MY husband is ill we belive is cancer but we dont know for sure.We have been to the doctor who say is in is head more than anything,he as been able to eat propely for many weeks now.He as an x-ray coming up on the 9-10 but people say tha is cancer.Im scarde so does he.He drinks alot to feel better stay up until late what can i do?????I dont want him to drink or stay up late.I care about him so much.
2006-09-28 23:51:23 · 27 answers · asked by teresa 68 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
my diagnosis see i specialist because he could just drop died
2006-09-28 23:56:08 · answer #1 · answered by drnick55 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Spend time with him, talk with him, do things he like together with him and love him :) Transfer the attention towards something more interesting that thinking about having cancer or not.
If he's got cancer you'll know after the x-ray result.
If you guys love each other the time you spend together is more important than the time you will not be around. Life takes turns now and then, we just make the best of it. Can't control everything.
By the way, if he keeps drinking & staying up late, and the x-ray show that he haven't got any cancer.... Perhaps he'll develop other unnecessary illnesses just due to not taking care of his body. That wouldn't be good in any case.
So, enjoy life as it is. Enjoy each other. Enjoy the days you've got together no matter if it's only a few weeks more or many more years. When the game ends doesn't really matter. It's what we did during the game that counts :)
2006-09-29 07:07:20 · answer #2 · answered by Hansinchina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly, get a second opinion.
If you are in a country that has free health care, thats great, but they can take quite a long time to see people. If you have any money saved, spend it on seeing a private doctor, at least you will get seen soon. Even if it was money for something important, what could be more important that this.
Don't panic, unless you have strong evidence that it is cancer, I could be something else. It could be a stomach ulcer, in which case the drinking will do him any good. No matter what it is, drinking heavily and regularly could make him addicted to alcohol and this in no way will help whatever problem he does of doesn't have.
He dose need to eat though, try offering him small meals often.
also, no matter how scared you are, try and be strong for him. Don't hide your feelings, tell him how you feel but try and be positive, because the fact that is wife is worried sick is probably making him worse.
2006-09-29 07:01:12 · answer #3 · answered by Amoeba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one can say it is cancer, unless they're qualified. So ignore your friend's comments. I thought I had cancer recently - I had a lump come up on my gum. It is in fact, a blocked salivary gland. Two of my friends have had breast cancer scares - again, there was nothing wrong. So it doesn't mean that it is cancer. Your doctor is the best person to tell you that.
However,if the worst comes to the worst, most cancer is treatable. My mother in law is 84 tomorrow and she has just finished a highly successful course of chemotherapy. She's good for another 15 years, her doctor says.
Where there's life, there's hope. You're afraid, I know. But hang in there ....
(Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about the drinking - you've only got a few days to go until the x-ray. Tell him to promise that he won't touch a drop once you get the all-clear!)
2006-09-29 06:56:55 · answer #4 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly here is a BIG HUG because you both need it.
I don't think you should be worrying about what it could be and ignore those who say it could be this or that,until your husband has had all the checks its impossible to know what is wrong.
Err Indoors is a nurse and says there are lots of illnesses that have similar symptoms to certain types of Cancer and they are easily sorted.
He needs to try to cut down on his drinking because this only makes you feel more depressed,and what you need is to wait for all the tests to be done and go forward from there.
I hope everything turns out for the best and we are thinking of you both.
All the best!!
2006-09-29 07:00:36 · answer #5 · answered by mentor 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is depressed. If as you say you have been to a doctor and he doesn't have cancer then he is most likely right. You can not do anything but support your husband. You can go to another doctor for a second opinion. The most important thing you husband can do is STOP drinking staying up late. Change your diet and start fighting for his health. It is the drinking that is killing him and his mind. He also needs mental therapy to help him with his depression. You need to help him understand that. You need to research about his diet, stop buying prepared foods, start cooking food from scratch as it is the chemicals in the foods that is also contributing to his depression. Good Luck
2006-09-29 09:05:45 · answer #6 · answered by NIck N 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Terrasa May God bless you and your husband a hale and hearty life. Believe me your husband is not having cancer.
What is happening is a metabolical change in your age group.
This change takes place from the age of 40 years till 80 years in many cases.
Read to him a religious book or for that matter any interesting book to your husband everyday and discuss with him the positive aspects of the page you read.
Now take him to a open park nearby your place. If both of you can walk, then walk barefoot on the grass for five minutes. Then sit on the gross facing east. Slowly take breathing exercise i.e. very slowly.
Now boil broccoli in the water. Add a pinch of turmeric powder while boiling. Give him a glass of this in lukewarm condition, preferably in empty stomach. This will wean him away from the drinks in a little period of time.
Keep smiling and help your husband to keep smiling. All the best to both of you.
2006-09-29 07:05:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be scared is expected, and how people handle that differs. Drinking isn't that best way to handle anything, never mind something like this. You will only be able to help your husband drink less if he wants to. When he's sober, sit him down and explain that you are worried about his drinking more than anything else and ask him to stop just to humour you...emotional blackmail I know, but it can work.
As for the "cancer"... Listen to your doctor, not to "people"!!! What do they know? Lots of things seem like cancer because cancer symptoms are so none specific. You'll probably find you are worrying over nothing.
Take care x
2006-09-29 06:58:50 · answer #8 · answered by e404pnf 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are getting ahead of yourself with your thoughts. You will only know what it is once the x-rays are done. Maybe he is using this as an excuse to drink a lot. Its called manipulation. Also people who drink a lot dont eat much. It sounds like you are suffering from premeditated fear of the unknown. Wait for the check up and take it from there. You may be worrying all for nothing. I really hope so.
2006-09-29 06:56:58 · answer #9 · answered by Vonnie S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey, at a time like this, its your husband who need reassuring, hes no doubt scared witless, hes looking into the abyss, and holding on with his toenails...
ive been there. and its a lonely scary place to be. he's drinking and stayiing up, so he can think, and so he doesnt have to lie abed and stare at the ceiling and worry. he can't see past next week..and hes worried about you and the squids...
hes not drinking to feel better, hes drinking himself to sleep. so as not to have to face the reality, or the truth. its a common defense mechanism.
you dont say how old he is, but its irellavent. tell him its ok to worry and wallow in self pity... but its not just him suffering, its all of you... mum dad and the kids... and for al lhis drama, it might not be malignant, so hes gettng himself all worked up for nothing... dont second guess the doctors... does he want to live, of course he does, so get him off the sofa, put the bottle back in the cupboard and go talk with someone at the hospital...
this is hardly the place to get sound medical advice, or guidance. so please, persuade him to go see a proper councellor attached to the oncology dept.
this may sound hollow, but good luck.
2006-09-29 07:06:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope and pray that it's not cancer. People can be so cruel sometimes so please don't listen to those who try to scare you and your husband. I think it is very important that you speak to your husband about his lifestyle and make him see that, whatever the cause of his illness, he needs to change his ways. The x-ray will show what is wrong with him and you can then decide together what is best for him with the doctor's guidance. Good luck to you both.
2006-09-29 07:01:40 · answer #11 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋