I miscarried in August, pregnancy was a surprise, by that I mean I was that .1 percent that got pregant on birth control. Well I know numerous people that are pregnant and everyone wants to come to me to talk about their pregancies whether it is questions. concerns or just plan relationship problems. At first I was open, but now it has gottent to be too much and I realized I really wanted my child that I miscarried and no one sees that. I was one of those people that was like I have a child my fiance has a two we don't want anymore, but once we got pregnant we warmed up to it. We are currently trying and we haven't disclosed to anyone, but I just feel worse when I have to talk to everyone else about theirs. I don't want to be rude but now it is to the point where I'm avoiding people because I don't want to celebrate their happiness. I'm not a bad person I'm just tired. I guess I'm want to be supportive I jsut don't know how to set bounderies....any suggestions?
2006-09-29 06:46:08 · 8 answers · asked by Kenya 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
No its not bad, you are just going through a natural emotion. I think these people have big balls because I wouldn't feel right approaching a woman who just lost a child about pregnancies or relationships no matter how secure she seemed with it. Your probably like most people who don't want to show every emotion with everyone. So when people come up to you to talk just try politely interrupting them and tell them you thought you were o.k. with what happened, but you've realized in the last couple of days that your not. Assure them that while your happy for them the conversation is bringing you to place where you'd rather not be right now and politely excuse yourself. With all that you've gone through, if someone can't respect that then that's on them. Your peace of mind is whats in important right now.
2006-09-29 07:08:56 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♪ TrickNice ♪♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep one thing in mind - almost all miscarriages are due to a fairly severe deformity in the baby. That means that you didn't do anything wrong or cause the miscarriage.
You might just try to be honest with people. Say, Congratulations on your pregnancy. If they know you miscarried, tell them that you're sorry but right now you are trying to focus on coping with the situation you have. Chances are they will understand.
Good luck!
2006-09-29 13:53:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, sorry to hear of your miscarriage. My mum miscarried once, and she said she found it so awkward talking to people because they were all avoiding her, not knowing what to say. You say you know lots of people who are expecting or trying; do you know of anyone who's had a miscarriage before? My mum said that someone she knew, not very well, approached her one day and told her she knew how she felt, and that if she ever needed to talk she could go to her. i think the best thing now would be for you to find someone you know who has been in your situation before now - there's bound to be someone you can talk to. Good luck with trying for another one.
2006-09-29 13:59:27 · answer #3 · answered by lizie159 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be honest and tell them that you are going through a hard time and that you are happy for them but you need some time to yourself to clearyour head. my sister had a miscarriage and she went through a hard time too. good luck!
2006-09-29 13:51:57 · answer #4 · answered by supermomma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grieve the loss and take your time. Tell them you are still having a hard time and then just take care of yourself.
2006-09-29 13:54:35 · answer #5 · answered by Buffy Summers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that it's a sore subject with you right now and you r sorry.
2006-09-29 14:07:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya this is bad try to be happy in others happiness
2006-09-29 14:00:28 · answer #7 · answered by golu 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
very bad
2006-09-29 13:49:40 · answer #8 · answered by Letmebeme 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋