Relationship wise, What's the best way to avoid/defuse arguments in a relationship?..I'm speaking from a male perspective and I'm speaking for all the males when I say FEMALES love to argue about anything and everything. I'm tired of it. I'm about to throw in the towel.
2006-09-29 05:49:07 · 3 answers · asked by Just_Asking 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why don't you try to exercise some empathy? Not everyone thinks just like you do, nor should they. We all have our pwn perspective, and our own perceptions. Granted, her perception does not always equal your intent, so when she reacts emotionally, take a step back from defending yourself. Put yourself in her shoes. Forget what you think and try to see things from her perspective. Tell her what you think she must be feeling. Then, clarify your intent (what you really meant). You should always seek to understand before expecting to be understood. Sorry, but you just have to make the extra effort. And you are overgeneralizing when you atribute a woman's qualities to all women in general. That might be part of the problem and why you have suck bad luck with women. Maybe if you changed your attitude juat a bit, and realized that when a certain problem with several women happens, YOU are the common denominator. Maybe you just refuse to see beyond your own perspective. Maybe you think your view is the only correct view, and you try to convince others of that. This would be a huge mistake. Maybe you think you can justify your view by 'speaking for all males'. This is also wrong. there many other males out that there that "get it", even if you don't.
So to answer your question, try these things: (to de-escalate an argument)
1- Slow down. What are you/she angry about?
2- Put yourself in her shoes. Tell her what you think she must be feeling.
3- Allow her a moment to correct any misunderstanings. Do not explain or defend yourself. Apologize (even if she perceived yoour intent incorrectly).
4- Clarify your intent. This is where you get to explain yourself. Apologize again. Sincerely.
Avoid finger pointing, blaming, accusing, spitefulness (trying to get back at her or hurt her feelings), dismissing, being "victimized", being "right", trying to convince her to see things your way, etc.
To avoid arguments, when you first feel the sting, aks her what she meant by that (give her the benefit of the doubt, and another chance to say what she really means). And if she reacts emotionally to something you say, take a moment to say "what are you upset about?" Let her tell you. Tell her in your own words how you think she feels and why (whatever you did). Let her correct you if she needs to. Then, apologive for giving her that idea and explain yourself.
2006-09-29 06:36:40 · answer #1 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As mad as something may make you, don't say anything in retaliation, cuz it might be something that you'll regret later. If your on the phone, just tell the other person simply that your going to hang up because things are getting a little too heated. Or if your in person, do the same thing, just tell the other person that you and he/she needs some breathing time and just walk away and stay away for a day. When you feel like there's been enought time away, get in contact with that person and let them know that you want to sit down and have an adult conversation about the problem. Also, let them know that arguing is a wastw of time and that you's are too grown to be doing it. Eventually things will calm down, and the other person will realize what an *** they made out of themselves, especially when you didn't argue back.
2006-09-29 05:59:24 · answer #2 · answered by furever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
avoid "hot" topics, agree to disagree, walk away-----women are not only guilty in this, but that's another arguement--see what you started? LOL
2006-09-29 06:08:23 · answer #3 · answered by phyllis_neel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋