How can I help a person who tells me (while drunk) he wants to end his life?

Question

I really want to help my friend, who text messaged me the other night, and says he wants to chat. Asked me to call him. He's too sad over loosing his mom last year, and he's been drinking vodka that night. How true is one's words when they are drunk? He seemed normal the next day. But I'm still worried.

What can I do to change his thinking and do anything stupid?

Answer 1

Hey his MOM is a BIG deal, alot of people including myself wouldnt know how to deal with themselves drunk or sober when they had lost a parent. You do need to talk with him, be around him, or friends around him always, this could get really serious. Some people can handle losing parents better than others, but he sounds like he needs a hug or a shoulder to cry on. She may have been his best friend. She cared for him her whole life hopefully, this is his mom we're talkin about! Find out what he truely misses about the time they spent together and work from there. Best wishes

Answer 2

YOU can't do anything to change anyone else's thinking or behavior. They have to do it themselves. You need to make a referral to a qualified and compentent mental health therapist. You can offer to go with your friend, but you can't be his therapist. He is definitely mentally ill if he sent you a text message like that. What if you didn't get it right away? Wouldn't you have felt guilty if he had harmed himself???? It's a cry for help (or at least for some serious attention) but you shouldn't play into it. You need to be clear with him and tell him that you love and care about him, but that he needs more help than you can give him as a friend.

By the way--- drunks lie ALL the time. (Like when a guy tells a girl he loves her, or that he'll call, etc.) Drinking actually impairs judgement--- it doens't enhance it. Which is why it's dangerous for someone even thinking about suicide to drink--- it could lower his inhibitions and make him more likely to do something he would regret if he was sober.

Help your friend by helping him get the professional help he needs.

Answer 3

He needs to get help. Saying that while drunk is serious. My friends boyfriend used to talk like that when he was drunk too, but not when he was sober, so everybody just kind of wrote it off as the slurrings of a drunk person. One day when he was drunk he laid down on train tracks. The only way to identify him was from a tattoo he had. Take it seriously. Talk to him. Try to get him into counseling. At the very least have him go to his physician.

To respond to the person who said he's fine because it's been a year........... My father died 5 years ago,and it still hurts like it was yesterday. Everybody's grief is different. There's no set time limit.

Answer 4

Take him seriously. One of my good friends does the same thing but under different circumstances. He gets drunk an is very emotional an talks bout ending his life he was recently sent to a special hospital to be treated for depression an suicidal issues. He could be calling out to u for help in his drunkin state. Dont ignore him what ever you do if something does happen to him you will feel responsible

Answer 5

It's a good thing that your concern, a drunk speaks a sober mind, meaning when people are drunk they talk on whats really on their mind. Try to talk with this person when you know they are sober, try reasoning with them about what they said while they were at that state, Let them know how concern you are , and how they mean to you, help them to see thier self worth, and thier problem, they need to dealt with this problem as soon as possible. It may be a cry for help., or just being depressed at the time. Still, he needs to be aware of what he said. People and life is too precious to take for granted.

Answer 6

Take him to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Introduce him to some of the men there. They can help him get through this WITHOUT having to drink.

If he refuses to go, then you have to tell him you care for him but if he won't help himself then you have to detach from him until he does. It's not fair to you for him to text message you when he's drunk and upset you like that. Then walk away from him. Tell him when he has quit drinking for at least 6 months, then you will be glad to hear from him.

Answer 7

your friend is suffering from depression and self-medicating to ward off the effects of it.

He needs to be on a good anti-depressant.

Encourage him to see a doc and tell him there is no shame in seeking help for depression.
Needle him til he does it, or the next time he is drunk, he might just make a very bad choice.

He's lucky to have a friend like you who cares so much.
Good luck! :)

Answer 8

Sounds like he wants your sympathy, and do not give him the power.
His Moms death, wow, a year ago. He is okay by now believe me.
Sounds like he is messin with u and wants your attention.
U can find someone better than this. Dont waste your time.
Most folks that say they want to end their life just wants u to feel sorry for them, next time say ...go ahead, let the devil get ya.
May sound cruel, but u got to be cruel to be kind sometimes.
Dont give a negative fellar like this the time of the day.
Find positive friends out there, or influence the negative ones into positiive thinkin.........Prayer helps alot.

Answer 9

I would call 911. You don't know if it's the alcohol talking or if it's something that has been thought out. I called 911 on a friend one time. She was drinking and took a bunch of klonopin. I couldn't have lived with myself if something had happened to her.

Answer 10

Do not dismiss his comments as the alcohol talking. He drinks to fill the void in his life left by his mom. Tell at least one of his family members as soon as possible. You could be saving his life by doing so. He needs help and counseling fast.