I do not expect him to do it all the time JUST when he is at home lounging about when I am at work...He works too but his hours are different to mine...It would just be nice not to have to come home in the afternoon to no dishes in the sink....Don't say buy a dishwasher as I not got room for one (already thought about that)
2006-09-29 05:58:14 · 20 answers · asked by Denise W 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Guzzler, he will just say oh well if I can't do it proper then its best you do it then lol
2006-09-29 06:12:55 · update #1
try sitting naked in the sink
2006-09-29 06:01:01 · answer #1 · answered by eggy74uk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatley, men get wives and moms confused. All they see is a caretaker. Sit down with him when you have some quiet time and tell him how much you love being in the relationship with him. Tell him that when you clean you think about him and hope he will be pleased when he gets home. Then say something like, "I think it would be nice to come home from work to no dishes in the sink. Would you mind doing that for me, hon? It just makes me feel bad to come home from work and find dirty dishes." Do practice what you want to say so that it comes out as a request and not a slam. When you've got it down, ask him.
2006-09-29 13:24:29 · answer #2 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an excellent question, and one with which I have recently been faced. I may work from home (I telecommute), but my work hours are just as long as my husband's work hours. For this reason, I think we should split the housework. He agrees, but, when it is his turn to do the dishes, clean the cat litter, etc., he often leaves his chores undone for days at a time. As this can get rather smelly and make for an unpleasant and distracting work environment, I tend to nag when smellier chores are left unfinished for more than 24 hours. Finally, I happened upon a plan of action that works:
1. Get out of the house.
Take your man to neutral territory. I chose to start the conversation on the way to a baseball game.
2. Apologise.
I apologised for nagging. You may not nag, but you probably express your frustration in some way. Apologise for that behaviour.
3. Explain that your partnership is an equal one.
Explain that you don't want to nag, but that it seems like the best option when compared to doing it yourself. Because doing it yourself requires you to take on an unequal portion of the housework, it is a bad precedent to set. Again, change the words to suit your situation, but the point should be clear: you are equal partners with equal responsibilities. This part of the conversation should be short; don't give it time to develop into an argument.
When I made this point to my husband, he said he never asked me to do more of the work. I explained that letting the housework go until I have no choice but to step in may not be a verbal demand, but it is still a rather powerful one.
4. Apologise again and tell him you love him.
Once again, apologise for the the negative behaviour with which you express your frustration. Tell your man that you love him, and then change the subject. Enjoy the game (or the activity of your choice) and your time alone together. Go home and have sex. Have fun and be in love. Let it seem as though the honest conversation brought you closer together.
5. Make a concerted effort.
After the first few days, you should notice your man making a concentrated effort to help out more. He'll notice your attempt to stop nagging (or exhibiting your frustration in another manner). Unless this technique fails, don't approach the subject again.
In choosing this course of action, you reach a compromise: he has to help more, but you have to nag (or express your frustration in some other way) less. If you break your part of the deal, he has the right to break his part. Only nag (or exhibit your frustration in a negative manner) if he reverts to his slovenly ways.
This worked for me; I hope it works for you!
2006-09-29 13:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by ConfusedWife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell me about it. Apparently, I have a job but my bloke WORKS for a living! I can only offer short-term solutions.
1 Tell him your fantasy about coming home from work and surprising him while he's doing the washing-up.
2 Tell him that you've asked your mother to come and clean everyday. And it will cost him 20 quid!
3 Go on strike.
4 Withhold nookie.
None of these work for more than a week at a time with my bloke. If you find a longer lasting solution (electric-shock dog-collar, maybe!), do let me know!
2006-09-29 13:28:09 · answer #4 · answered by Fifi L'amour 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and say you want help with the washing up try and get him to agree to at least a few days a week its better than nothing!
Don't do it your self let it pile up, he may not do it as he just knows your come home and do it anyway, he'll soon get the picture and do some washing up when there's no plates or cups left!
If not last resort... deny him something he likes if he doesn't do it!
2006-09-29 14:08:19 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you come home, ask him to come into the kitchen and help you, this might make him realise that he could have actually done them whilst you were at work. My hubby and I do them when we are are home alone and don't wait for the other one to come in. If we are both at home I cook and he cleans up after me or I will help him by drying what he's washed.
2006-09-29 13:01:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cook he washes up. He cooks you wash up. No excuses for such poor behaviour. If you continue as you are your life will be all chores and no fun. A lazy man is just not sexy. He may need teaching the basics if his parents let him get away with it. You need to learn the art of negociation before the rot sets in.
2006-09-29 13:24:48 · answer #7 · answered by di d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
use the carrot and stick method. put on a nice pair of undies he has never seen u in and wen he is making a move on u, remind him u need to do the dishes this will encourage him to help u out so u guys could quickly go have a quickee.............
2006-09-29 16:21:44 · answer #8 · answered by bode 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you work the same amount of hours, split the chores in half. If he works more, make him do 1/3.
2006-09-29 13:01:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, generally people check this BEFORE they get married. Oh well, if he aint helping you i dunno, i'd freak out and not do the dishes at all!!! i never had any brothers while growing up and find it hard to deal with guys who have primitive ideas that a woman's place is to wipe his bottom! that is like, SO STONE AGE? well, when he wants to have sex, tell him u gotta do the dishes first!
2006-09-29 13:05:52 · answer #10 · answered by Wisdom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has`nt washed this dishes,don`t give him dinner,tell him he has`nt got a plate,he needs to wash it.
2006-09-29 13:02:29 · answer #11 · answered by Darrell K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋