Do i have boy phobia??

Question

i havent had a boyfriend for over three years i am 22 i am quite big weighing 76 kilos but i used to weigh about 60 when i was 20! when i go out i can kiss boys when i am drunk but as soon as they msg me or want to see me again i freak out and will not text them back! i dont know what i am scared of or weather im scared of anything or not or if i just dont like them or they dont like me raaa i dont know! help why dont i have a boyfriend??

Answer 1

"Boy Phobia" is a term I am unfamiliar with, but you may be struggling with low self-esteem. You seem to be stuck. You don't have a problem meeting "boys" (at 22 I hope you are attracting men), but you don't take it further than the 1st meeting. I call that being stuck. Also another indicator of low self-esteem is the getting drunk & kissing boys thing. Left unchecked I predict that it will turn into a getting drunk & F***ing boys thing. Then you will really freak.
You were very quick to point out that you think of yourself as overweight which means you could have an even lower self-esteem than before. But by your own admission, your apparent lack of a BF was a full year BEFORE you went up to 76 kilos, so the weight isn't the root of your problem. But your problem may be a contributing factor to your weight.
Are you scared of something? Well most of what we do is out of some kind of fear. We want a partner out of fear that we will be alone. We work out of fear that we won't have adequate food & shelter. etc etc.
You may be not texting these guys back out of a fear that you will eventually be rejected if you somehow appear desperate.
Now, you can lose weight if you want to, but you will still be the same person inside, with all of your thoughts & fears still firmly intact unless you start to explore what is really going on with you.
There may be a good self-help book you can try, or a little talk with a councellor might help.
You are about to start on a journey of self exploration. Take it day-by-day & one step at a time, & soon you will find ways to make changes where you want changes to take place.
It's a process that takes time & patience.
Be kind to yourself.

Answer 2

Sounds like you need more confidence. I mean it's normal for people to do things that they would'nt normally dare doing when they're drunk. I guess you don't have a boyfriend either because of that or because you haven't found a guy that you can feel comfortable with or right about going out with. You mentioned your weight...if your weight bothers you then do something about it. Maybe you can talk to your doctor and see whether it's the fault or your metabolism or whether you need to eat right and/or excersize more....if you're comfortable with your weight for your height and build then don't be shy about it love you for you and other people...includin guys will love you to. I'm sure you're a wonderful lady and once you start believin in yourself and loving being you then having a boyfriend or not won't really matter. I wish you all the best and don't worry...matters of the heart take time. When the right guy comes along you'll know.

Answer 3

No you don't have a boy phobia. If you did, trust me, kissing them (despite drunkenness) would not be an appealing option! It sounds to me like you are very self -conscious of your weight, the fact that you mentioned it when really, there was no need to mention it in this question, says to me that your weight is an issue for you. It sounds to me like you might be a bit afraid of rejection. Maybe you are self conscious about your looks and probably somewhere deep down you don't want to meet with these boys because you're afraid that they won't like what they see and that maybe they only went with you initially because they were drunk. This is of course, ridiculous and shouldn't be putting you off meting up with them for two reasons! Firstly, if a boy wasn't interested and didn't fancy you, he wouldn't message you! And secondly, if you did meet him and he was shallow enough to judge you on your looks, then he's a pig and a waste of space anyway! Hope this helps.

I can't believe the riduculus answers you got to this question by the way. You most definatley do not need to see a doctor and I'm guessign that rick guy is no stranger to rejection.

Answer 4

No, you have a phobia of rejection....like almost every human being. No one likes to be rejected, but we must take chances in life. You mention your weight, so I figure maybe you're a bit self-concious about it....You can always work on your appearance, but someone who likes you for YOU, on the inside, is the one you want anyways! I say, get out there and have fun while you're young...Try to not worry about the little things..If these guys are messaging you or calling then it means they have some interest in you, so take a chance and see where it goes. We only live once, so don't let your life pass you by. You'll find the perfect one who loves you for you and in the meantime, just enjoy your life!! :)

Answer 5

You can only kiss them when you're drunk??? Sounds to me you have low self esteem. Your not even that big. Pull yourself together darling,and I mean that in a nice way. You're still so young. Guys obviously like you if they want to see you again. You will find a boyfriend when you least expect it but try to drop the getting off with guys when you're drunk thing. Dutch courage isn't the answer. Just try and be yourself!!!

Good Luck!!

Answer 6

I think you should go see a doctor... your a woman and woman like men... maybe there is something that is bothering you... or maybe something that your scared to do... the best thing I think for you is to seek medical help for your situation... Maybe you should try to make just guy friends.. and hang out with them more often... try to gain more trust in them and eventually try to establish somewhat of a relationship with him... and take it step by step but if this doesn't work for you then maybe you should try to talk to a friend about it preferably a female friend that doesn't share the same problem as you.... I hope this helps you out and I hope I didn't offend you in any kind of way... take care.

Answer 7

You do not like yourself well enough to have one, and you cannot believe that anyone else could love you enough either. Thus you break it off before it begins, because you firmly believe it will end, and you don't want to suffer that pain.

If you want a boyfriend, you're going to have to lose weight. Not because there aren't guys out there that like heavier women, but because you do not like yourself at that weight, nor probably the type of guys that do. In other words: you don't like the guys that would like you, and you don't trust the ones you wish would. So like yourself first; the rest will follow of its own accord.

Answer 8

Maybe you are just scared do something daring and maybe that would help and as soon as they text u text back and just flirt have fun life is to short to worry you gotta be optimistic about it.

Answer 9

overcome your shyness!!! you should be proud of your size and your looks dont ever be scared about what other people think of you. your mother didnt give birth to you so that other people/ guys can judge you, she gave birth to you so you can live your life without fear of anyone!!! the guys are nobodies to you but if u *** out of your shyness a guy can be a somebody to you!!!!

Answer 10

You have developed a complex.
Solve the problem before it becomes worse. Take care you may end up imbalanced and oddbehaving.