i have been seperated from my husband for 3yrs, I would like to get divorced but we are still really close friends and maybe I think there might be something there. Do I just move on or suggest we try again as we have children together.
2006-09-28 22:21:54 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we seperated because he was seeing someone else while i was expecting our 2nd child. we have been married for 11yrs
2006-09-29 01:32:49 · update #1
I would give it a chance, apparently you do still love him or you wouldn't ask the question. You have nothing to loose, and if it doesn't work you can always say you tried, and you wont have to live with the "what if" syndrome.
2006-09-28 22:26:33 · answer #1 · answered by Lindamarie 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This is a personal question you have to ask yourself, and I am sure that you have already done so, multiple times.
Examine why you seperated in the first place. Try to do this honestly, from your own point of view. Have things changed? How have they changed? Have the issues that caused the trouble been resolved?
After thinking about these things on your own, speak to him as well and ask for his opinions. While it would be wonderful if you two could get back together, especially with children involved, it would be quite horrible if you got back together only to break up again because the underlying problems were not adressed.
2006-09-28 22:30:04 · answer #2 · answered by Cerri 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by 'close' friends?!!
If you still feel the vibes, you should be together. But again, if there were proper vibes you two would never have spearated in the first place...so I suggest you move on unless you think you separated for an idiot clause (like which TV channel to watch!)
You should analyse this yourself...possibly get together and discuss...your children need both of you and it is unwise and unhealthy to even have children if you felt there was something wrong.
It is not only your life but all of your lives! So think for the all of you!!
The needs of the many outweight the needs of the few.
2006-09-28 22:29:50 · answer #3 · answered by Cyrene J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've been separated for 3 years!! He's probably dating others. Are you? A lot of people divorce and still remain friends. You need to ask him how he feels.and quite frankly, this should have been done years ago. If he says he'd like to keep things the way they are, then you are giving his cake WITH the icing, with no commitment to you. You don't say if he's supporting your children. It's time for both of you to make a decision. Either he wants to be married to you and act accordingly, or he doesn't. If he doesn't, then you know what to do. Life is too short to live under such circumstances.
2006-09-29 00:32:57 · answer #4 · answered by Blondie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've been apart for 3 years, then you know the answer. You can remain good friends, but go see a lawyer and get things rolling. As things are standing now, he has no legal obligation to pay maintenance for the children, so he's getting the best of both worlds!
2006-09-28 22:29:24 · answer #5 · answered by Sabi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is something you really need to talk to him about. You stayed married for this long right? Just ask him how he would feel about trying again...maybe moving back in. And if he is somewhat hesitant for whatever reason, then you know you have to move on. No point in hanging on to someone like that. You can still be friends and he can still be there for the kids, just know you and the kids come first and you have other options. Who needs men anyway?
2006-09-28 22:25:18 · answer #6 · answered by Amynesiac 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Speak to him to see if he wants to get back togethe r- or at least give things a try. If he does then see a marriage advisor. If not, then dicvorce and move on but stay friends for the sake of the children
2006-09-28 23:00:21 · answer #7 · answered by Leiani 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT DEPENDS ON UR FEELINGS FOR HIM. IF U THINK U LOVE HIM STILL AND IT'S WORTH IT, THEN TRY GETTING BACK WITH HIM. BUT IF U WANNA DO IT ONLY FOR THE CHILDREN U HAVE TOGETHER, THEN U WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. U R SEPERATED, RIGHT? THEN U MAYBE HAD A GOOD REASON TO DO IT.
2006-09-28 22:28:13 · answer #8 · answered by Stella 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've been apart for 3 years then cut the ties. You both need to move on and find the right mate but that doesn't mean you can't be friends. What are you holding on to?
2006-09-28 22:35:43 · answer #9 · answered by Sybel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Follow ur heart,3yrs is a long time.It's good that u'v stayed friends
Talk 2 him c how u guys feel n wateva u decide make sure it's 4 da best4 u n ur kidz.Good luck
2006-09-28 22:26:41 · answer #10 · answered by soft heart 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move on...3 years and not back together..there is a reason for that or you would of been back together a long time ago.
2006-09-28 22:48:16 · answer #11 · answered by Mommadog 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋