My husband and I haven't spoken to each other in 3 weeks, more or less(literally not spoken). I can't stand being around him cause he pays no attention to me. We live in another country and in Oct. I'm planning a trip to visit fam in the US. I'm thinking of using that trip to just up and leave forever. I really can't stand the indifferance and I actually for the first time enjoy the attention men give me. I'm a nice person (I think) but I feel unappreciated around him. So the question is.. will he even care if I up and leave? Should I even do it? "Talking things through" is simply out of the question. Wont work.
2006-09-28 13:41:42 · 10 answers · asked by gumby and pokey 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have already emotionally abandoned your marriage and are entertaining thought and attention from other men. Have the decency to divorce your husband before you act on it. Tell your husband that you don't intend to come back for whatever your excuses are. You can't develop a relationship with anyone else unless you are completely unencumbered. That isn't fair to them either. You will become like those married men who say.."My wife just doesn't understand me....I'm in the process of getting a divorce...."
End it first.
2006-09-29 03:19:24 · answer #1 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up! You don't say what the argument was about, but we men tend to.... close down when we are upset to avoid any more arguments. From a guys point of view, we figure that when you are good and ready to talk again you will. I know this sounds stupid but we men are very simple minded, and you are probably thinking that he will talk to you when he is ready. Mean while no one is talking and the longer this goes on the bigger the problem becomes. He thinks that he is correct about the argument so you should be the first to break the silence and you are thinking the same. What is the important point here? your happiness and marriage or proving who is correct? Move beyond this trap and save your marriage, you can still be happy and married! I know this first hand from personal experience. Good Luck!
2006-09-28 21:50:36 · answer #2 · answered by Archangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe instead of leaving forever, before you leave either tell him, or put in writing what's bothering you and how you feel about the marriage. Ask him to think about it while you're gone and make sure you call him while you're gone and see if he can give you good reasons for you to stay together. Maybe some time apart is all you need.
Personally, I have a spouse who is not very talkative and when something is bothering him (even if it's not me) he just doesn't speak because he's upset. That is very hard to deal with and you feel alienated. But you'd be surprised to find, as I was, that he just didn't think about how much that bothered me or how it makes the situation appear to others. Just something to think about.
2006-09-28 21:25:00 · answer #3 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know you have done everything to save your marriage, then yes walk out of that door and do not turn back, but if you have not put 100 percent into it, this may hunt you, later on in life you may go through, did I try hard enough? Did I give 100 percent to have this marriage saved. Once you walk out of that door, you want to feel that this is it and there is no regrets or turning back, and you are ready to start a new life without him. You have do doubts and no questions about the action you are taking. So Be Strong and do what you need to do.
2006-09-28 20:50:20 · answer #4 · answered by Brezzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe in fighting fire with fire. You both not talking to each other is just that. Before you take such drastic measures, I would be honest with him about your feelings and the reasons why you are feeling the way you do. If you can't talk to him then write him a letter. If you walk away, you may regret doing so in the future. But remember you must be TOTALLY honest with him. If after your attempts you have gained nothing then you must do what you must do for your sake.
2006-09-28 20:58:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That situation just sounds weird. Visiting family in the US and calling it quits sounds like a plan!! Get out now - and meet someone who really cares about you!
2006-09-28 20:55:39 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you gotta do. If you're not happy now you will never be...things will just get worse, you will end up hating him b/c you wasted so much of your life with him and not the real love of your life. I say if you're not happy...find someone who will make you happy.
good luck
2006-09-28 20:44:20 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've tried to talk and he doesn't want to, then you have no obligation to keep trying. If you don't have a real marriage, then why are you staying?
2006-09-28 20:50:27 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there, talk it out no matter what. Tell him how you feel and kick it to him straight.
Good luck
2006-09-28 20:43:47 · answer #9 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are looking for permission to cheat.
Love to hear HIS side of the story........
2006-09-28 20:54:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋