Ok so I'm a 20 year old girl who has been flirting with this 40 year old guy, a divorcee with kids, who happen to be my best friends brother. We have a mutual attraction of some sort, and I don't want any one to get hurt. My friend has made some commetns about us and it seems that she would be fine with it if something would happen between me and her brother. I dont want to confuse him or myself, and i sertainly dont want to start something that could be a problem in the future. Am I just looking for some FUN at the wrong place and time, is it normal? Or is this just sick??
2006-09-29 06:40:52 · 25 answers · asked by Girly-Girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's twice your age. he could be your father.
Are you sure at such a YOUNG AGE - you want the responsibility of dating an older man with CHILDREN? Conside that he has more to put on the line than you do, and he is either interested in a fling with a young chick, so he can brag to his buddies, or he is interested in the real thing - the long haul. Is this someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, adn you are willing to look like an idiot for him? because to his friends, you will look like a bimbo.
2006-09-29 06:43:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When I was 20 I married a man who was 36. We were married for 15 years and had two beautiful daughters. It was the right thing for me at the time and I do not regret a moment of it. However, if my daughter, who is 20 now, were to ask my advice in this situation, I would definitely tell her not to get serious at this young age.
If all you're looking for is a fun time, older men are great! Just make sure the ground rules are clear from the start. You didn't say how old his kids are, but I would definitely keep them out of the relationship if it's just a fling. The last thing you want is for his kids to get attached to you and then have it end. That's not fair to them.
If you do get serious with this man, make sure you're both on the same page about kids. At his age, he already has his family and may not want to start over. That's not fair to you if you want kids.
2006-09-29 13:49:26 · answer #2 · answered by gatheringplace2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard to answer, you don't actually tell us what "to" is. Do you just want to knock boots? Then what the hell go for it since you are both over 18 (just make sure you have the number to an ambulance service by the bedside).
If "to" means have a relationship and life that will result in marriage then you and he both need to sit down go on a date and talk about what can come of it. If he has kids he may not want more - do you? if he has been married and it ended bad, he may not want to re-marry - Do you? If he was in a relationship for a long time he may want to enjoy the next few years and screw as many women as he can - Can you deal with being one of them? In 10-15 years you will still be young, but he may need you to change is adult diaper and wipe his *** - will you?
On the bright side he will die long before you and then you can find a 20 year old for yourself - personally if I was you I would look for one now instead of the old man.
2006-09-29 13:48:33 · answer #3 · answered by mraandmisse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all the spell check option on here is free,use it.Now on to your problem,here is the bottom line question how will you look at him in 10 years,20 years etc.. when you are 30 he will be 50 etc...Do you also have anything in common?20 years is a big difference,but if you love him and can live with the difference why not,that's what they call a trophy wife.
2006-09-29 13:47:08 · answer #4 · answered by Tom S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal.
If two people find one another attractive, then age is no barrier.
As long as you both are honest about how you want the relationship to be - casual & fun leading nowhere, or something with more commitment. Ask yourself if you would like children of your own in the future and for their father to be there as they grew up.
At your age, go for the fun and excitement - you have plentl of time for settling down in the future
2006-09-29 13:45:55 · answer #5 · answered by kamirsam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to anyone on here some may say its sick but who cares what anyone thinks if you two are happy together than great if it doesn't work out than that is too bad but age shouldn't be a determining factor. Happyness is all that matters and the older the guy more experience ;-) jk
GOOD LUCK
2006-09-29 13:45:52 · answer #6 · answered by Terry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah, i wouldn't do it. He's an old man, date someone your own age. There is something very wrong with a man who wants to date someone half his age. Usually they seek out someone who is naive and much younger when they have a control problem. I wouldn't be suprised if this guy was a compulsive liar or abuser. Look at the reason he's divorced.
2006-09-29 13:45:56 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u are not sick you are in your early 20,s just experienceing things your get over it as you get older. iam 31 and iam married to a 44 year old devoriced man with two teenage kids and i am enjoying my marriage. all im saying is if it is going to cause trouble between u and your freind and she really is a very good freind then don't have fun with her brother!
2006-09-29 13:46:18 · answer #8 · answered by cheyanne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im 25 he is 38...you not too far off!!!! I think what attracted me to him was his matureness (is that a word?) the guys our age are VERY immature, I am very much so in love with him. I have 2 kids he has none and he treats them like his own. Good luck
2006-09-29 13:44:08 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want your own kids??? Is he fit and neat?? In twenty years when he is 60 and you are 40, is he still going to be enough for you?? If so, go for it. He will have all the Life experience needed to ensure a safe ... Wait a minute ... Why is he divorced???
2006-09-29 13:45:23 · answer #10 · answered by wadenovakovski 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋