They are all in relationships and now I feel pressured to be in a relationship - which would be awful I hate dating and don't enjoy sex at all. A few years back I used to want to be in a relationship but now I have realised I would prefer to remain alone for the forseeable future (hopefully forever).
How can I convince people that not only I am happy alone but that the idea of me having any sort of romantic relationship is something I find revolting. I don't want to be rude and lose friends over his but I don't want them to try to get me to meet someone or to be tricked into going on a blind date or some other crazy scheme.
2006-09-29 03:22:52 · 24 answers · asked by monkeymanelvis 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I really am happy at the moment. Part of not wanting a relationship is that I don't want to get into a relationship and have it fail and then be unhappy to be single again. Being single is easier.
The main reason why I don't like sex is that for many years I was sexually active and a severe alcoholic and I can't enjoy sex unless I have alcohol, which I have given up. Sex while sober makes me long for alcohol so much that something supposed to be fun becomes a horrible ordeal. It's like a friend of mine who loved smoking in the bath, when she gave up cigarettes she switched to showers as baths just made her crave nicotine. I guess it's a Pavlov's dog reaction.
2006-09-29 03:45:14 · update #1
Man, I remember this happening to me. One of my aunts even started talking to friends and family about the possibility that I might be gay (which is not a crack on gays, but shows what an idiot my aunt is).
I did eventually marry, but while I was single, I:
1. Told them (with a smile) that they were overly preoccupied with my marital status and there were other things more worthy of their attention.
2. When they called me picky, I told them I needed a man that spoke in more than mono syllables.
3. Looked at whiny children, beer-guzzling husbands and nasty, unkempt houses and said, "You're right! I am missing out on a lot!"
Seriously, just ignore them and live a fabulously happy life. You won't be able to change their minds, but they may back off when they finally get that you're happy with your life as it is. If they have the nerve to trick you into a blind date or other crazy scheme, just graciously excuse yourself and leave. If they're stupid enough to try that s***, then they can explain to your "date" what the hell happened. I bet it doesn't happen again. People who love you respect you enough not to be stupid.
2006-09-29 03:33:50 · answer #1 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry dear you can't make them understand, and if they were your real friend they wouldn't be pressuring your into doing something you don't want to do, and you wouldn't be afraid of losing a friendship, I don't care if the people I'm friends with have romantic relationships or not. But are you really be honest with yourself, do you not want to be in a relationship because you truly want to be alone, or is it the whole dating thing that turns you off, I hate the whole dating thing. I would prefer an arrange marriage to be honest with you, but that is not the society that we live in. no body want to be alone we all need romantic love and you are lying to yourself if you say otherwise, now you may be having some other issues going on maybe with your sexual identity. and your are afraid to come out to your Friends I don't know but think about what I asked you before you answer it.
be blessed and I wish you all the best
2006-09-29 03:33:34 · answer #2 · answered by Proverbs 31 women 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I read your question I realized why your friends and family are trying to hook you up. You don't sound happy. They want you to be happy. People who are happy don't use words like "hate dating" and "don't enjoy sex" and "relationship...revolting".
If you are truly happy then start sounding happy. Tell your friends and family that you find great happiness in solitude. Explain to them that romantic relationships are just not something you are interested in and that if they really love you they will respect your wish. Then just be happy when you are around them and show them that your life is fulfilling, just exactly the way it is.
2006-09-29 03:31:47 · answer #3 · answered by Sister Cat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you ask them if they really care about your happiness, if they say yes then tell them that you will enter into a realtionship in your own good time and that constantly trying to force the issue will only make you back further away from it.
Good Luck, you have my blessing....
Give them this tid bit too:
Marriage is the leading cause of divorce!
2006-09-29 03:26:45 · answer #4 · answered by KIRRA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I saw a programme on TV about people who don't like to have sex. They are asexual. I bet you can go on-line and find out about groups for people, presumably like yourself. It may help if you have others you can talk to who feel the same way. In the meantime, pretend to be dating - this always seem to work (at least for a while) in films and sit coms
2006-09-29 03:27:39 · answer #5 · answered by big pup in a small bath 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore them and laugh off their efforts as harmless fun. You're getting annoyed tells them there's something more than "happy to be single" going on here.
Me thinks the lady, ahem, doth protest far too damn much
2006-09-29 03:26:35 · answer #6 · answered by Dirty_Idea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough question
All i can tell you is just sit down with them and tell them that you just aren't interested in relationships now and that to be pressured just makes you want them even less if they don't want to listen then you may have to get a little rude it's sad but if they truely are good friends they will understand i hope it all works out for you
2006-09-29 03:28:34 · answer #7 · answered by K C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying to convince them and get on with your life!
Ever heard of that quote 'me thinks she doth protest too much'?
That's the way families think, the always assume that they know you better than anyone else or even yourself!
Rise above it, ignore their attempts, laugh them off and they'll soon get the message.
2006-09-29 03:27:05 · answer #8 · answered by Lorraine R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah another one who is highly selfish. Who thinks they are happy alone but in reality they are not. You have issues deal with them.
As for the family and friends just tell them strait up that you will make the decisions on your personal life and if you want help you will ask for it.
2006-09-29 03:28:10 · answer #9 · answered by omvg1 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just keep living your life. Your life is yours and yours alone. If you wanna f@ck it up, that's your decision not there's. Most people give up on dating after a few bad experiences, that's normal.
2006-09-29 03:28:07 · answer #10 · answered by scorpion187us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋