He does not have a job, comes in and out whenever he wants. He leaves the house all day and doesn't come home til late or whenever he wants or is just always in and out. I pay most of the bills. I want to leave, but I'm scared, I wonder if I can handle it on my own, but then again I was on my own when he met me then he moved in w/ me. We moved to a new place since then. This is my first child and I wonder if I'm doing the right thing w/ my decision. Been with him for 3 1/2 yrs and it hurts to think if I have to leave him. Nobody's perfect, but should I be putting up w/ his crop. He's irresponsibility, no job, hanging out all the time, coming home late night or leaving late night, sleeping til' noon. He's 27 and I'm 26. I don't think he's cheating, but then again, I never know. That's the last thing I want to worry, besides all these other things that bothers me between us. I'm unhappy and getting depressed. I need some good advice and a good friend. Thanks in advance!
2006-09-28 15:40:05 · 32 answers · asked by alloutoflove 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, because you are pregnant, your main concern is your future baby and that's great! This baby will be all you think about for the next 18 years. So ask yourself, What is best for my baby? Should my baby have a irresponsible role model in its life or should I remove the irresponsible father figure? I think then you can answer your question. I think that if you became single you could find a better man and father figure for your child. As for supporting yourself,you seem to be doing a good job yourself. You could always ask someone in your family for a loan.
Good luck with your baby and your new life!
2006-09-28 15:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by starrchick101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was a single parent most of my daughters life. Many people thought they were helping me by trying to introduce me to potential husbands. Some of the men seemed more interested in themselves than in creating a family. As time went by, i adopted the idea that I could "do bad on my own". It took me a while to realize I could get further in life without a partner. As i grew stronger in my own individuality, the right person came along. There are more programs for single moms NOW than there were back then. Don't take the bad treatment of a man just because he is the baby's father.Give your baby the gift of a strong mom! Stand up for yourself! No one will be able to change your boyfriend except himself. If he is irresponsible now, when he needs to be preparing for a child, he will still be the same way when that child graduates! Save the child's heart from being broken and yours too. Get out and start a wonderful life for yourself and the baby! I wish you luck and hope God is with you.
2006-09-28 16:08:00 · answer #2 · answered by norma r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has no morals and no family values I cant believe you put up with that , was he unemployed when you met him even if not he is not father material or husband as well he doesn't seem like he has no worries he is living a blissfull life and you contintuing being with him supports his tastless habits that he is doing to you and the baby it is only going to get worse for you he is totally living off of you I had the same thing happen to me and I worked all the way to my pregnancy didn't even go on maternity leave because I had to pay bills and stupid me was supporting a low life that wasn't concerned about financial status especially when a baby was on the way you can do alot better without him if you continue on this relationship he will do this after baby is born and it just get tougher for you and then you are really in a mess right now would be the time to get out so at least you know you are focused on the new arrival in your life then to be hurt and walked on and be distracted by him you dont need misery you need to be attended to and very much loved at this point of pregnancy good luck with you and your child I hope you make the right decision do you and your mom have a good relationship if so you can always lean on her at these hard times if not a friend maybe I know it will be hard cause you were with him for awhile but seriously it gets harder if you dont do nothing about it now and you cant cry about it cause you doin nothing is totally supporting his bad habits he sounds like a loser you are better than that financially you can do it he isn't contributing now so why are you worried about it get rid of him good luck!
2006-09-28 16:02:42 · answer #3 · answered by dee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im so sorry youre going thru all this. He shouldnt be doing any of these things, especially while youre pregnant. Like you said, you were on your own when you met him, you can do it again. Plus, youll be happier with him not around, cuz you wont see him coming and going. I know that you dont want to believe hes cheating, but it sounds to me like he might be. Its so unfair to you. I know that I couldnt put up with it.
You will only get more and more depressed. If hes doing all of that now, he'll continue to do it after the baby is here. He'll want to leave more, cuz there will be more responsibility there.
If hes not working and coming and going all the time like he is, I cant believe you are still there, but Id probly do the same thing. Youre waiting to see if he'll change and so far he hasnt.
You are much better off without him. You can do it. You did it before. Just think how much better life will be without this guy coming in and out of your life when he decides he wants to be there. You could be with a man that wants to be there, and is excited to raise this child with you. That man IS out there. He may not be immediately, but he IS out there.
You sound like a really decent person and you know what hes doing is wrong. Do the right thing, get the hell out of there and quit dealing with this BS. You deserve better.
2006-09-28 15:52:10 · answer #4 · answered by ~~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, you have more in your shoulders than you should.. and being pregnant and single isn't easy, but it's a lot worse with a bum living at your expenses... Have you tried to talk to him about it?... tell him how you feel and ask him what he wants, if you want to have a family, tell him, ask him for support, but if he hesitates or you already know what will be his answer or action and you don't agree with it, just send him out of the door, and You can bet your sweet little A** that you can make it on your own... think if you want that man to be the father of your baby... the example to follow... sometimes, one is better off. You need to be relaxed for your baby... don't be scared, remember, we are the strong sex, why? simply because we can deal with pregnancy, giving birth, menstruation, menopause and MEN! Why do you think we can pull up with that? cause WE are the strong sex... emotionaly and mentaly speaking, you go girl! don't be afraid... sometimes, courage is a good engine to start a new life, and remember, as long as there's a new rising sun, there's hope! Show your baby the great Mother he or she have :D Cheer up and chin up! YOU can do it!
2006-09-28 16:00:59 · answer #5 · answered by guillermodm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is disrespecting you your relationship and your child if he really cared about you or your child he wouldn't treat you this way would he, he is selfish and only cares about what he wants, he has it good with you after all, it sounds like he has no responsibility its all on you, why do you need him around he isn't doing anything anyway you can do it on your own and find yourself a real man that will treat you and your child like you deserve don't settle for this loser or you will regret it! At least give him an ultimatum get a job treat me right or get out! Let him know you will be just fine without him maybe it will wake him up.
2006-09-28 15:51:32 · answer #6 · answered by BLUE EYES 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am guessing he is the dad, and I am sure you want your child to have a father but at the same time what kind of example would he be for the kid if he is conducting his self that way. I would put it all on the table and let him know what you feel needs improvement and he is getting to be a dad now like it or not so bacially ship up or ship out. you can be stressing on him right now you are going to need all your strength for the baby. good luck with this and as long as you have a support system like family and friends you will be alright, heck even lean on his family they owe it to the baby!!
2006-09-28 15:46:07 · answer #7 · answered by LaLa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I made it on my own pregnant at 16 then you can definitely make it ! what would you lose anyway just like you said he is never there so there is no emotional support and he doesn't work so you wouldn't be losing any money probably saving some.I would tell him to get his crap and leave and if he really loves you he will pull his head out of his a** and straighten up. if you keep letting him get away with being a lazy slob then he will never change, but sometimes it is just better to let go and it is allot less stressful in the long run trust me you would do great! good Luck and congrats on your little bundle of joy!
2006-09-28 15:48:25 · answer #8 · answered by freckleface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 20 when I got PG and I did it all on my own and my daughter is now 5. I had a lot of support & help from my family. It does take a village to raise a little one. Go with your gut cause you and your baby deserve the best. Don't wait till its too late. Make the change and get adjusted before the baby comes.
2006-09-28 15:42:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are unhappy and depressed that is not good for your baby. I would never tell you to leave but look at it like this, your already paying the bills by yourself. I will tell you this since you have allowed him to be this way it may never change. So ask yourself which is more important you being with a loser or your happiness?
2006-09-28 15:46:27 · answer #10 · answered by D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋