my 7 year old will not do anything i ask even when i send her to her room she just says no?

Answer 1

well, you can start with: no more gifts, no more desserts, no more food just "because she likes it so much", no more TV, no more pocket money (if she gets any) - everything which is mentally stored by a kid as reward

Answer 2

I had the same problem. I think that 7 is the official "what's in it for me" age. I think that the older our kids get, we forget how important positive reinforcement still is to them. 7 year olds will make you miserable if you don't remember that quickly. Some of the suggestions so far seem good but I would avoid spanking. At this age peers become so important and between them and what you have taught, they have learned their own definitions for respect and disrespect. Even if their ideas are way off, they will know that spanking is disrespectful. Instead of telling her what she cannot do I would mention what she can do first. My child is really social so I will say: After you clean your room you can call . Talking on the phone is so grown up... another motivator for 7 year olds. If you don't think that will work, make your point or instructions very clear. State that you will not tolerate the undesired behavior and use praise to reward even the smallest good behavior. It's tiring but necessary. I feel bad when I use this one but if you have made your point and she still did not cooperate, leave her home and go somewhere without her. Tell her why she is not getting to go. I know it sounds mean but you shouldn't have to do it more than twice (as long as she is not having a good time while you're gone). Choose your battles wisely and then don't back down. Not all of your decisions should be up for discussion but it is nice to hear some of their views every now and then. You might be surprised and agree with some of the things your child has to say.

P.S. I had the same problem when I told my kid to go to the room so I started sending myself to my room. She hated it so much that we don't have that problem anymore.

Answer 3

you need to nip this in the bud now - when you ask her to do something tell her that if she doesnt obey there will be negative consequences for her - examples of these can be grounding her/ depriving her in participation of a hobby/ party - something she enjoys.
If after telling her this she still disobeys Id forcefully, but not abusively make her go to her room and ensure she stays there - even if it means locking the door.
She has to understand that you are the parent and that she cannot walk all over you - seven is far too young to be showing this type of defiance. If you dont stop this now - I worry about what she'll do when shes older and stronger.

Answer 4

my sister used to be exactly like that. My mom would cancel all of her play dates and she wasn;t allowed to watch any tv or read any ooks that weren't strictly for school. Show her that if she has that much ego, as an adult, you surely have much more. Plus it's your house, your rules. Tell her that when she's all grown up, she can make her own ruels, but for now she listens to you. Sow her who's boss. Or try silent treatment. Just carry on as if she wasnt there at all. That used to get my sister back into line. If you hit her, she'll only become more resentful towards you. Hope this helps =]

Answer 5

Stop asking. If she wants to act like a two-year-old, then she can be treated like one. Physically pick her up and place her in her room if you are capable. Require constant supervision and refuse priviledges as long as she is sassy. I don't care much for spanking, but if nothing else will get it into her head, do it with your hand.
It may be hard because in some cases society is getting soft on kids and is into a big "bonding" phase, but it's more important to raise a respectable adult than be buddies with your kids. So let her know who the mature person is.

Answer 6

Ban the word no and tell her each time she says it shes in trouble - shes trying to find her boundaries with you, there clever at that age and you have to play her at her own little game - think of the things she really likes to do and use this if you have to - Sorry I don't believe in the whacking, spanking or hitting as in some of the other comments I don't feel there's a need for this at all even though its tempting sometimes.

Answer 7

mistake no. 1...don't ''ask'' a 7 yr old anything.. that lets them think they have a choice.. you must TELL them what you want done. Tell them once what you want done... if they ignore or say no you tell them again an then tell them there will be consequences if they disobey you eg no tv / play station AND FOLLOW THROUGH...ALWAYS. Your child will get the message fairly quickly that it's in THEIR interests to do what YOU want. Praise them when they do follow through. Trust me this will work but only if you follow through on everything you say. Good Luck !

Answer 8

Personally this is what I would do to her if she didn't mind me at all. I know a parent or no one is suppose to "spank" their child now as that is considered child abuse but I'm thinking that is what she really needs. You show her who is the boss of you 2. Ground her from t.v. or what ever she likes to do. Maybe take her and go see a counselor and try to work things out. Good luck.

Answer 9

Don't just beat the child.. That will land you in jail O.o.
You have to make sure she knows why your hitting her.

If she says no.. Give her verbal threats.. If she continues to say no put her in time out and make sure she doesnt move.. After a minute leave the room and she if she moves.. If she does spank her.. And make sure you tell her why shes being spanked. If you don't she might not understand why your spanking her and it could mess her up..

If you don't want to hit her.. Lock her in the bathroom with the lights out for 30seconds.. Try to scare her.. If that doesnt work.. I dunno.. Goodluck with handleing it.

Answer 10

strip her room of all things fun, no going to the park no, riding bikes, no sleepovers, be strict, if you dont she will grow to be a very bad person who has 2 kids by the time she is 15. let her know your the parent, and she will listen, catch it early, cause if you think defiance is bad now, give her 8 more years

Answer 11

You have a real problem on your hands. try having a heart to heart talk with her? try restriction? some times that works. Try not asking her, try just telling her to do it. Remember children live what they learn from adults and everyone else around them. Her actions are a learned behavior, so keep that in mind.