i'm 18 now but ever since i was 14 i knew that i'm gay and when i was 17 i tried coming out to my mom at first she seemed really understanding and open minded but the next day she sat down next to me and handed me a cross necklace and said she thinks im posessed and she wants me to wear the necklace all the time.
she told me i just need to put god in my life and it hurts her that i don't believe. and i just went along with her i was stunned i couldn't talk she was acting just as my grandmother would and shes crazy
she even gave my college money away because she thought im a satanist just because im a goth. any way after what my mom said i went to a friends house and took off that necklace and stayed a couple days.
later mom wanted me to find a girlfriend.
so i asked my friend stacy who is bisexual to pretend to be my girlfriend and she did for 5 months befor we staged a break up.
now my mom think's i'm straight and shes comfortable saying the f.a.g word in my presence once again
2006-09-28 20:47:57 · 16 answers · asked by Absurdly_insane_13 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
and it sickens me that she didn't accept me.
it's not very comfortable in my closet
2006-09-28 20:50:03 · update #1
Hey kidd, I feel for you, I know where you are coming from and I have been there too. I hope you take a good look at your surroundings and it all works out for you, go to college and make the best of it, "DON'T" loose focus to whats important to you, some people change and some people don't and many are ignorant...do your best and be your best and I hope it all works out for you...
2006-09-28 21:09:20 · answer #1 · answered by joy ride 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Set her straight. So to speak. She has no right to control your life. Just because someone had you doesn't mean you have to follow in their footsteps. She knows deep down you are still gay and the only one hurting is yourself. You need to draw a line and find out how to be self sufficient and get a place of your own. You cannot live that way. I had the same exact problem and once I said you can accept me or not then I had the power. It isn't easy. But damn let me tell you the only regret I have is not doing it earlier!! Congrats on telling her in the first place at 18!! I was almost 22!!! Ask your mom this? Is she wanting to sleep with a girl? Does that make it better in gods eyes? Ask her what exactly makes her the god expert?
2006-09-29 02:49:38 · answer #2 · answered by Karrien Sim Peters 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI.
Um, mothers who call people f.a.gs in front of their kids that they know are gay while claiming to be godly and xtian are not being consistent and are being rotten parents.
I agree with the other poster - finish high school, get the school money back, get a job and get out of town. Oh and drop the goth stuff - you'll get more action, trust me.
When you are a bit older and have lived your life on your own terms a bit you can tell her off/ or simply tell her that she hurt you. I wouldn't forgive her, but I would get over it once I'd got my life together.
Don't make believe anything else - lying doesn't help and just creates more drama. I can guarantee you she will use it against you as a way to avoid her own responsibility later. Just be yourself.
You know who you are. There are lots of young men for you to become friends with who are gay or at least kind and that you can get support from until you are ready to make an adult life for yourself.
good luck.
oh - and when you start having sex practise safe sex. condoms are cheap and save lives. you can get them free lots of places too.
~radtam (safe sex lesbo-fairy)
2006-09-28 21:25:50 · answer #3 · answered by radtam55 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are very brave, you need to sit down with you mother and explain more about the guys and the gay world to her. You are still the same person you have always been, you are still her son, she just doesn't understand about the gay scene and you should either get some brochures or print some stuff off the Internet. But just be yourself. Grow into the person you want to be. It would be nice if your mother accepted you as gay, but you are still her son.
go to college get your education and be proud , weather your in the closet or out.
2006-09-30 06:22:06 · answer #4 · answered by jumpinjackdw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the former wife of a gay man who never warned me about his same sex attraction before we married. He's still in the closet.
I'm sorry that you're going through this and that your mom reacted that way. As you get older, you will feel more brave and accepting, yourself, about who you are, and you won't let others' reaction inhibit you as much. It's very natural to want to please your parents or avoid getting hassled by them. But you can't be someone you're not, no matter who else wishes you would. Trying to do that just messes you up worse. I do understand your keeping it quiet, at this stage of things.
You're not possessed, and God loves you no matter who you're attracted to. You ARE a person of value.
It's not much comfort to you, I know, but some people are just not very broadminded, whether the issue is homosexuality or whatever. I'm a middle aged adult woman, and my mom and siblings more or less threw me out of the family over my getting divorced. It hurt worse than losing my ex, at first. Now I just have decided that if that's where they're at, I can't let them hurt me any worse, and I just emotionally tap them over to the periphery of my life. It's sad, but at this point, it's their loss.
2006-09-28 20:53:00 · answer #5 · answered by catintrepid 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the poster who is the wife of a guy in the closet. You will be more comfortable with yourself as you get older. Just finish school and try to secure your future. Your mother will come around. Everything will make more sense as you start talking with people who are out of the closet and comfortable with themselves. Trust me, I have been there.
Good luck and you have nothing to worry about. You are your own person.
2006-09-29 06:13:30 · answer #6 · answered by Yikes! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww...that would b really hard...well im still in the closet im 16 i xperienced with a friend of mine when i was 12 & ever since then it just got strong i started checkn other girls out & like then wen i was 14 i started sayin too my self like "wow she's hot" or somthing but in this town i live in its very small & words get around fast & my family thinks its a sin to b with the same sex or w.e & that hurts because i can't be myself i wanna be able to be with who ever i want & not want to be labeled as somthing...
2006-09-29 10:49:38 · answer #7 · answered by CuTiE WiD A WhOle LoTtA Bo0ty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a 37 year old male and still am in closet about being bi. My girlfriend has no idea. I am just not comfortable enough with it to tell anyone except two women I am close friends with.
2006-09-30 12:00:02 · answer #8 · answered by metalheadny69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have your "ex gf" come back and stage a "YOU'RE GAY?! FIGHT!" Actually, you should have her explain to your mother that you are gay. They way your mother doesn't give you that look that she'll give your ex fake gf. Then your mother will apologize, ask why you never said anything... and you never have to see the look of disapproval from her. IF SHE DISAPPROVES. Who knows. I say things I don't like when I really do.
2006-09-28 20:50:13 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all im sorry. It sounds like she will never accept who you are. I am Bi and honestly just because i feel my parents might act the same way I have never told them. honestly I dont think I will because its my life anyways and they dont apove of anything else I do.
2006-09-28 22:41:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋