He says he only likes me as a friend. That remind him too much of his ex. I get that, as unfair as it is. I will get over it.
But, one of my best friend (who has never met him) emailed him about a party they will be attending for a mutual friend, and he wrote her back about a paragraph and a half about how he only likes me as a friend (he said this about four times in the email) and he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. But he does care about me and he thinks I am sweet but "it would never work". He says he has been distancing himself from me because of this. "I don't know how much of this she has told you, but I thought you needed to hear my side too."
She really doesn't know much about what is going on, so she was kinda caught off guard. She just read parts of the email to me over the phone. She said "Obviously, he has thought a LOT about you.."
Did he just need someone to talk to who knew me? Do you think he thinks I'm mad at him? Or, like she thinks, that he is trying to supress any feelings he might have?
2006-09-29 04:36:11 · 22 answers · asked by Mintygoodness1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We're both 27.
2006-09-29 04:46:16 · update #1
Okay I think I got this covered. Me being the confusing male sometimes. It seems to me he has thought of all the possible outcomes in his head. If you didn't know. Most guys think way too much. As far as "caring" for you. That's not a cop out as it seems. He has these feelings for you but is afraid of something that can or would happen. So he avoids it with you. He has seen the scenario already being played.. He definitely used the best friend factor. He talked to her because she (if she is your best friend) knows things about you but is NOT you. He feels that maybe that's the best way to let you know without actually talking to you. That is action is a result of the fear he has. My advice is that if he means alot to you (romantically) go after him. If that's the case there is no problem you can't fix. And even if you are similar to the ex. You aren't her.
2006-09-29 04:45:48 · answer #1 · answered by Will Gotham 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say he's being honest about how he feels about you and he sounds a little too confident and conceited about how you feel about him. He's assuming a lot. He's assuming that you are just way too enamored by him and I think he probably thought your friend was in on this whole thing and that was a way for you to get to him. He probably thought your friend was emailing him to get the scoop. He's assuming an awful lot. I would probably address that with him, then I'd not talk to him for a while because he seems like his ego is pumped up b/c you like him. I would probably ask both of them not to discuss you or how you feel that way there is no reason to have "a side" he needs to grow up unless you've been bugging him..if you have..leave him alone..find someone who likes you for you. Sounds like he just doesn't want to be more than friends and is trying to say it nicely. Good luck!!
2006-09-29 04:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by beautifully broken 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a guy, and I know tons of other guys that do and say this crap. He's obviously insecure for some reason, either about himself, or how he'll feel in front of his guy friends if it's known that he's dating/hooking up with/sleeping with you. If I were you, I wouldn't waste any more time waiting for him to grow up and be a man. Who knows, maybe getting out there and dating other men will make him realize that he'd better "s**t or get off the pot" before you're out of his reach.
BTW, how old are the two of you?
2006-09-29 04:44:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think he did think it all over how things would be between u 2 if u were together and he came to a very clear conclusion...that he does not wanna be with u in any relationship, he only wants u as a friend, thats what he sees in u. there is no more to think about this, if u keeps asking him, he will get sick of it cauz he has told u over and over...what other way can the poor guy put it? accept the facts and move on..nothing will ever change....to him your not the one he wants...no worries, u will find someone that will love u
2006-09-29 04:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's probably afraid that you told your friend all about him and how confused you are. You really don't know how much your friend and he have corresponded, only what you're told. He's not wanting to seem like a bad guy to your friend, for whatever reason, but he doesn't seem to want to date you, and it doesn't seem to me that there are any suppressed feelings towards you based on what you wrote.
2006-09-29 04:40:03 · answer #5 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think yes he wanted to talk to someone who knew you, and that he may be trying to fight off any feelings that he has for you and also he may be pulling a way because he really does not want to hurt you or fall for you. So do not be angry but move on.
2006-09-29 04:41:32 · answer #6 · answered by hummingbird 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's not that into you, and you have made it obvious that you have feelings for him and now he feels uncomfortable around you. Lighten up. If you start seeing someone else he will probably get over these feelings because he will know you have moved on. Leave him alone.
2006-09-29 04:39:49 · answer #7 · answered by kihteacher 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um this isn't a romance novel - this is life. Either you're an uggo, or he is so deep in the closet he's finding Christmas presents.
2006-09-29 04:40:36 · answer #8 · answered by Chuck N Knutz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Never forget that mostly guys just want to hump as many girls as possible, if you remember that they will say and do anything to accomplish this, the mystery will suddenly evaporate!!
2006-09-29 04:39:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
WOW that a good one
maybe is trying to suppress any feelings do to he not ready for a new relationship.
2006-09-29 04:40:36 · answer #10 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋