Did I fall out of love with my husband?

Question

I am married and don't get in the mood when I am around my husband. I do want to have sex with him, but he does not turn me on.
I am not even sure if I still have feelings for him. We hardly talk to each other because he gets home from work late. Could this be why I'm not into him as much?

Answer 1

poor baby

Answer 2

Marriage is a difficult path and sometimes we get so consumed with all the other things (work, family, friends, free time - what little there is-, cleaning the house, etc) that marriage becomes more of what it's always been: hard work. It's challenging on a marriage to feel the way you're feeling now - but it can get better if you want it to. Talk to him about not working so late, have one night a week (or every other week) dedicated to each other (go to dinner, go to a movie, stay home in bed, etc). Get experimental in your love life - new lingerie, candles, new ____ whatever you can think of. Remember what it was like when you just started being together and try and hold on to that while you're working on things. It's not all your responsiblity - he's gotta help too. Good luck!!

Answer 3

he is taking you for granted. either there is some one else. or he feels your mood and wonders if you have some one else. this is basic instinct, it so out of place in a relationship but it's the yin and yang of the way people are raised and to perceive each other. you can do this two ways right between the eyes, or sugar coated. but you put it to him and see what he does. there are thing that u are doing that turn him off, or is there no reason for it. most people don't know anything a bout the psychologies of in your face living together. what brought the guy in in the first place needs your attention and then you can ask him where's is his half of the ball game. awareness on both parts at the same time and the you be the peace maker. that why we love letting somebody else be strong sometimes

Answer 4

I think that could be just it. Marriage is all about communication. If you're not communicating, all aspects of your marriage suffer. Talk to him about this. Tell him you're not feeling as close because you're not talking or spending any time together. I think you should seriously consider taking a weekend and getting away-no phones, no work, nothing. Take the time to re-connect with your husband. Rediscover what made you fall for him the first time. If that doesn't work, I really think you should get into some marriage counseling together. Good luck!

Answer 5

G24, sounds more like you see the grass is greener on the other side. im not sure where some people get the notion that you'll be in bliss for the rest of your life but its not true, every long term couple will tell you there are days youll wake up and hate your spouse and if your deserving of a long lived marriage youll be abe to see your way through it. otherwise youll be fooling yourself if think you just fell out of love and if you replace him with someone else that love wont be hard at times, becuase youll wake up feeling this exact same way. its a perpetual cycle you will see in life and untill you learn to deal with it youll see again and again. DR.Luara told somone once if you pretend like you love somone youll wake up in love. you need to pretend like your very euphorically in love, be a giddy teenager. (dont tell the husband) and see what he does do this for a few weeks and i'd be willing to bet you will come back and explain how you love him and have found a newfound common bound. love is infectouse your husband will react to you acting giddy and will return it like way back in the begining before life interupted the bliss. time to put life on the back burner and recapture the fire.... good luck

Answer 6

You grew apart. FInd out when your first started to grow apart, what caused it, what things have you grown apart with and what things are still connected, pin pointing the problem, and then fix it with deep communication. This will test both of you with your comminucation ability, as well as test If you really were mature enough to get married, and married the right person

str8triso AND TO OTHERS with the same idea about marriage: People against marriage are afraid of themselves, afraid of screwing up, afraid they can't find real love, and/or so independant & into themselves that they've become too selfish to fully open up to another. They're afraid to really love.

GeneJohn - People never change who they are. Those who think they changed are too arrogant to admit that they really didn't know the person from the beginning.

Answer 7

Has your husband let himself go?
If he doesn't look the same and has put on some extra weith, etc then it could be quite possible that you're not attracted to him.
This doesn't mean that you don't love him anymore. It may mean that your husbands sex is boring to you and that you want to try new things.
I would suggest role playing, sexual dice, sex toys, etc. If you still feel unattracted to him— you'll have to be honest and see what the two of you can come up with.

Answer 8

Not necessarily. In your case, that could be the reason. But in most cases, wives and husbands became familiar with each other specially if they been married for a long long time. As the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. Why not try to recapture the love you have for each other? Like go dating as you did it before you got married. Learn to complement each other with kind and loving words.

Answer 9

It sounds like you are really missing him and what you used to have. The most important thing for girls is to feel loved and the most important things for men is to feel respected. I've been where you are more than once but have always tried to work really hard to turn things around/start over. Start leaving him notes (even if you don't feel like it) reminding him how much you love him and miss him and are proud to be his wife. Make time for date nights and just learn to communicate again. This will help more than you can imagine. You will even start to feel closer to him intimately also. I hope it works out! Marriage is definitely worth fighthing for and no one ever said it would be easy. There are many highs and lows.

Answer 10

The physical side of love has to be there, I think him getting home late does have an effect. But bear with it, be patient, pray that God will renew the fire. Marriage is a beautiful thing, the second highest commitment only other to God. So again, keep your head up and things will work out for you.

Answer 11

This question is totally one sided, everybody has their own story to tell. I understand this is your perception, but what does he have to say about it all? Do you talk to him about how you feel? People usually get married because they are in love and most divorces can be avoided...This is why I say maybe you need professional Marriage/Family Therapist, because they can point you in the right direction..