After they get to know me they realize I'm not arrogant, but I would like suggestions on how to change the way I come accross, because I don't know what I'm doing to give such a bad first impression.
2006-09-28 17:03:06 · 14 answers · asked by Celeste A 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I neglected to add that I give that impression before even opening my mouth.
2006-09-28 17:18:38 · update #1
1) Keep your mouth shut more times than it is open.
2) Realize people are going to be different than you.
3) Realize there are many ways to live life.
4) Realize that your way is good for you only.
But most importantly....
5) Speak to people the way you would like to be spoken to.
2006-09-28 17:05:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Arrogance is usually from 2 things. Insecurity or self absorption. If your so into yourself then why would anyone want you around?
The next time you meet someone remember their name and ask them about themselves and get to know them. Ask yourself if your the type of person that someone would want to be around.
Immature people usually get confidence and arrogance mixed up because it's not the same.
The great Jim Brown, Walter Payton and Emmitt Smith said that they never acted crazy after scoring a TD because they wanted to act like they'd been there. They also said that if you have to brag about what you do, then your not half of what you think you are.
You show nice character by even thinking about this question and wanting to improve yourself. Good for you; your on your way to becoming someone people will enjoy being around.
2006-09-28 17:14:00 · answer #2 · answered by Ice4444 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just sugar coat the bitter pills !
People actually feel it 'arrogant' mostly because there was already the lingering thought that you said may be perhaps true. You just spelt it out, making it more obvious !
Try out a simple thing to first negate it in an abstract way... they would ask for the subject / topic / details of 'what' is the issue that you feel you disagree, or negate.. then gently put the theory, and re-confirm that you are actually inclined to disagree with your own conclusions, but still are tempted to look at it together with them.. In this process, you are actually 'empathising' with their own defensive apprehensions, and it might give them an egoistic satisfaction to be the 'first' to confirm your so-called 'unfounded' doubts !
It is just diplomacy to keep up the good humour ! There is indeed a price to pay for this cosmetics !
2006-09-28 17:13:36 · answer #3 · answered by Spiritualseeker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be the way you present yourself. Sometimes if I see someone for the first time and they have a big smirk on their face it makes me think they're a little cocky or arrogant. It could be the way you walk or talk or dress or any number of theings really! It's really hard to say anything without having seen you before. Sorry!
2006-09-28 17:43:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a short simple book out there you should read
Skill with People; by Les Giblin
Now if this dosen't work then you may have realized that your life is not has you'd like and the only thing you can do is
CHANGE YOU
Nobody changes for your sake. Sorry to burst your bubble
2006-09-28 17:14:37 · answer #5 · answered by denise and family 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it could be your eyes. i feel that someone could have an arrogant air if when they look at someone, their eyes are "squinty" .. as if they're looking down on someone else. or even looking at someone else with their nose pointed a bit upward. try looking at them at eye level (hte best you can) or better to look up at them rather than down?
i guess if people get that impression before you even say anything, it must be the subtle body language.
2006-09-28 22:01:25 · answer #6 · answered by hello_out_there 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your friends about the way you behave and listen to their input about you. Maybe it's just the way you hold yourself or a certain look that you give.
2006-09-28 17:07:16 · answer #7 · answered by windandwater 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is ok to be arrogant if you are:
1) Smart
2) Attractive
3) Rich
4) Famous
Don't listen to those weak self esteem people.
P.s. I have plenty of friends. They find humor in my arrogance. But lets see the list of names I'm referred to as: cocky, arrogant, genuine, honest, as$h0le, jerk, funny, integrity, intelligent, nice. So its ok to be arrogant as long as you are a rounded arrogant person and can back up your arrogance. Be happy with who you are. Others percieve you as arrogant because they are not as confident, i.e. weak / self esteem issues. I have flaws but I accept them, and I work to better my strengths. If I were you, I would just find friends who are on your level and not intimidated by your personality.
2006-09-28 17:05:41 · answer #8 · answered by BillyBob 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Try not to be too opinionated . Resist the urge to " give advice " , even though it may be solicited .
2006-09-28 19:38:58 · answer #9 · answered by missmayzie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's arrogant of you to want to change their perception and not your behavior. :P
2006-09-28 18:21:08 · answer #10 · answered by Atropis 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋