Has anyone out there had trouble with bullies at school?

Question

My 8 year old grand-daughter is in 3rd grade and the past couple of years was teased and made fun of because she's chubby. Now, she's called fat, but in my opinion she's not what you'd call fat, I tell her just how beautiful she is and that those kids evidently aren't happy themselves or they wouldn't take time to pick on her. She seems to be doing a little better this year, she moved and goes to a different school. This kind of stuff has gone on forever and the kids that are doing the bullying would pick on her for something else if she weren't chubby. Kids just seem to find something.I'm just hoping it doesn't eat away at her self esteem. Can anyone tell me if there's more I can do as a grandma?

Answer 1

Bullies ! Bullies ! Bullies!

How I HATED the bullies!

My dad is a bully, so that didn't help, but I did learn how to deal with them. Your granddaughter needs to understand that this is a part of life - bullies are EVERYWHERE. But what's funny is this:

When they grow up; when they finally mature, guess what? They DON'T REMEMBER that they did bullying. They did not know that they hurt people. Is that not something else? I've seen shows of people who confront the bullies some 10, 20 yrs later on a television show, and the bully was totally CLUELESS that they created such pain in another student; in fact, the show I watched had the bully as not even REMEMBERING the person at all!

And of course, I've attended reunions, and most of the bullies have had rough lives, unhappy, looking years older than they should, so now I feel sorry for them.

Let your grandaughter know that she will probably face alot of people like that, some to be mean, some are just ignorant of what they are doing. In time, your granddaughter will grow older and will get prettier,and will loose some of the "baby fat", and will look good in her body. She needs to focus on having empathy for others, and show people who have afflictions that they can be loved, too. There are kids who are crippled, blind, deaf, health problems of all kinds that are also picked on. It's unfair, but it is life. Your granddaughter can learn to be sympathetic and develop a deeper understanding of peoples feelings, so that maybe, when she grows up, she can be a counselor, nurse, doctor, physical therapist, or some other occupation that will help her feel like she is loved by giving of herself to others.

Bullies are miserable people.
Ignore them.

Answer 2

I hear U and know exactly what u are talking about. I am a mother of 4 girls ages 15, 13, 12 ,10. All of them are very different from the other. My oldest gets picked on because she is too smart. the 13yr. old , because she is too skinny and has big ears. The 10 yr. old stutters when she speaks. The 12year old got lucky with her appearence, is also extremely smart and athletic, it seems that she is picked on because the other kids at school are jealous of her. No matter what the sitituation is for the child, ther are always BULLIES. I believe this could be partly to blame for the rise in school violence and school shootings. I feel that there should be strict punishment enforced for ALL bullies, not just the ones who dont have the "well-know" family name in town. All you can do is assure ur granddaughter that she is just as beautiful as the next person. Listen closely to her feelings. If things get worse, U may consider talking to the school officals. Good luck and God Bless you.

Answer 3

Don't feed her super-size meals and milkshakes. It doesn't matter whether you think she's fat or not. If they are saying it it could very well be true. Regardless, give her healthy choices for meals and fruit and veggies for snacks most of the time. Let her have some goodies occasionally. Don't make an issue out of weight, make it be about health, and don't let her connect your concern with her health with her concern about being fat. You wouldn't want her to get hung up on it. When she complains about bullies maybe tell her other examples of bullying which have nothing to do with weight, like maybe age or class or race. Keep the focus on the wrong behavior of them not the fat question. And also, make sure she exercises every other day or so. Perhaps sign her up for a sport. Karate is great, plus she will learn self confidence in that, which may carry over to her body image. The only thing else we can do is be good examples and pray! Good luck Grandma. She is lucky to have you. She will be fine.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, children can be incredibly thoughtless and cruel. My nephew suffered bullying at school to the point at which he had to stop attending - teachers and school admin seemed unwilling / unable to prevent it. He was a very gentle sensitive and clever child, and suffered terribly.
As an adult, he now has a great job, is happy, and has overcome the fear and unhappiness that his childhood peers caused him.
As for the bullies? Well, none of them have amounted to much in the adult world, and few ever will. It isn't much I know, but there may be some comfort in knowing that the sort of personality traits that make a bullying child are of very little practical use to most in the 'real' world, and at some point your grand daughter will probably have the satisfaction of being asked "do you want fries with that?" by her former tormentors: in the long run, they will doubtless be the unhappier human beings . . .

Answer 5

I would just love her heaps & show her that she has worth & she is not the sum of insignificant people's ideas of her. Kids *will* always find something & the less she cares about what the other kids think of her the better off she'll be. Learning how to stand up for yourself isn't a bad thing either, verbally or physically if the little buggers decide to get physical (I don't advocate brawling but I do believe in fighting to save yourself from being beaten, abducted & worse).

Answer 6

I am 41 years old and was teased unmercifully in grade school and middle school because I was a little chubby and wore glasses. I can't tell you what this did to my self-esteem. To this day I suffer a low opinion of myself. You have to stop it some way. My mother did what she could by talking to the principal and going through the school system, but it didn't stop. The only thing that stopped it was her placing me in a private girls school, where I made friends quickly and did well.

By the way, I'm 5'10" and 131 pounds now with long hair and long legs. All those "boys" who teased are fat, balding men now who I wouldn't look at twice! Most of the "girls" are chubby now and frumpy housewives. It took me a little while to grow into my looks and height.

Answer 7

Well first off, childhood obescity is a very serious issue. If kids at school are calling her fat it's because she is. Kids can be cruel, but when it comes to bullying they will take an existing trait to make fun of the child about. You should concentrate more on having your granddaughter be a healthy individual because if she is chubby now then she will be fat later. Eating habits of childhood follow people for the rest of their lives and is VERY hard to change.

Answer 8

well i don't know what to tell you about the bullying, most kids are usually brutally truthful if she is a little overweight get her outside playing more often, this will help with the bullying as well as keep her in good health and stop bad habits before they start, you might also wanna check her diet, not put her on one just make sure shes getting healthy food, fast food more than once a week isn't part of healthy, something i need to check myself on as a matter of fact, but its worse for kids because they will grow up thinking its ok, my parents never got fast food like that and i didnt start doing it till i was out of the house and had a drivers license and was out and about alot

Answer 9

Teach your little one self defense and how to fight back. Bullies are everywhere and at any age in life. Confontation is the best thing at her age.

Answer 10

get the names of the kids and tell the school and the parents