What should I do?

Question

I moved up to Jacksonville from Orlando with my Boyfriend a little over 2 years ago. He is from here I am from Orlando. We have been together for 3 years. I'm 20 he's 24, we are expecting our first baby in dec. I'm really lonely here and don't really have any friends espcially since becoming prego. He has friends but they aren't great or anything. He hasn't purposed or anything and I am thinking about moving to Orlando with or with out him once the baby is born, to be around my friends who also have young babies. I think I would be happier there but I don't want to leave him. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Don't you think you should have thought of all this before getting pregnant?

Why are immature kids having kids?

Answer 2

If you don't have support where your at then you will have a very rough time with raising your baby. You could become frustrated and it will effect how you mother. It doesn't sound like he put's you first. His main concern should be your well being and that would be to move. If his friends are all not that great that should tell you something about your boyfriend. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle, on the left side write all the reasons to stay, on the right all the reasons to go. You might see things more clearly. Make sure too that you love him and not just having someone. Do the same thing make a list of how he makes you feel, good and bad.

Answer 3

Volcom, You answered your own question and then changed it at the end?
Ok here is what I see! You are not happy where you are, you have a baby on the way, and you have no friends there?
Well I don't know why you moved there to begin with because no where in your question does it say you love him? If you loved him, and I mean with all your heart you would want to be with him no matter what. You can find friends. With a baby comes emotions that you have never felt before. With being pregnant you will feel lonely, you will cry alot for really no reason at all. Your hormones change so fast that you have no control over them.
As far as him purposing you need to bring that up to him but only if you really love him and want to be where he is.
You said that you want to go back where your friends have young babies, because you would be a lot happier. You have to ask yourself do these women have husbands if not are they really happy? If they do will you be happy being alone?
You also said I think I will be happier there! What about him? It sounds like to me you don't want him to go back with you because everything you have written is all about you? It should be about the two of you, you have a life coming into this world and let me tell you it's not easy on your own, it might look like it is but sweetie it's not.
Talk to him and let him know that you are not happy! Ask him if he wants to go back? If not ask why? Maybe he has a great job there, or he has family there that can help him take care of you and the baby until he can do it himself? I am not sure?
When you talk to him about this make sure that you included him in what you are saying, other wise he will get the wrong impression. Don't think just about yourself I know it hard not to with all the hormone changes but think what is best for all of you including him!
Wishing you The Best!
Congrads On The Baby! They change your world but it wonderful!
Always Amy

Answer 4

It sounds like you don't think of your BF as a "Life Partner". That's a shame because it's liable to negatively impact you child in the future if the father is out of the picture. I am not suggesting that you stay in the relationship for the sake of the child, but you still call him your BF, & if moving back to Orlando is liable to mean the end of your relationship with him, then you need to decide what is more important to you.

If you wanted to, you could make new friends in Jacksonville. You just have to decide that Jacksonville is now your home.
As long as you remain emotionally tied to Orlando, you are going to struggle with making a new life anywhere else.

You didn't say in your details if you ever discussed him moving to Orlando. Could that be an option?

Another possibility to consider is, are you reacting to motherly instincts because of the pregnancy?
When exactly did you start thinking about moving back to Orlando anyway? Was it BEFORE or AFTER you found out about the baby. If it wasn't until AFTER the pregnancy, then it could be your "nesting" reflexes kicking in, driving you to "Go Home" for your childs birth.
Here's something to think about. If you have family in Orlando, how difficult would it be to go there for your childs birth, instead of in Jacksonville. You would have your friends & family around for the time you need the support while you recover post partem, & then you will better know if your feelings are going to change about relocating back there.

Answer 5

you should talk to your bf about what your thinking about doing. i understand it would be a lot easier if you were surrounded by people you already know and already have kids but it's better when your whole family is together(bf,you,&baby). since you really don't think much of his friends, why don't you get into the social scene for yourself. stop depending on him to cover everything for you. stop using the pregnacy as an excuse to move back home. stand up and make yourself happy. get out of the house more and socialize with people.

your hormones are in overdrive right now so pretty much everything emotional is going to be blown through the roof. give yourself some time, hopefully after the baby is born, you can make a decision as big as the one your considering. right now your judgement may be clouded.

since you obviously miss your friends alot, why don't you schedule some weekends to spend time with them. maybe they can calm you down and satisfy that need to be around others. as long as your bf isn't mistreating you, try to be happy. if not for your sake, do it for your child.

Answer 6

If you feel that your relationship has run its course and there's no future for you in Jacksonville, move back home and make a new life for yourself.

Have you spoken to him about it? Have you looked for groups like we have over here (Mother & Toddler/Baby Groups)? Have you tried getting a job and thinking about leaving the baby in a creche?

You need to talk to him, do so serious thinking yourself and make a decision based purely on what is right for you ... now I'd better get down from this fence, I've got splinters in my a**!

Answer 7

well i will tell u what we do in the indian family.
when we r pregnant we go to our mothers house to have the baby so we have some one to take care of us physically and emotionally since having the baby is an emotional rollercoaster, but only for a while.when the baby is abt 40 days our husbands come to get us. by then we r almost ready to move back with our husbands to help us in the middle of the night to change diapers etc.
bascically what i am trying to say is go away for a while then come back when u r ready. u dont have to break up to do this. just tell him u will have more help in orlando, thats all.
best of luck and congrats on the baby

Answer 8

several factors here at play.. You havent mentioned why you moved in the first place-- job transfer? Is he able to move back with you or is he tied down with a good job?
2nd, have you even talked to him about any of this. He may be more supportive than you think. And ask him if he is considering at all on getting married someday, or willing to move back to orlando with you.

Answer 9

Love is the answer to everything. All you ever need is love,
communication and understanding. That's what I figured out so
far. If you are down, you need to get up and start doing something with
your life. Don't need to be shy, be straight forward and allways say what
you want and expect from the others.

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Answer 10

hmmmm...that is a complicated one. You have to choose, do you want to be happy or miserable. I think that if all your friends are in Orlando, you should go back. Explain the situation with your boyfriend and if he really loves you, maybe he will move back with you...If he doesn't, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. I think that all that matters is that you are happy...Good luck

Answer 11

You need to think who is more important for you, Friends or your boyfriend. Can you make new Friends there after your baby is born? or is your boyfriend is going to move with you? Your choice.