Christianity is what still defines quite a few people in the "Bible" belt, but they are quite a breed apart in their interpretation of religion. Can't help but admire the amazing fluency with which they use God in every sentence, their forefathers having been quite cool over holding slaves, in God's name. Not to mention their scruples over abortion, homosexuality, immigration and anything that doesn't come with missionary label. They give a new meaning to Yankee Doodle song, and have some "enlightened" views on protected sex. The Presidents they send really behave like Global Plantation owners. Wonder if Jesus Christ should have been born somewhere in Alabama instead of Bethlehem. Why, wouldn't we have been reading of him being "lynched" instead of "crucifixion".
2006-09-29 02:15:39 · 11 answers · asked by quilm 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Top 10 things that would be different if Jesus was born in the South of USA:
10. Communion would include grits and gravy.
9. Sermon would begin "Jesus came to save y'all so set a spell and praise like it's harvest time."
8. Church would be at the truck stop.
7. Hymn No. 341 is "Get Drunk and Be Somebody"
6. Daisy Mae would strut in the Narthex in her daisy dukes.
5. Minister would say "It's right neighborly of you to drop in suh" to each person as they left the service.
4. All Christians would be members of the Ku Klux Klan
3. Youth Group would visit a Bull Riding arena.
2. Mary Magdelene would have been named "Wanda Sue Magdelene"
and the Number 1 thing that would be different if Jesus had been born in the south would be:
1. He was the coal miner's son!
2006-09-29 02:24:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i did not flow to the area only because of one reason. You suggested that Justin Martyr, between the finished of the early fathersk who lived about a.D. 100 and fifty tells us that Jesus changed into born in a cave. Now, if you're to trust Justin who lived about a.D 100 and fifty, then why the arugment about the bible stating that Jesus changed into born in a manger?
2016-11-25 02:16:10 · answer #2 · answered by kirtiman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the time that Christ was born, the state of Alabama didn't exist.
2006-09-29 02:19:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Southerners don't have a corner on sinning, friends. I have plenty of my own, and I'm from a "free state". Look at your own heart. Then know that Jesus can forgive anything you"ve done if you earnestly ask Him to forgive. Wish people could do that...
2006-09-29 03:03:33 · answer #4 · answered by krautlover2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If Jesus were born in the South, he would not recognize most of the Southern people, who comprise the Bible Belt, as his followers. The Southern conservative “Christian’s” insistence on puritanical and legalistic adherence to scriptural minutia, while ignoring Jesus injunction for compassion, charity, and self-sacrifice, would cause him to declare Southern conservatives as imposters.
2006-09-29 02:17:04 · answer #5 · answered by Lawrence Louis 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
the J J J will be after him trying to lynch him well it will make a change from the cross
2006-09-29 02:25:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont know but i am a strong christian and i think that the way god planned it out and how it has happend it is great!
2006-09-29 02:19:58 · answer #7 · answered by savonii_101 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
impossible, god never travels south of the mason/dixon line.
2006-09-29 02:18:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
GO TO MY BLOG ,TALK TO CHRIST AND ALL OF HIS DISCIPLES IN HELL THEIR ON THE WALL LOOK FOR THEM
2006-09-29 02:21:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You mean he wasn't?! :-O
2006-09-29 02:23:35 · answer #10 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋