my son was totally committed to a girl, than she left him for another, but she still communicates with him, providing the other man isn't around. The man is openly trying to get his friends to do harm physically to my son,my son defends this girl and lays blame for it on the other man. what can i say to my son to get him to realiaze that she isn't the girl he thinks she is.he is so depressed and is not doing so well,what advice can i give him to help him see the truth about this girl, who calls him and admits she misses him, but when my son sees them out together the girl acts like she doesn't know my son.
2006-09-28 15:24:03 · 10 answers · asked by jude 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Honestly, give him advice from the bottom of your heart.
She turned out not to be the person you thought she was.
Let it go.
If she truly cares, she wouldn't have left you in the first place.
Don't let this ruin you.
I'm sorry to say, but your son will grow more cautious with women from now on. It will probably have a slightly negative effect on further relationships, but I think that this whole experience will help him realize he needs to "dig in" deeper before commiting himself to someone.
Best of luck. Be a good mother, but don't overdo it. :)
2006-09-28 15:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old your son is but I can see where it would be very depressing on him to be encouraged and then snubbed. If he loves her then he is only going to get on the defensive if you point out how she is treating him. It sounds to me like this girl wants to have her cake and eat it, too as the old saying goes. You may not can give your son any advice that he will heed but you may know someone else that he will listen to. Your son must realize deep down that she chose the other man over him and is still choosing him when she ignores him when he sees them together. It is bound to hurt his ego but maybe he will stop letting her rule his life and go on and find a person who is truly worthy of his affection. If he will talk at all to you, then just listen. If he is deeply depressed, get him some help like counceling. I don't want to alarm you but a young man in our community hanged himself this week over a girl who broke it off with him. Let him talk and if you pray, do so.
2006-09-28 15:54:11 · answer #2 · answered by garden lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation. Unfortunately, a lot of guys go thru this. A lot of women (not all though) like to have several guys "hooked" in case it doesn't work out with the one they are with. Unfortunately your son is "hooked". The only thing you can do is be there for him when he realizes that she is just keeping him around as a spare.
2006-09-28 15:28:27 · answer #3 · answered by bigbadwolf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, but there is absolutely nothing you can say to your son that will make him see what is truly going on. You can say anything and everything until you are blue in the face, but he will believe and feel what he wants to believe and feel. Its hard to see someone you care about in a situation such as this, but you have to let it go, and let your son find out for himself. He may get hurt, me may get angery, but he is the only one that can see what is going on...
2006-09-28 15:28:34 · answer #4 · answered by KG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. Well, obviously, your son is better off without her, but I think this may be one of those things he's going to have to figure out for himself. I think the best you can do is be a supportive mother and be there for him.
2006-09-28 15:27:21 · answer #5 · answered by buickluv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you say about her right now will not change his feelings towards her. Be a Mom....be ready for when he asks you for advice. When he does... tell him that he is an awesome person ...that you wish the best woman there is in this world for him- someone who loves him through her words and actions, because he deserves the best.
2006-09-28 15:39:25 · answer #6 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i was a kid my first love left me for my best friend, i was depressed and hurt and still wanted her for a long time. the best thing to tell him is that she is not worth his trouble. All she will cause him is pain. She sounds like the type that wants it all. he will realize on his own that shes just a tramp. oh and aboutr the harming of him. tell him to take on the leader. beat the leader and the soldiers go running
2006-09-28 15:28:45 · answer #7 · answered by Deeman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes time to heal and its best to let him figure it out himself, but do keep an eye on him...
u can also try and help him by getting him think about other things....i dont know how old ur son is but perhaps take him on vacations, new hobbies, join a sports team...meet some new girls!!
2006-09-28 15:28:05 · answer #8 · answered by Mr.Moo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be there for him, support wise, but stay out of it trust me. Hes a big boy and if you get in the middle I would be willing to bet on double drama.
2006-09-28 15:27:22 · answer #9 · answered by leannonme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be supportive to him and actually take him to family therapy they can help allot to realize hes better of with out her
2006-09-28 15:30:09 · answer #10 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋