my home is near my ex-wife and i plan to get married soon. already i came across my in laws and i am sure i will come across my ex-wife in a restaurant or in a park? how do i handle when i am alone and when i am with my wife?
2006-09-28 11:49:06 · 16 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow.. that question brings back memories. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I did. My divorce was relatively friendly, so it was uncomfortable at first when we would meet in public but I treated my ex with respect and friendlyness (at arms length). My new wife was cordial as well and that helped. We would exchange pleasantries (hello etc) and keep on going.
If you are alone, be pleasant but just keep the ex at arms length. It will save you alot of problems.
2006-09-28 11:56:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should always conduct yourself in a respectable manner. Politely nodding and saying 'hello' should be sufficient. You don't really need to run for the hills when you see her, nor do you need to run up to her and start a conversation. Just be an adult about it and act as if you were running into an old friend. You know that when we do run into old friends, we make a decision right there and then if we are going to say hi and ask how they are doing or just wave and go about our business. Surely you two aren't at each others throats and can be civil. I think you are worrying over something that really you should just relax about. Don't stress yourself out over this, time makes all things better.
2006-09-28 18:54:18 · answer #2 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Introduce your new wife to your ex by saying, "name of ex, I'd like you to meet my wife & then new wife's name. If you & new wife have talked about your ex (surely you have) then new wife will know that is your ex. If not be sure & tell her privately as soon as you can. You do not want to give her the impression that you're keeping something from her.
I had been divorced 6 yrs. when I met my present husband (in a different town). When they finally met, my ex had helped us by arranging hotel accomodations for us as were going to attend my son's wedding. After we moved back to that town, we would have Christmas dinner at my ex's house (he hasn't re-married.) It made it possible for us both to enjoy our kids & grandkids without tension. Sometimes, the two of them would gang up on me to tease me about something. There is no jealousy or animosity between them. I'm not saying they are the best of friends but they are both members of the same family & get on very well. Even do favors for one another from time to time. There is no reason for there to be awkwardness between you, your wife & your ex.
2006-09-28 20:21:16 · answer #3 · answered by mazell41 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alex my ex hub and I are friends we agreed to ignore each other when there is ex in laws involved however If I saw him with his new GF and he said Hi I would say Hi back better yet if your ex wife and you are not on the best terms then ignore each other too or call her and asked her how she would feel if she saw you moved on with a new wife good luck
2006-09-28 18:52:16 · answer #4 · answered by AngelVirgo9206 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
always always always if the encounter happens try and make sure your wife is there and i know somtimes thats not possible for her to physcally be there but you need to be her representative -or so to speak. the ex and her family should feel the presence of your new wife always and your new wife needs to know that she was there. you talk about her (always postively) every time you have a conversation with the ex and family even if she is with you. but if she is with you she is to be right beside you never behind or off to the side to far (very close) before you ever open your mouth to say a word the ex and family should already feel your wife is there see that you and your new bride are a united front.... never allow your exwife to say or do anything that used to be somthing cute or funny between you if your ex says somthing funny and your new wife is present then its not funny unless the new wife laughs. never never never enter into a conversation with any one at any time that is of a personal conversation (intiment or ortherwise) with your wife there or not, if they have somthing that is personal or private then it needs to wait till your new wife is there and able to be included as she is one with you and nothing is too personal or private from her... be very united and unwilling to allow any one to devide either of you. congrats and best wishes to you and yours
2006-09-28 19:11:47 · answer #5 · answered by joe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be a polite gentleman. That's all. Say hello, inquire about her health, introduce your new wife, and move along. Common courtesy and treating her respectfully will make you look good.
(ps If your wife-to-be thinks you should be anything less, then I'd prepare myself for some conflict.)
2006-09-28 18:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always pay your new wife the respect to introduce her to the ex wife. After that it's just whatever follows.
2006-09-28 18:51:59 · answer #7 · answered by joy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Acknowledge the ex with a hello and no more. And ALWAYS make sure you have your arm around current wife when you do so....
2006-09-28 18:51:25 · answer #8 · answered by daj11551 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You behave civil and w/ class. Whatever the situation, don't be rude yet, don't take no mess either. Why do you care if you come across her? She's your past! Be concerned with present and be happy.
2006-09-28 18:56:32 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. Ladeshug 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be amicable with or with out your wife there is no reason to be mean to anybody
2006-09-28 18:57:01 · answer #10 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋