Why does everyone think homeschool kids can't think or do anything for themselves??

Question

I am always floored by how many replies on the homeschooling board state that homeschooled children are less able to think for themselves and are socially limited! I'd like to know what experiences folks have had to give them a basis to make these claims. I have homeschooled for nearly three years and it has been my experience that most homeschoolers are better able to work independently and to not only formulate but explain and apply the conclusions they reach. And I know that can't just be me

I am sure some homeschool families out there would be happy to share a typical day's schedule here so Jman can see we don't sit in the house all day! In fact, my kids get to do more now then while they were in public school..more field trips, extra curriculur activities, real life experiences.

My daughter attended traditional school up until the middle of third grade. Her first two years of school were in a DoDDs school (schools for military families living overseas). Her experience in that school was outstanding. There were monthly programs celebrating the myriad of cultures found on a military base, complete with the schools bringing in performers and guest speakers. The parents were incredably involved and the school was very willing to go the extra mile to help a child that needed that extra help. While she was there, I never once considered, or felt she needed, to be homeschooled.

We moved back to the states the summer before she began second grade. My daughter was shocked when she was the only white child in a class of 26 (we live on the base, kids go to the local public schools). For the first time ever, she was teased and ostracized because of the color of her skin. While she had an outstanding classroom teacher, the school left much to be desired when it

came to handling the racial issues as well as addressing her learning differences. They failed to meet the deadlines for the testing we requested and, when the results came in refused to admit she had any learning disabilities (but wanted to retain her for another year instead). We went into third grade hoping we could get things worked out. Meanwhile, I had a child who was suffering from headaches, stomachaches and frequent crying/panic attacks over school. She was convinced she couldn never learn and had no friends in her class. She was still being taunted for her skin color and for the fact that her family was not Christian. She was showing signs of depression and panic attacks, so we made the very difficult choice of pulling her out and homeschooling. The first year was tough. Most of that time was spent getting her self confidence back and her willingness to try new things. This had been a child who adored school in first grade, had had tons of friends and had excelled.

It has taken me nearly three years to get her back to the confidence and eargerness to learn this child had in first grade. She is involved in more after school activities now than we could have considered if she was still in a traditional class because of the increased work load most public schools have implemented. And, most importantly, she had friends ...of all ethnic backgrounds..and is happy again. We gave the public school ample opportunity to help our daughter. We have a son with autism, so I am familiar with the procedures and protocols and he is currently in a great program through the public schools. Our daughter know she may go back to a regular school whenever she wishes..all she has to do is ask. We are even willing to move to a different school district. She refuses. It has been a long haul and takes a lot of work, but I know we made the right choice.

Answer 1

Homeschooled kids are around each other so much they don't experience the same life as those who are in regular or private school. How many homeschooled children experience the following:

Joining the school paper or yearbook staff
Going to homecoming, prom and other school dances
Joining and playing on sports teams
Being a cheerleader
Student Council President or member
Joining school band, chorus, and other extracurricular activities like chess club, science club, and others
Being on the honor roll or graduating salutatorian and valedictorian from high school

Homeschooled kids don't know how to relate to that if they're being taught from home. I personally have done a few of the things I mentioned and I was privately educated for most of my school life and also graduated from a private catholic college. If I was homeschooled I would have never experienced any of the things I mentioned because I wouldnt know anything outside of my own environment. I met a kid who was homeschooled and he wanted to experience things for a kid his own age and when you got parents who are so adamant about educating their kids they forget that most children want to be a kid too. I've met a couple people in college who were homeschooled and most of them couldnt even adjust to life outside that environment and many ended up as outsiders because they couldnt relate since half the things people were involved in or talked about they couldnt relate to none of it. The disadvantage is that it can hurt a child socially if they are not able to withstand some of the things children go through at different ages like learning how to make friends and how to socialize with different people and different ethnic backgrounds. Most children learn about themselves when they're in a normal school environment. Not all kids are subjected to the harsh negative things such as gangs, drugs, bad crowds. Children will steer clear of those things with positive role models and friends who are on the same page as they are.

Answer 2

good question! I'm 14 and have been home schooled all my life.My typical school day starts with getting up about 8 to 8:30 in the morning,eating,feeding the animals,doing the dishes,then I do 2 lessons of language arts on the computer,2 lessons of Saxon math on the computer,then I study some thing that's either history,geography,or science,which I learn from a box filled with books,games,and videos that this lady puts together so that parents don't have to buy 500 different books on different subjects,then I get off the computer and do my bible study,and last I write one page of whatever I want to practice penmanship and language arts.The only thing that my mom does is check my math for wrong answers,the rest is all me.My mom tells me the minimum of what I have to do,and I go from there.sometimes I just do the minimum,sometimes I do lots,it just depends.I LOVE history,especially how people used to live long ago(clothes,houses,food,etc) and I also LOVE to read and write,and I hope to be a writer when I grow up,in fact,I already have a couple books started that I'm working on.I go to art class once a week,and my best friend and my two other friends go there,so we get to spend time then,and my best friend spends the night,or I spend the night at her house,and she has also come with my family when we go on trips,so we hang out together,and when we can't see each other,we call and email each other.I'm an only child,and I am also kinda shy,but that's just the way I was born,but I'm happy with just having 3 friends,IO don't NEED 500 friends to make me happy,that would just stress me out.I also go with my dad to wok,and I am very comfortable talking to adults,and I have adult friends.I work fine on my own,so I don't see why people think that if you through a home schooled kid out into the real world that they would completely fail,in fact,home schooled kids actually have more time to experience the real world then just sitting in a classroom isolated from the world with 50 other kids the same age,who make fun of you for being different,and who beat you up after school.I think people should research home schoolers before they start to criticize us,because they are just showing what the public school system turns kids into.

Answer 3

The people who would say that probably don't even know any home-schooled kids.

It is also my experience that homeschoolers work independently better than kids in school. My daughter approaches her education with an enthusiasm and energy that her 4 school-taught siblings didn't have. She is eager and hungry for knowledge and I am so thankful that I have the time and desire to educate her myself. You don't have to look too far on these question boards to see the results of Public Education.

As for homeschoolers being secluded because they are not in school all day. My daughter has usually finished all her school work in 2 hours which leaves the rest of the day free to do what we want - volunteering in our community, bike riding, ice-skating and skiing in the winter, visiting lots of friends, taking field trips almost every week, visiting Nursing Homes, Piano lessons, swimming at the lake, going to the park . . . . . . lots of things, meanwhile her friends are stuck inside a brick school for 6 - 7 hours every day - tell me, which one is "out in the world" and which one is "secluded"

Homeschoolers are Independent Thinkers and will be the next generation's Leaders

Answer 4

I'm not homeschooled personally, but I know that's a load of bullshit. What do they know! They think just because you are homeschooled they think you never been outside the home! Chances are you are more outgoing than I am (Though I did grow up a little off). And you right about working independently. Me? If I work alone, I end up dazing out ... or going on sites like these :)
The only way we can change this ignorance is let people get to know you. And if they still think so closed mindedly, give them a pimp slap.

Answer 5

Because the people spewing out that negative opinion can't think for themselves. :-) Seriously, they are parroting off of the generalizations of others, in effect, it is they who are not thinking for themselves. If they are basing their opinions on a couple of bad encounters then they are still not being fair. Did they try and get to know the homeschooler? How did it go after a few times? Etc., most of these sound like first and only encounters to me.

We do not use a boxed curriculum but rather living books. In my humble opinion, whether done at home or in the school I believe that any questions that give children a few choices discourages free-thinking (only exceptions being science and math FACTS and SAT's and ACT's, but I believe the new SAT is geared more towards essay writing). I want my children to get from a reading what was important to them, and what stood out to them, and what if any lessons learned they felt were in a book...not what someone else says should have been learned. My children are encouraged to discuss their opinions and they know the difference between generalizations, opinions and facts. They are encouraged not to spout off in ignorance subjects of which they know nothing about because it makes one look foolish (apparently some people on these boards lack those skills). When they do have an opinion on something that they obviously haven't learned enough about, they are called on it by us and we help them to see they "why" they should learn more before they share their opinions, and in turn that develops a deeper understanding of the subject. Many times their opinions are well thought out and based on fact and they blow their father and I out of the water with their level of maturity. Oh, we have our heated discussions to but they are passionate about a subject they'll hold their ground and I LOVE IT! :-)

Those ways, to me, are essential skills needed to help one be free-thinker, not a molded or cookie cutter child.

Answer 6

Ok, I homeschooled for most of my life, and I just graduated highschool in June. I just started college, and let me tell you, I had no problem fitting in and I am not socially limited. I made the transition pretty easily, though it is still kind of wierd actually going to classes and learning from a teacher, but I have made many friends, and so far have done well academically. I had to deal with the same comments about homeschoolers as you have described in your question. people asked me all the time if i thought i was missing out or felt lonely. Sometimes it did get a little bit lonely, but as far as missing out, do you want to know the things I missed out on? pressure to do drugs and have adult relationships, the constant gossip, the hurtful things that teenagers say and do. I don't know about you, but I think these are good things to miss out on. Without all of those things to worry about, i was able to concentrate on my school work and ended up getting into a really good college. I know how to learn independently which helps a lot in college because proffesors don't generally teach from the book, but do test on it. I am definetly able to think for myself. My advice to parents out there who homeschool is to let your child get involved in a local homeschool group, or church youth group. my advice to teenage homeschoolers is to maybe get a part time job. not only will you earn some money but you will get a chance to make some new friends and get out of the house for a while. anyway all you people who rag on homeschoolers, don't talk about things you know nothing about!

Answer 7

Certain people have a vested interest in having home schooling look bad and the public schools look good. You can figure out who they are: primarily those whose salaries derive from the public school system. So it's not surprising that certain people have developed warped ideas about what home schooling is all about. Many also really do believe that it is mostly parents who want to have robot-like control over their kids that do home schooling. Instead, it is far more likely that it's parents who do not want the Mass Culture to have robot-like control over their kids, and are specifically engaged in teaching their kids how to think for themselves, how to resist peer pressure, and how to stay out of the psychological manipulations that foul up so many people these days.

Answer 8

i sympathise with you. people think home schooled children are ignorant but if only they realised its the public schooled children who are so dim and blind to other people. i have only been homeschooling my son for a couple of months but he is more than capable of having a conversation with you, a child of two, or a person 90 years of age. my child is more than able to think for himself and is quite capable of looking up something he wants to know on the internet.but if he is not sure about something i am there. my daughter went through the whole school system and has no grades or passes in any exams. so who is to say that us parents can do any worse?

Answer 9

I agree with stock. It's pure ignorance. People seem to think that homeschooling parents teach 'only their point of view', because I guess that's what school teachers do?, when the homeschooling parents I know actually ask their kids to think about things and give their opinions and reasons.

But see, I actually know a lot of other homeschooling families and the people who are saying these things probably don't know any.

Answer 10

Your awesome thinking power did not address the point that you yourself raised about home schooled kids being "socially limited." Around here "home schooled" is the code word for "families don't trust their kids to be near the influence of other kids" and keep them isolated there so that they can avoid the contamination. The home scholars are fed a diet of carefully-chosen books that don't raise any issues that might disagree with the family's beliefs. The only conclusions that they can reach are those already inserted into them by the text book authors. They are not prepared for real life or for living in a democracy where there is a free exchange of ideas.