The rain made her lonely.
It always had.
Imagining herself out there-covered by droplets, her body caressed in the downpour…
it made her want a friend there with her,
someone who loved her,
someone who would take her in their arms-
in the rain.
The rain made her lonely,
and it would continue to do so until the day she had someone with her in the deluge
Someone to listen to those euphoric drops hitting the ground.
Someone to love her.
In the rain.
2006-09-28 11:46:36 · 12 answers · asked by PeacefulThunder 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
It's a nice idea. Keep writing. The key to good writing is practice. I wrote hundreds of poems before I actually started getting a few really good ones. Just remember to be specific with imagery and a poem should flow more, especially one about rain
let the words
kind of
fall
like rain droplets
You obviously have the emotion & creativity to be a poet, so keep at it!
:)
2006-09-28 11:51:10 · answer #1 · answered by amp 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Stay out of the rain!
Out there you'll be alone
Drenched, cold and without a soul
To share your fears
And listen to your tales.
Come into the shelter
Where warmth and love awaits
A shoulder to cry on
If you seeked.
Let's share the sounds of raindrops hitting the ground
Let love be found
Reached out for my stretched hand
But not in the rain!
:-)
2006-09-29 04:17:01 · answer #2 · answered by TK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SWF with a fetish for outdoor exhibitionism and a flair for dramatic vernacular in standard pentameter, seeks male of the species(not picky) for possible breeding and watersports
2006-09-28 19:02:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know...sounds too co-dependent sorry!
How about:
The rain made her lonley...but in that solitude...strength was born...in need of no one was the game...in standing alone there was not shame...
Something like that...
2006-09-28 18:52:43 · answer #4 · answered by stahomedad.com 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
that's pretty good, but one thing that'll perfect the rhythm, take out some of the unessential words that you used in excess, like: to do so, and in the deluge. just shorten that and it'll be perfect. :)
2006-09-28 18:52:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Congrats on having bravado enough to post this, keep it up.
2006-09-28 18:55:06 · answer #6 · answered by illogicalbeats 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds pretty heartfelt, which in my opinion makes the best poetry.
2006-09-28 18:50:53 · answer #7 · answered by Chrispy 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Beautiful...Describes me in a way...I like it lots... :-)
2006-09-28 18:49:15 · answer #8 · answered by Kathy© 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
it doesn't flow very well nor is it very deep... keep trying though.
2006-09-28 18:52:05 · answer #9 · answered by christy 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'm not going to read all that.
2006-09-28 18:47:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋