get off two weekends in a row, so give your brother your regrets. You can't expect him to change his plans for you. OR just ask your employers. What can they say except no? They can't fire you for asking. Tell them about the two events.
As for the shower, it doesn't fit in your schedule. You don't sound like you enjoy your sister-in-law to be anyway, so why put yourself through her shower? Give her a gift in advance if you feel compelled to do so.
Enjoy your anniversay and work on your relationship with your brother. That seems to be the real problem.
2006-09-29 14:07:35 · answer #4 · answered by Chris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing I ever heard was spoken by a minister at a wedding. In addressing the guests, he said they were not there to see "the show" but to give their love and support to the couple. Given your future sister-in-laws behavior, I, too, would have a hard time supporting such a union. So you might not want to worry about scheduling that weekend.
2006-09-29 14:10:13 · answer #5 · answered by Angela B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This pretty simple - if want to have a long-term relationship with your brother - you go to his events.
If you're tired of his disregard for your feelings and want to risk you relationship with him - take your trip.
2006-09-29 14:03:22 · answer #6 · answered by RT 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i totally see where your coming from but you really should attend, you dont want your brother to hold that over your head. good luck
2006-09-29 14:01:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would give you a good answer but there is too much reading involved. Sorry.
2006-09-29 14:01:37 · answer #8 · answered by david 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't go..... you don't like her anyway, enjoy your anniversary.
2006-09-29 14:02:25 · answer #9 · answered by lildemon78 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋