Should a 13 year relationship end over a one night stand? But can I ever trust him again? Confused and hurt. Makes me think about doing the same thing so he can see how it feels. But can I live with myself?
2006-09-28 15:14:15 · 23 answers · asked by nclaura402 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are married don't play the get back game once yall took them vows all the games was suppose to go out of the window be the bigger person you don't want to have that on you chest he has to live the rest of his life knowing that he betrayed you and if he really is sorry and realized that he was wrong trust me it is eating him up inside its probably hard for him to live with himself you can deal with it but don't think for one second that it will be easy it will take time for you to get over it and to learn to trust him
2006-09-28 15:19:27 · answer #1 · answered by tpchick22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do the same thing, sweetie, that's just nuts.
Can a relationship survive infidelity? I'll try to answer your question by laying some ground work.
Marriage is four thing, I think: Admiration, Respect, Passion, and Trust. That said, I then ask you, with help from a counsellor, do you think you could ever trust this man again? Because all the rest of it fails, if you can never trust again. For sure right now you feel none of these things for him. But with help, and his promises, and several sessions, could you again? Before I would walk away, I'd certainly give it a try, especially after you cool off. Of course you are hurt and confused "How dare he!!!!" right? And you may get into counselling and several months down the road in it you just may say, "no goddamn way, can I stay". And several months down the road, your marriage may be stronger. It depends on what he feels, how he reacts, and if he too want to save your marriage....
Helpful? Need more? write me.
2006-09-28 15:27:12 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its very possible...time for him to kiss your butt awhile and just go about your lives. Time heals wounds...it may take a long time but with or without couseling if you both try you can make it work. Ive been through stuff and it hurts but the once a cheater always a cheater saying i see so often is closed-minded. Do whats best for you and take time with it if you need. Sure youre angry, confused and hurt but you will be if youre divorced too. Time to really communicate with him and straighten things up. You can live with yourself if you give him a 2nd chance...might not be able to if you end it and are lonely and in a worse position. Good luck.
2006-09-28 17:47:43 · answer #3 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to get past a cheating spouse. But it takes time a a lot of work to restore the trust; it may take a lot of counseling. Going out and doing the same thing won't make it better.
2006-09-28 15:43:46 · answer #4 · answered by dreday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a 13 year relationship the is defainitly something there. yes it will be hard to trust him agian he messed up. but you have to think to yourself do you want this relationship to continue or let go. was this just a moment of weakness or signal of dying relationship. communication is going to be the key to deciding the fate of this relationship. revenge is not always the answer. you need to think about what is going on and the problem and what you would want the outcome to be before you make a decesion you will regret.
2006-09-28 15:22:17 · answer #5 · answered by OB the Wolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a sick feeling in the pit of ones stomach. Emotions of HURT,ANGER and HATE. oozes out of one. If it took one night for them to do this how important is the relationship to the adulter.
They never change. What gave me comfort was the following.
" Can a man scoop hot coals in his lap and not burn his clothing, can one walk on hot coals and not get ones feet scorched. So is it with he who sleeps with another man/womans, wife/husband.
They will not go unpunished" Check out Proverbs 2. You stay focussed, remember there aint no light at the end of the tunnel. If there is it probably a train coming on to smash you. AAAH. You are the LIGHT in the TUNNEL. You make things happen for yourself and if you have kids. Be proactive and not reactive
2006-09-28 22:16:19 · answer #6 · answered by quinton p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a very good question,, and the answer depends on you alone. trust in my humble opinion must never be foresaken,, once trust has been lost there should be no going back,, everyone knows that we should all be forgiving,, and itsays in the bible turn the other cheek,, but you only got two cheeks,, and it says nothing about what to do after that,,remember the old addage,, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me,,i think that applies here,, to be made a fool of could be considered the same as untrustworthyness
2006-09-28 15:20:16 · answer #7 · answered by kewl69charger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is possible to overcome this.
The two of you need to go to counseling together, and if you need it individually also, do that for yourself. It will take some time to trust again, but don't rush it. You will both need to turn your trustworthiness into trust. Take things slowly, and talk, talk, talk!! Let him know your feelings. Hopefully he will sit there and take it like a man!
And what's good for the goose isn't always what's good for the gander! Don't even go there! It's his my bad, let it continue to be! Don't let go of your self respect becuz he was an idiot!
Good luck girl!!
2006-09-28 15:36:21 · answer #8 · answered by yokrem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 13 years if he hasn t left you and you haven t left him.. i may consider doing it back..and then changing things up in the relationship..only if you feel your both strong enough for forgiveness..if not your only going to help create a bigger hell.Life s too short.
2006-09-28 15:20:47 · answer #9 · answered by Sara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T END IT! 13 years is a lot of investment.
Sleep with his brother.
2006-09-28 15:19:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋