hey how can i stop feeling guilty for my friends death?? i know me and her have been best friends since like 2nd grade and saturday my friend killed herself..and since we got into highschool i had to go to a different school but me and her always hanged out when we had the chance. i also talked to her that day when she killed herself saying we'll meet up so and so but it never happened..and i didnt know she killed herself until monday people from my old school called me up telling me all kinds of $hit saying its my fault she did it and i shouldve been there and everything..and it hurts cuz she was like my sister and i dont know what to do cuz of everyone tell me $hit cuz of her....
so what should i do
2006-09-28 13:18:19 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
it wasnt your fault, so dont blame yourself
i hope you feel better
2006-09-28 13:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Listen to me okay because I have been in this situation. My best friend, loved her like a sister, we went to the same school and I moved schools and so she did it because I did it, moved schools that is. The school we moved from was a really Good school, like very hard to get into, but it was just to hard for me. And she only left cuz I did. A year later I had to move to another state, my mom told me if I had stayed at the other school because it was such a good school we might not have moved. After I moved she didn't have anyone to hang out with and she met some really bad people, and ending up dying when she was with them. This is the Hardest thing that I have ever gone through, and I'm still not over it and it's been over a year since she died, but because of what my mom had said, and because after I moved she didn't have anyone to hang out with, I felt like it was my fault, because if i hadn't left that school neither would she, then she wouldnt have met those guys. But, I went to a therapist, and she told me, to STOP beating myself up about it because she is a big girl and she made her own discisions, that I had to let go becaue no matter what, I couldnt have walked through life holding her hand and telling her "no" to all the bad things in life. That while yes if we hadn't moved maybe it wouldnt have happened, but she still would have made her own descisions.
SO, Stop beating yourself up okay? No matter how close you were, no matter how much you loved her, you couldnt hold her hand through life and make her descisions for her, It's not your fault, no matter what ANYONE says to you. You can't make a person do something that horrible to themselves. I know that me telling you this wont automatically make you feel less guilty, but I really hope it helps some, It will really take time, and I promise you time is all that will make you realize that it is not your fault. And I'm not just saying this, it really isn't your fault.
If you don't have anyone to talk to, even though you don't know me, sometimes an outside person can help, so please email me if you want okay at rainyskyz10@yahoo.com
2006-09-28 20:45:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to your parents and possibly your school counselor as well. The death of someone so close is bound to have you feeling sad and upset. I am sure there are many people blaming themselves or trying to blame others because they want to be angry at somebody for the death of someone who was so young. It is no ones fault, but it is a terrible tragedy and you need support right now, not criticism. Talk about your feelings. Remember the good times you had and cry until you can't cry anymore. Don't try to bottle it up and don't blame yourself. She had parents and other Friends and was making plans to see you. How could you have known? Don't blame yourself- grieve and let it go. Good Luck
2006-09-28 21:19:28 · answer #3 · answered by therealprinsess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel guilty you did not know she was going to kill herself. Let the stuff they are telling you roll off your shoulders it's not your fault remember that. And also if you had known she was going to do it you would've talked her out of it. They are just blaming you because you was close to her and they really don't want to come to the fact that maybe there were people at her school that done something to her that made her not want to deal with it anymore. There's plenty of opinions but no answers. Sorry for the loss of your friend.
2006-09-28 20:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by db 4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This friend of your meant a lot to you and you may need some counselling. Is there a counsellor at your school who can talk this through with you/ Everyone feels some sort of guilt when they lose someone and its probably because they are upset that t hey are trying to blame someone. Its not your fault-you didnt know how desperate she was feeling. Why didnt they help her then? Its very very sad but dont blame yourself. Get some help.
2006-09-28 20:23:27 · answer #5 · answered by angeldust 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww, it's not your fault you didn't know what will happen. Those people shouldn't say it's your fault without a good reason. Just ignore them. It's sad when you lose a friend. Go see her family and try to talk to them about her. If they don't want to then don't. You need to talk to any other close friends. However, if you don't have another one, talk to a counselor. I will be praying for you.
2006-09-28 21:40:48 · answer #6 · answered by Kenneth S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off all its not your fault. You went to different schools but still talked and hung out with the girl. No one can blame you for being her friend. I think they just have so much grief it is easy to place it on the person she was closest to. Its not your fault you were her friend and were there for her when she needed it. I sincerely hope things get better for you.
2006-09-28 20:22:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can do but ignore them. your friend must have been considering suicide for a while and you had no control of what she did. it's not your fault. when bad things happen people always want someone to blame. this time they are blaming you. just hang in there it will pass in time.
2006-09-28 20:21:26 · answer #8 · answered by mommysrock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey what i think is that what happen with your friend it was not
your fault maybe she had other problems that she didnt want any
body to know be be strong and just remember her always and dont feel guilty.
2006-09-28 20:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by Lucero B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww hun, it is NOT your fault! Unless you are psychic, there would have been no way to predict what happened. You need someone to talk to, like your parents, other family member, school counselor, teacher, priest...anyone. Express your feelings, how you feel is normal.
2006-09-28 20:23:08 · answer #10 · answered by **KELLEY** 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
F u c k those ppl that s h i t aint yo fault dont listen 2 um there is nuttin u culda done and it was her choice not yours 505 NM Farmington
2006-10-06 10:40:45 · answer #11 · answered by Chris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋