meaning that if a couple's (the husband and/or the wife) parents divorced, they are more likely to divorce too? I know that I see that a lot of abusers or people who are in abusive relationships had parents who were also abused or abusive. I hope I made sense.
2006-09-28 14:20:37 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, and I've seen a lot of counselors who believe that as well. You look to your parent's relationship as a guide to your own way of approaching your marriage.
Hopefully someone who's been a child of divorce would work extra hard to avoid it! The problem is they didn't see a loving supportive couple growing up, so they don't know how to be a good partner to someone else, and the cycle starts over.
Knowing you're coming from a crappy starting point helps by admitting you need to work extra hard to be a good spouse.
2006-09-28 14:26:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I sure think it can run in families. I know a family--the grandparents have been married since the tender ages of 13 and 17 and although still together created a divorce factory. Their four sons & daughters have all been divorced at least once. And, of their grandkids, the four who are old enough to have been married, are also divorced. I'm not aware of physical abuse in any of these cases, just unhappiness and a lack of knowledge of how to be happy. But a great level of optimism. Every single one is married again and some of those are really supportive, happy marriages so even though divorce may run in the family it's not permanent fixture.
2006-09-28 21:28:18 · answer #2 · answered by v2iguana 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes! I think that it runs in the family, because that is what the children grow up seeing. In fact, I believe that they get married thinking that if it doesn't work out, then divorce is a natural occurance, and they don't have as much of a problem with divorce and people who did not come from a broken home. I don't think that these people value or take marriage as seriously. They are not brought up to see the same value in a commitment to one person for the rest of their lives.
2006-09-28 21:34:20 · answer #3 · answered by Evie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is a consequence of behavioral tendencies that occur in the relationship. Both the husband & wife come to the marriage with learned behaviors from their family of origin. They learn how to communicate, interact with one another, etc..from their primary caregivers, ( usually their parents.) They also learn ways to deal with conflict, anger, and all other emotions that manifest in the home. So, if two people join together bringing all the garbage they've witnessed in their formative years into this new realtionship...there will likely be some of the same patterns that occured in their parents relationship acted out in their union. It is possible for two people, ( who come from leass than perfect familes) not repeat the patterns of their parents failed relationships. It takes eduaction & training. The same applies to the cycle of violence that can occur in families and be seen as being passed down from generation to generation. Certain personality tendences can be inherited, however much of human behavior is learned. And new ways of interacting in relationship can be learned but usually professional help is needed to guide the individuals away from self destruction. A trained discipled coach, ( therapist ) can only help those who can acknowledge their problems & are willing to commit to the work it takes to make their lives better.
2006-09-28 21:35:12 · answer #4 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one in my family (from my siblings on back) have never had a divorce in the family so sure it would be hard to be the first because they wouldn't understand.
I think people who fail in their marriage are happy when they see other people fail.. it makes them feel more "normal".
Seeking and staying in an abusive relationship is probably learned. It probably seems normal and most that stay, like being martyrs, it makes them feel "oh look at poor me".
2006-09-28 21:29:58 · answer #5 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce does run in my family, but not like you may expect. My mom and dad never divorced and were married 53 years. However, they SHOULD have divorced. They hated each other. They lived in separate levels of the house.
My sister and I have both been divorced. We did not want to live in a marriage filled with hate the way our parents did. So in a way our parents influenced our decisions to divorce by not divorcing themselves.
2006-09-28 21:25:14 · answer #6 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes I think divorce runs in the family. Both of my aunts have been divorced,both my uncles have been divorced,my mom has been married 5 times, my brother has been divorced, all my cousins but 2 have been divorced,my grandma has been divorced. So yeah I think divorce runs in the family and it is sad but true.
2006-09-28 22:48:35 · answer #7 · answered by Dixie H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, no I don't believe divorce run in the family, my uncle got a divorce because of a reason which I'm not going to mention, if it wasn't for that problem, he probably wouldn't have gotten divorced, his daughter got a divorce because her husband had a stupid reason. But I don't believe divorce run in the family, because if divorce run in the family, there would be alot more divorced couples than we already have now.
2006-09-28 21:24:55 · answer #8 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that it is a more likely occurrence if the parents of a person are divorced for that person to use divorce to solve his or her problems. It is not so taboo, if it has already happened with in the family.
2006-09-28 21:23:37 · answer #9 · answered by Answergirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if divorce is considered ok then I guess you could say it is....some people do do it a lot. Kind of goes along with your parents handing down their morals to their children.
2006-09-28 21:23:27 · answer #10 · answered by WitchTwo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋