Ex partners lack of commitment?

Question

i had a violent relationship 6 years ago, and i got pregnant, and had a beautifull baby girl, i could'nt let her go through what i had to suffer,so we moved away.2 years later i had a letter from a solicitor saying i refused the father to see the little girl, the thing is he had our address and any time he phoned he was drunk, or having sex while on the phone, anyway this january the courts agreed for him to have contact every other saturday, plus they gave him parental responsibity,since then he has only seen her 6 times, while football was on he never saw her just saying to me 'you know what football meens to me, then yesterday he phoned up and said he cant have her because he's going on holiday, what do i do. i cancelled once and that is because she was in hospital and i had to get proff,she's only 5 and i am so sad to see her go through dissapointment please help

Answer 1

Document and record everything he says. Sooner or later, it will come in handy.

Answer 2

Be all you can be to her. Try not to speak bad about him but let her know that daddy has to take care of some things and when he gets them in order he'll be around all the time. Then let him know he needs to get his stuff together or you'll be going back to court. You have to think about what is worse for her not seeing him at all or seeing him while he's drunk and not paying attention to her? She deserves better and if he can't be a father to her, he shouldn't have any rights!

Best Wishes to your family!

Answer 3

take this back to court...he was offered these choices and he has not followed them up..if he calls you drunk again hang up...he is a low life calling yo when he's having sex with someone what would have happened if your daughter would have pick the phone up...5 year olds do know how to answer a phone...log everything that eh does in the future...he is not being responsible..and his football is not as important that his daughter...he's a very selfish little individual...did he offer to take your daughter on holiday...i bet he didn't....go back to court and tell them that he is not coming up with the goods...he does not deserve her....once she gets older she will want to know why he is not meeting up with his responsibilities, whats he going to say to her when he does not turn up for visitation...he's the one who's going to lose out here....clamp down and stand up for your rights as a mother....

Answer 4

My boys went through this. It is heartbreaking. And I couldn't believe it when I heard he was telling everyone he never saw his boys because I was turning them against him. He just couldn't be bothered. You can't make someone love their child. And of course, the reasons why he is an ex are very clear.
My friend, going through a similar situation, gets her husband to write down when he's coming, so she's got proof. She uses e-mail. I woulnd't tell your little girl when he's coming, either. I told my boys that they shouldn't expect anything. That didn't really help - they were convinced I was lying. Unfortunately, I was right. It does so much damage to their self-esteems. I'd also consider speaking to a lawyer. Believe me, this is very damaging.

Answer 5

Document everything that happens, but more importantly be there for your little girl and try not to give her dad a bad image just let it happen naturally as it will all come out in the end and good luck with bringing your little girl up and take good care of yourself too.

Answer 6

Visitation is not written in stone. Get a review done
Go back to your solicitor, tell them everything and go back to court. Ask for a CAFCASS Section 7 Report to be done. Question his mental capabilities, anything to support your case

Answer 7

File for a custody amendment. But before doing so document everything he does or rather doesn't do. Hell, Id file to nullify his parental rights period. And you can always leave the stipulation that when your daughter reach a certain age maybe 12 or so that the choice to contact him would be hers.

Answer 8

This is the nightmare that so many women are dealing with
let it be just be their for your litle girl when he cancels on her make the day special so she will not be sad
and one day out of the blue he will call and she will be the one who tell him pappy I don't live here no more
I am talking from experince
divorce with 3 children

Answer 9

just keep a diary of what he does and when, and then keep in contact with you solicitor, he will do the speaking to his solicitor, if i goes to court again, you've got dates and reasons, and that will stand, the judge will see that he worries more about himself than you and his daughter...

keep your chin up and stay strong, but whatever you do, and its hard, dont paint the father black in front your daughter, it may bite you on the bum when she is older...

Answer 10

i went though something similar wot i did is went back to the solictors told them about the lack of contact he told me to write down every time he seen her how log it was for and also wen he cancelled and for wot reason after acouple of months went back to court with a lot of prove to state that my child needs and deserves abetter life and if that means without him then so be it
i won and now i have met someone who spending every day with tthem they want for nothing
kids come first

Answer 11

keep a record of all the dates that hes missed and go back to your solicitor,if he keeps behaving like this i would try and put a stop to all contact as it is causing emotional distress to your daughter.