Spanking. Do you spank your children?

Question

i ahve always spanked my daughter to instil her with morality and discipline. She is now 23 and although we live in seperate countries she often visits and I still spank her regularily when she is here. Do other parents here agree with spanking, how has it improved your relationship with your children. ?

to those who cant be bothered to answer intelligently just saying weirdo isnt good enough. yes she is 23 and yes i do still spank and also cane her, but she asks me to do this as she finds it a purifying experience.

I have just telephoned my daughter and mentioned the answers received so far..her answer to the majority of you is "I ask my dad to spank and also cane me because i find that the pain and humiliation with its consequent outflooding of tears regenerates and purifies me. Afterwards despite the pain I feel envigorated and whole again. The crying, the pain and the whelts afterwards help me to refocus my life and helps me to get rid of any frustrations i may have, To me its like going to a Spa for 10 days. i feel wonderful, and despite what some may say, deeply loved and cared for by my father. he has never ever abused me.he loves me and I love him "

Answer 1

It may sound strange to most people, but I know of quite a few girls who were, or still are, spanked by their parents into their late teens or even mid-20s. If the girl fully accepts it and feels she derives benefit from it - as it seems, from what you say, your daughter does - then I can't see why anyone has the right to object.

But maybe you should be thinking about handing over spanking duties to her boyfriend or husband.

Answer 2

Wow. I can only think that you must come from another culture because you also mentioned caning. Caning and spanking are two very different methods of behavior modification. Spanking is usually associated with children and should not cause physical (or psychological) harm. I admit that I know very little about caning--save for the American who was caned a few years ago amid much media coverage. But what was described then was brutal. Soaking the canes in water, the physical harm it caused, the absolute fear that young man showed on TV.... And from what I remember, caning was described as a criminal punishment, not a means of disciplining children. As far as your 23 year old daughter is concerned, maybe what she needs to unburden herself is an open dialogue with the people she trusts-- clergy, therapists, parents. At her age, she is obviously able to reason and process information and should not have to have physical behavior modification.

Answer 3

I was spanked as a kid when I did stuff that deserved spanking but that ended a loong time ago. I am also thankful for it.
When to stop spanking depends alot on the circumstances, btween 16 and 18 years of age.But you should not spank a 23 year old. She's too big for that and that will only create resentment.

Answer 4

Bless you and your daughter. It is proof that spanking as a cleansing therapy really works. I had a similar situation in that I met a young women (24) on the internet. She had been in grade trouble most of her college career. She had been kicked out of at least 4 colleges at the time and was in danger of being booted from the current college she was in. We came in contact as a result of a spanking chat site as she thought if she had motivation than she might not get kicked out of her 5th University.

I told her at the time that if she submitted to me as her parent I would motivate her to get better grades. She agreed and after several weeks we came up with a plan.

The first time we met she would receive a really hard spanking. She must have cried for hours after getting that first spanking. We cuddled for a time just to show her that all was forgiven and I expected her to do better.

For all future time, once a week she was to get confirmation from her instructors what her current grades were. If her grades stayed the same or they declined she would get spanked. If she had homework to turn in she presented me the homework and if the homework was porrly done or incomplete she would receive a 2 minute spanking.

When we started the program, she was getting spankings almost every 2 days. Once I spanked her for 20 minutes because I found out she lied to me on her weekly grade report. So I gave her the spanking she should have gotten for declining grades and one for lieing all in a row with no break.

It took about 2 months before the spankings declined and I was please to hold her and congradulate her when she wound up with a semester average of 2.76 bringing her out of danger of failing a 5th school.

The next semester we continued with the discipline and motivation and although she did receive a few spankings they began getting fewer and farther apart. Eventually by the end of the year following the time when the spankings started she got spanked twice maybe but her grade point was a wonderful 2.99. She turned herself almost completely around having had two 4.0 semesters.

Despite the spankings and the humilation she felt, we moved toward becoming and having an honestly beautiful Father Daughter relationship. One so wonderful and beautiful she did me the honor of having me escort her down the aisle and give her away when she got married about 7 years ago.

Sadly I recently lost my surrogate daughter to breast cancer. I miss her but know she is with my parents and someday I will be there to.

Answer 5

I have spanked all 3 of my kids and have spanked my grandchildren when they were nothing something wrong or getting into things that could hurt them. This is a family tradition. My parents were spanked, my siblings and I were spanked, and each generation there after.
We all turned out just fine. We all had a better relationship and an understanding of each other.
Still spanking a 23 year old? Not sure about that one.

Answer 6

No, I believe parents spank out of frustration when nothing else seems to work and they aren't feeling creative to come up with another solution. I think spanking trains kids, but doesn't actually teach them so I prefer to talk to my kids so they understand why I ask and expect what I do of them.
That having been said, I will admit to occasionally though rarely spanking my kids. My son who just couldn't understand that he shouldn't stand on the window because the screen isn't strong enough to support him should he lose his balance was spanked to stop that behavior.

Answer 7

NO...NEVER. I believe that violence ONLY instigates violence. And if she is 23 now and you are STILL spanking her I would suggest some counceling. Sounds to me like a deep seeded fear that you have within yourself since childhood that needs to be examined. I have a 17 year old Son and I would NEVER lay a finger on him! And I was abused menatally AND physically til I was 17 and let me tell you...it ruined my life. Take away something they enjoy etc. instead but dont ever go as far as putting your hands on another. Espacially a child...PLEASE STOP! Please...it ruins self esteem and they will have serious issues because of it down the line. Children are precious. They can be taken from you at any time...Just remember that. If they were to die tomorrow from say cancer or something...you would never be able to forgive yourself. Please no more spanking. I beg this of you...You want them to RESPECT you...not FEAR you! Violence ONLY instigates violence. End of story.. Hope this helped...And good luck on your journey..

Answer 8

Your spanking or caning your child when she was young is considered child abuse.

You're doing it now at 23, it is physical abuse and if she told the Police you are looking at 3-5 years in prison where, if we are lucky, someone will spank you daily.

Answer 9

At this stage in her life that is completely inappropriate and tatamount to an assault.
She obviously has been damaged and you have been quite abusive.
Consistency and example does not have to be beat into a person.
You are a Pervert and a control freak who gets off on showing how "Manly" you are by hitting an adult.
Your excuse for this behavior is one often used by PIMPS.
You get mad because of the attack on you with words ...WHY?
According to you words don't get the message across it takes a beating.
Hypocrite.
Keep your 10 points. Your actions make me sick! Your daughter should wait until you are reincarnated into a worm and squash you.

Answer 10

spare the rod spoil the child.
I believe that spanking has its place. BUT 23 years old is ridiculous! She is an adult or is she? She needs to grow up if she is wanting spankings from her parents. I think that you all need to go to counseling.