What am I going to do?

Question

I have asked alot of questions in the past concerning relationships and so on.
My situation at the moment|: I am sat in an internet cafe in Bulgaria while my partner upstairs sleeps. we have been on a 2 week holiday and come home on sunday.
we had gone through a lot of problems and thought we had sorted things out. But this holiday has really shown me that things are not perfect. He doesnt show me any affection, he just sleeps and i sit in the room, he constantly takes the piss out of me and is very defensive so anything I say he will pick a hole in it, hes texting his new female friend always!- I dont think I should be treated like this- we've been together over 2 years- Im scared that it will end when we get back but I cant really take any of this- I have spoken to him numerous times about his behaviour- hes alright for a few weeks then he is just his normal self.
He is depressed at the moment and I have really been there for him, as I have also suffered depression- what do I do?

Answer 1

Explain to me why you are scared it will end? Is it that you are afraid of being alone or are you dependant on him for housing, clothing or an allowance of some sort?
Let's take the first one. One may well be the lonliest number, but it is also the freeist number!
No more buckling your emtions down and having to support somebody eles's. Especially someone who is not taking ANY part of you into regard!
The freedom to eat when you want to, sleep when you want to. To go and watch a "girlie weepie" film if you want to without caustic remarks being made.
You can give yourself a make over. Re-invent your self esteem.
So he is gone? So what? He was a looser anyway!
You know it. That is why you are asking us to make the decision for you. It is hard to admit that you have hiched your wagon to the loosing streak, but in the sands of time it is almost forgotten as soon as you move on.
If the problem is monetary or housing, then you have to take a few steps backwards and survey your options. I canot advise you there as I don't know the circumstances.
Just tell us and we will all chip in with advise.
But hey girl, move on. Smell the smells of autumn, look with joy at the fleeting days as winter approaches. You can snuggle down with your emotions, write letters to yourself and tell your mirror just how much it hurts.
This is the season for shedding everything. Just look at the plants and trees. They know! Use winter to rebuild your defences and emerge into spring as the new born you; full of confidence and with a zip in your step! But without that loser tagging along.
Good luck and be strong. You can do it!

Answer 2

Make the break.. It sounds like you've given this man every opportunity to show his good side and either it's just not there or he's showing it to someone else. If you want a good and loving relationship but you can't picture it with this man, then he's got to go !

Break ups are always hard and you might be miserable for months. But it sounds like you're miserable now and unless you move on, you could be like that forever.

Moving away from a distructive relationship can be liberating as you can put yourself first for a while. Think of the big picture. It's really hard but be selfish and put yourself first. Good luck !

Answer 3

if you cant get things back on track away from normal everyday life at home you never will hun.
Holidays are an escapism from reality where two people either blossom back in love - or their problems stay. Hes pig ignorant to be texting this other woman whilst abroad with you.
If youve tried talking to him and hes not changing then I think you need to move on.
Or maybe take a break? Even though I dont agree with breaks myself - it might work for you.
You should be out having a ball on your holiday - not stuck in a cafe while he sleeps upstairs - I think you should throw on a bikini and hit the beach for yourself - give him a fright when he wakes up and cant find you.
Hope you get on ok xx

Answer 4

I would take a break from the relationship when you get back. It sounds like he has no respect for you. Holidays are usually a good way to see how well you get on and your one sounds pretty awful. It's hard to do, but when you get back just say you want some space - if that was my partner texting a woman the phone would have been broken by now!

Answer 5

You dont mention anything about yourself in this problem, so I have to assume a few things.
my advice is very simple, you dont need this man in your life, he is bringing you down and that not what you need.
When you get home, I assume you live together, move out and stay with good friends or family until you can afford a place of your own. somewhere you feel happy and comfortable. you have not found mr right yet, but you will, and in the most unlikely place,
you need to give your self some quality time, time to sort out where you want life to go. you cannot do that with some one dragging you down. He has a new female friend, let him go, let her deal with it. its not your problem.
i know its hard on your own, i spent 8 years on my own with three children, you think everyone else is happy but you, thats crap, get out there girl and start living again, forget him and problems,
hope it all works out
sally

Answer 6

First of all you know what you need to do, and that is break off your relationship. You have said as much in your question.

It won't be easy, but the sadness and disappointment will fade away over time. They won't stay forever. Better to go through a little pain now so your future is not painful.

It's like a toothache - the longer you leave it the worse it gets. Better to pull the tooth and go through that little bit of pain now and get it over with.

All the best with it - he sounds a right d*ckhead.

Answer 7

It's clear you should step back for a while. Explain why are you doing this and if he's not willing to listen then it's his problem. Make him understand what he's doing to you. If the communication is lost then the relationship is hanging from a string.

Then again... 2 years? Maybe he just wants some air..

:)

Answer 8

leave, depressed or not he shouldent be treating u like this, i have suffered from depression and i never once thaught of treating my boyfriend like an idiot or someone i should look down on, u deserve to be treated with dignity and respect tell him u will always be there for him if he needs to talk about his depression but u just cant cope with the problems that the relationship is causing

Answer 9

If there is something holding you to him such as financial then it is not easy. You will have to learn what to say and when. Keep to yourself and be lonely. If you do not need him for the money then when you get home find your own way and leave him to his miserable self. There are plenty others out there. Do not think you are in love with him because you are not.

Answer 10

Dont put up with this any more.Get out of this relationship and spend a bit of time on your own and making your self feel happy again!!He sounds like a right pig and doesnt deserve you!!Dont worry one day you will meet someone who will treat you just like you want to be treated!!Dont let him make you feel like this anymore!! x